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My sister's accusation
September 14, 1999
10:58 am
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Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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Last night, my sister told me that she'd been touched by my father, and I don't want to believe her. I'm sorry, I know that is the absolute wrong reaction, but I can't how I feel. I lived in the same house as her, and never EVER sensed this. My father never touched me and I have a wonderful relationship with him.

My sister has been on anti-depressants and has been seeing a psychologist for a couple of years. She's been hateful and vindictive for as long as I can think of, and I don't know what to attribute this to.

When we were younger, she was never afraid around my Dad. She chose him to get her out of trouble, and to be the intermediary between her and my mother. Why would she seek him out if he'd hurt her?

Is is possible that my father would have touched her and never touched me? It doesn't seem to make sense. And, no, I'm not repressing anything. I had a very happy, loving childhood that I remember fully.

September 14, 1999
11:28 am
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September 24, 2010
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I know a lot of replies to your questions, but I don't know that you'll accept them...

Sometimes sexually abusive parents favor one child over the other, for whatever reason.

Sexually abused children will often develop an overly-strong attatchmet to the abuser because they see the abuser as a power figure who controls their life. Often they are visibly closer to the abuser and will turn against the passive parent (angry that the passive parent does nothing to stop the abuse).

If you are suppressing memories, it's entirely impossible for you to recall them. That's what supressed means.

Being on anti-depressants and seeing a counselor does not make a person "crazy" or "unstable". Everyone has issues and they deal with them with different tools.

Consider that your sister might be vindicitve and angry because she feels hurt right now and probably feels like no one is supporting her.

I understand that hearing something like this, whether it's true or not, can be very painful. I just wanted to answer some of your questions from the standpoint of a woman who was abused (yes, tears, I've got that one hanging on my neck too...I think I'm 0 for 0, ha ha). I've done a lot of research on the subject for my own sanity's sake, so I'm not just whistling in the dark here.

I just presented information, you need to sit down and have a long talk with your sister and really listen to her. Even if she is disturbed, as your sister you should support her and try to help her. Don't just cut her out of your lfe because she merely said something you don't agree with. She needs your help, _especially_ if she's not telling the truth.

September 14, 1999
11:29 am
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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It IS possible that she took the abuse so you wouldnt. Is she older? Her anger and depression could relate to childhood abuse. She confided in you, you need to give her the benefit of the doubt. It is very rare for someone to make this up. Children bond to the abusor and often seek them out to protect them from the other parents wrath.. I think that you should both talk to her therapist. Good luck

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