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My problems with church service
September 25, 2008
11:26 pm
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soofoo
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September 24, 2010
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I am a Christian, but I pray alone and don't have the spiritual community I'd like to have. I'd like to go to church. A church. It doesn't have to be perfect and I don't have to agree with everything the minister says. But I would like to belong somewhere.

The problem is the way I react to church service. I cry. It's really uncontrollable. At Catholic (I was baptized Catholic) and Episcopal mass (they are very similar) I always cry when they do the "gifts". When the priest rings the bell and blesses the Body of Christ, I begin sobbing. If it was just a gentle crying, that would be easier. But it never is. It's a sobbing, messy crying requiring nose blowing and the whole 9 yards. It continues usually until way after I have received communion, close to the end of mass. It's the kind of crying that causes big puffy eyes. It is extremely embarrassing for me. Many times people will ask me what is wrong, and I can't tell them because there isn't anything wrong, this is just the way I react to mass. I have absolutely no control over this. I just hang my head down and try not to disturb people.

It has happened at other types of service too. I attended a Methodist church for a little while and found that I did not cry every time. They did not have communion all the time though.

The crying is definitely cathartic. But it is also so embarrassing to me, and it makes me feel very socially awkward. I have no trouble making friends otherwise, but I feel like everyone must think I'm a total wacko at church.

Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

September 25, 2008
11:27 pm
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soofoo
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oh dear, meant to post this on libs. Please ignore, I will repost. The site does support threads by default. Sorry.

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