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My online relationship is breaking my heart
January 26, 2000
10:46 am
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midniterose
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September 27, 2010
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Ive been meeting this guy online for months. For me i think im in love. With him i think he just uses me for sex. Cyber sex. Hes getting more weirder lately and he keeps messing with my mind trying to make me out to be a bad person. Hes hurting me emotioinally and i dont know who to talk to . I cant stop seeing him either Im like totally in love even though I know hes only using me. what do you think of this ? Has anyone gone through anything like this before falling in love online and getting hurt Id like to know.

January 27, 2000
10:22 am
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Cici
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September 24, 2010
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What is love to you, hon?

For me, love is about being cared for and caring about someone. It's all about reciprocation. If he doesn't show you everyday that you are the most important person in his world, he doesn't love you.

Everyone creates illusions about the people around them that they care about. Problems begin to sprout when the visoin of the person in your head is not in sync with the reality of that person. Then you begin to expect things from them that they may or may not be able to give you. This causes tensions, stress, and eventually resentment. And excessive resentment spells the end of a relationship.

Think long and hard. Someone who makes you feel badly about yourself does not deserve your love. And they definately don't love you. Why are you giving up the chance of finding someone who will feel for you exactly like you feel for this guy?

January 27, 2000
12:38 pm
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holly2001
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I would add to that to just be careful getting too attached to a cyber-person, even if you are in love with him. It's not real, you can't live "online". All you have to do is get away from your computer, find some kind of activity to interest you and get your attention, and let some time pass without communicating with him. Maybe your need will diminish when you spend some time doing "real" things or being with real people.

I know this is just a lot of advice, easier said than done, but I have alot of those same tendencies in real life with men! I am presently trying to work on valuing myself more than any man and not letting men control my actions or feelings. It is hard after a lifetime of those behaviors, but I was miserable feeling "lost" or "dependent" on men for all my needs and my basic happiness. Especially men who put me down or tried to control me with guilt or possessiveness.

It is easy to let someone else decide how you should feel and act, but you can't live long that way. I guess what I'm trying to say is, wake up now and see what you're doing to yourself, before you go too far and meet him in person or give him your address. Then you'll really be stuck with him, which sounds pretty scary to me.

You are strong enough to make the right decision. Take care of yourself first, and if he doesn't like it, he doesn't really love you. The sooner you know for sure, the better.
Good luck.

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