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My Mum Dosn't Understand what should i do?
December 22, 2002
1:29 am
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Well some of you might know i go to the hospital and see a counselor there every week, beucase my guidence officer at school said i needed to go but brifly told my mum why and then i have bieng going for 2 months now. and my mum just takes me and sits in the witing room. and she really dosnt know why i'm comming so my counselor said to me do you think i should talk to your mum and tell her why you are going and at the start i was really not want her to do it. beucase if a reaction i got last year from a letter about my problems and evrything and perents didnt care and thought i was attion seeking and that didnt really care and understand from my point of view. and thry said to me "Jess ims not wasting my breath on it" and since then i dont talk to my parents beucase i odnt want her her there reaction and it really did hurt and i tell my counselor and school and at the hospital and my dirary. well i was really worred should i go in there when they talk. that night i was so worried i stayed up most of the night stressing and worired about it again.

That day my mum forgot to go and i rembered for her, i know she is bussy and everything but still she does it most weeks. well i went and i was so nervise i was shaving and i was eating my nail polish off my findernails shaking. they talekd and my mu thought i was going beucase i was having problems at school with friends and stuff. but it was more like my eating stationary and my voises i here and my belife i had powers and that and my lack of self steam. and then my mum said yeah and then she said "Jess has bieng getting along with her brother alot better" and really it has being worse beucase he is throughing stuff at me and we are fighting all the time the reason why my mum doesnt see it is beucase she works. and that she doesnt here me talk to my self becuase i try and not do it around people and that. and then she said "Jess cant handle her school work and my husband and i are thinking about getting a tutor and i dont need one i can do the work. the reason why is i get so stressed about everything else i cant handle it all. and i think i need to fix the stress and theni wont have a problems and she thinks everything is to do with her and everything and she knows better, but she doesnt. and then my counseor said "I talked to someone else about jess's problem and he is here on monday and could jess please b able to come?" my mum said no i'm so bussy at the moomemt and i odnt have time and so one and tried to find away not to go. Then my counselor said" i will be able to pick up jess and take her home" and now since my mum is working she ais to her oh when you are finshed take jess to the place were she was working. to me i tihnk that was really rude. and i didnt say anything. when we left my mu said"Jess we need to comunicate better? the reason why is beucase everything is done her way and she knows better. and the way she was going on if it was about her not me. and then said said, "i odnt want you on pills" and i said mmu if i need themi will take them but i odnt think i will" but if i need to go on them its for the right reason and its like my mum is thinking this is a big act and not a big deal. and she went on and on and on. and that is the reason why i odnt tell my mum anything. but the thing is my councsleor forgot the tell her about why i dont talk to my mum. but tommorw i'm going and i odnt know what to do with my mum i know she has work but she nver has time for me to go to the hospital i'm her dauther with sort of problem that needs help. i just fee like she doesnt care and she thinks she knows better and know the way she was talking i think i have gotten funther away. i odnt know what to do any more. its reallyborthering me please help me? love you always Jess xoxox

December 23, 2002
6:03 am
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Today I went to the hospital and my counselor (Melinda) picked me up and we talked in the car about how things were going and everything I got there and I saw DR Cook. I told him about my powers and my eating and everything and he wanted to know have I hurt myself and I said she I have scratched my arm and cut my wrists. And stuff like that and how do I cope with my brother and family. And do my family have a medical history, which I don’t know much about. It was really nervous and agitated about it all. Then he told me to wait out side so he could talk to my counselor about things and I came back in and he said he doesn’t know what is going on with me but since this is worrying me he said take some table and I would have to take half of it and the only side affects is that it makes you drowsy and makes you get hungry, but I would take the tablet at night so the drowsy wouldn’t be a problem. Its soppse to sore the stress and make me feel more at ease. I think that it has to be better than anything you have to try something and the DR didn’t put me on this for no reason. Well I know my mum would have a problem about this and I waited until we got home because we were at the shops and she said come in my room and talk, I told her what happened in brief terms and really didn’t go into much detail, and then I told her about the tablets the first thing she said was “No way your not going on them” and she said your 15 and you don’t need then and I don't see no evidence why you need them. See the problem is I eat stationary and I talk to people in my head and my mum saids she dosnt here me talking to anyone because she is working and she is hardly home and I don’t do it in front of people I do it in my room or in my head. And she things I don’t need them at all. And she thinks this is like a mountains with its really a mount hill something like that she told me. She said “Jess you don’t need to go on them its well be there for your rest of your like and so on” and you don’t need them. But that is from her point of view she don't have to life like the way I am, she doesn’t have to put up with it every day since I was 9 years old. About 6 months ago I went to the doctors and my mum and the DR was talking about me going on the pill because its controls hormones and controls acne and protects me from sex. And as usual nothing happened of that. And now mum brings it up today and now I’m going on it she thinks this might work and might help me. She things I’m like every other teenager who has hormones and problems but I also don’t see every teenager who things she had powers and has a constant eating of stationary to me its not normal. And she things the Pill with help! Do you think it will? And then my mum was asking questions like when do I talk to my master and stuff like that she said how can I find time when I’m on the net doing school work and on the phone and stuff like that to talk. Well she doesn’t understand it happens anytime when I’m having a conversation with anyone it happens. And she asked me I know this answer but I want you to answer this “do you hurt yourself?” I said no but really I have I have slit my wrists but they weren’t that bad and scratched my arms and stuff like that. I cant tell my mum I cant talk because she starts talking over like she did today and things that she knows what is best for me but she doesn’t she doesn't have to go through this. And I felt so uncomfortible and she wanted answers and I didn’t give them to her. I told her to ring up my counselor and talk and she said to her that she doesn’t want me on the tablets and that I’m going on the pill and that she wants a 2nd oppion on all of this for the tablets, and find some other way instead of talking tablets. My dad dosnt think I have problems and nothing is wrong with me. But the way she was talking is like that she know what was best and that is the way it has to go no matter what I think. She asked me what do I want to do I said I don’t know but I would have know say if I wanted to but to me if has to be better than nothing I cant stand living like this anymore. To me I have no say on what does on but she asked me and I cant speak up and she it whether I like it or not and she is making the decision for me. Since I’m 15 I cant make the decision because I’m underage I have to be 18 to do that. Please help me I don’t know what do I have being pulled and I don’t like this I just want to get better help me please? Love you Jess xoxoxox

December 23, 2002
6:53 pm
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please anyone

December 23, 2002
7:28 pm
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Jess---- I hear you. I feel for you, and you are between a rock and a hard spot, and so am I with the advice that I am going to give you.
See a part of me that has raised two daughters, knows the denial a parent can have with the way they are and how it can effect the children in the house, and I know that life for you today is something so far removed from what our experience was as a teen some 10-15 even 5 years ago. I also know that MD's give out pills way to easily, and quick, like a bandaid on a broken leg. The pill doesn't help if the problems are still there, but it can help you to feel better and function better, but it is not always the solution. I don't know all that you are dealing with, the home, the school, and the brother, but I hear it hurts.
I can't tell you to take the pill or not take the pill, and I sure don't want you to act out to the point where your mom finally gets that you have a problem, and perhaps with all due respect to your mom the problem is a lack of attention ?
Denial is an almost impossible wall to break through, so have your own break through, fight for you, be your own hero, your own lover, your own parent. do what is right for your well being. You have read these threads, and a common theme is even with us old foggies, our parents, good bad indifferent, but we survived them ,and all the crap that we had to deal with as kids. Now I know for a fact that you have alot more crap than we did, more choices and more pressure, but there is a way to deal with it, and that is to find support where you can. You can have a whole thread of surrogot parents here, you have your counselor, and some friends, but use your intuition, how does this serve me, is it in my best interest, like eating paper, you know that is not, so controll your self try real hard, don't harm you, don't cut, or scratch. please. keep talking keep writing. We care.

December 24, 2002
7:33 pm
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Yes we do.... esp. we'll try to help but bottom line is you help yourself.

Like Molly said...Mom's often don't want to admit how serious a problem can be cuz sometimes we just want you HAPPY.

Keep the door open. Share with her when you can. It might take time. Might take forever.

Just take care of you.

Meds....might be worth a try if you keep up the counseling too. They might help you really concentrate on what you need too.

Even if mom doesn't understand you need to understand and figure out the problem to your best ability.

Good llluck hon.

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