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my mother is a raging drunk
June 5, 2007
11:06 am
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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September 24, 2010
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loverbee....had a thought...have you considered going to "ACOA" meetings? adult children of alcoholics?

I have...just didn't find any locally.

Alot of people there in similar situations...may help you find skills to cope....and work thru any residual anger you may have.

You mention moving to NY, I would bet there are many meetings you can find there.

You have such a bright future...I would hate to see something like mom hold you back from reaching full potential!

June 5, 2007
11:29 am
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loverbee
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I have been through so much therapy about this issue that its almost rediculous. So I feel like I just need to move on. Most of the time I do move on and just...I don't know, its nice cause most of the time I pretend I don't have her as part of her life. I mean so far, I haven't let her stop me from doing anything and I am not going to start now. My sister has always been very good at making sure I don't let her get to me too much so its nice to have her support. I am just going to go on the cruise I am going on and enjoy and move and not talk to her for a while.

June 5, 2007
7:54 pm
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Hi loverbee, I wish your mom could stop drinking and see how awful she is being with you. I would be so embarrassed to do that to my kids. She's beyond being aware.

I had a gf I used to get together with on Fridays. She was single, no children. We'd take my little kids to the park and talk and talk and talk. After we moved away from each other, we were reduced to phone calls. I really love/loved her, but as my kids hit their mid-teens, she was calling drunk and talking to whomever answered. One time she told my 15-yr-old all about her last sexual encounter.....that's when I made her stop doing it. I gave her a choice to either not call, or call sober. I told her if she even sounded a little drunk I'd hang up on her.

It worked. She stopped calling.

The last time she called was about 10 a.m. on a Sat. morning 2 yrs ago. I lied and said I had to go someplace and hung up. She was so drunk she wouldn't remember.

I did everything I knew to get her to stop drinking. I feel grief that she's lost to me. I miss her. But the relief is awesome.

June 5, 2007
8:28 pm
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loverbee
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Yeah, at this point, i feel I have better things to do than to be getting angry at my mother all the time. I have spent way to much time already raging on her. I feel like I do it because my sister keeps saying "well she means well" and then I have to feel guilty. But she was never a mother to me...only to my sister so I am beginning to realize that I have no obligation to her. Its rediculous to feel like I have to keep up this thing with her and keep being the good guy. I am not a bad guy just because I don't want to always be the good guy. Thats all I need to know.

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