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MY MAN IS DRIVING ME CRAZY
April 18, 2001
12:39 pm
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SANDI
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April 18, 2001
12:43 pm
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SANDI
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HI MY NAME IS SANDI AND I AM HAVING SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH MY BOYFRIEND OF 1 YEAR. HE TRYS TO ARGUE WITH ME EVERYDAY. I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH, BUT I AM TRIED OF ARGUING WITH HIM OR AS HE CALLS IT DEBATING. THE STUFF WE ARGUE ABOUT IS VERY STUPID AND PETTY. I DONT KNOW WHETHER TO STAY OR GO.

April 18, 2001
4:54 pm
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Molly
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he is a boyfriend, the whole dating thing is supposed to be a process of elimination, so eliminate him. Unless you consider him marriage material, what gets me is think about the future, how much more do you want to invest. RElationships are like business partnerships, if is is debating or you are debating stupid stuff, what is it going to be like with the bills, children, and buying a house. Think girl think.

April 18, 2001
4:54 pm
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Molly
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he is a boyfriend, the whole dating thing is supposed to be a process of elimination, so eliminate him. Unless you consider him marriage material, what gets me is think about the future, how much more do you want to invest. RElationships are like business partnerships, if is is debating or you are debating stupid stuff, what is it going to be like with the bills, children, and buying a house. Think girl think.

April 18, 2001
6:17 pm
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Ladeska
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No....it's called....I love to be controlled and I love pain. Is this what you want for the rest of your life only turned up in volume? You won't fix him, you won't be the reason why he miraculously becomes a "changed" man of your dreams and you won't get your fairy tale or anything else through him. You're seeing him for who is - get over it, get over him, BE SELECTIVE!!!! Debators will kick the hell out of you if you let them. They are little Hitlers and you will never have any respect from him. He doesn't respect himself is the problem - but YOU are the one - He will kick. Get out - while you can.

April 21, 2001
11:10 pm
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deeturner
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sandi i know what your going through cause i have been with this guy for 2 years now and things were great at first ,then this past year has been difficult cause i have the feeling he is trying to control me and i hate it so i tryed his game by controlling him and he hate it and i told him now you know what i feel like,have you tried to sit down and talk to him about how you feel cause sometimes it works but not always,right now i want to leave my man cause i cant take the bull any more but i am in the process of saving money to move but its hard when your not working and only getting child support when it gets here and collecting unemployment is not much but it gets me by,i have been looking for another job and have not found one yet,and one thing a man hates is when you prove he is in the wrong cause men think they are at least 80% right and women are 20%right,cause thats what my man thinks,someday i would like to be married and be happy but unforuntaly i have not met the right guy yet nobodys perfect but i would like a guy to treat me with respect and love me for who im not my looks or sex.any one that wants to respond is more than welcome thank you .

April 23, 2001
2:39 am
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malaikau
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Sandi,

Would you be comfortable talking in a little more detail about what sorts of things he is picking fights over? If he is picking on you about what kinds of clothes you wear, well, that's very different than him wanting to "debate" the issue of gun control with you.

The fact of the matter is, regardless of the nature of your fights with him, that you're the one with all of the information. You know him and yourself better than anyone who posts here. (Unless his mother frequents this site!) You are the one with the power to decide what and how much you are willing to tolerate in a relationship. Trust in your instincts as you're the one with all the knowledge. Whether you decide to stay with him or break it off, you deserve the support of those around you.

Sincerely,

Mal

April 23, 2001
10:06 am
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damaged
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I sujust you try and get a girl friend. Thay have much bigger hearts than most men.

April 25, 2001
7:54 pm
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blinded
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Hey there
I think I understand you. I am in the same situation with my boyfriend of a year. i am starting to learn when you are with someone for that long you should both grow and if one grows faster than the other its problems. What my boyfriend and i are doing is taking time out and trying to get help independently because we have started to depend on each other too much. i love him and thinking ogf a future together. we always have to remember our fondation and its hard because to love some its easy, but to deal with problems its another story. well good luck.

April 27, 2001
4:19 pm
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Moonchange
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Hi sandi, i totally can relate to you. I have been with this guy for 3 yrs and he used to be so different but he has changed. He does the same thing to me that your having your problem with. He argues with me about things that are worth arguing to the stupidest and littlest peddy things you can think of. I get so tired of it. I dont think he even relizes what he does. When we argue about stupid small things i say to him why are we even arguing, who cares this is so petty. He will still have to make his point. He always does. I will make my point but he has to make his more stronger and it drives me nuts. He "debates" everything. Thats not how relationships should be, people are supposed to talk to one anouther.I dont know, he just always has to be right about everything- he is always about the facts and hardly ever about emotion. Emotion has a part in why i do things its my reason sometimes, ya know you do things based on what you feel. He just says that is an excuse. The thing that makes me really mad is when i know i am right about something he will always manipulte the situation and turn it around to make me in the wrong no matter what.Anyway i kinda started rambling on. Just listen to LADESKA it sounds like he or she knows what their talking about.

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