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My Girlfriend's Ignoring me
April 2, 2001
11:23 am
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stones_dj
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Well I have written several time's here and whould appriciate some insight on what I should do. I have been dating this lady for 5 years, she is 39 and I am 31. She has two kids both boys one 19 and the other 15. I have lived with them for 4 of the 5 years that we have been dating. In the last 5 years I feel I have done everything for them, loaned her oldest son money to buy a new car. Given her money to buy a new car. Her kids never wanted for anything. We went on several vacations per year etc. She kept talking about me and how I am not committed to this relationship. And she wanted more. Therefore, at christmas I bought her an engagement ring and asked her to marry me, she said yes. She then starts saying how her ring was not as nice as my ex-wife's etc. etc etc.. I was starting to feel like no matter what I did for them it wasn't good enough. She then says she wants me to leave and move out. In the mean time I found out that my ex wife has a drug problem and that I am going to have to take care of my daughter untul she gets help for her problems. I told my girlfriend that I am going to take my daughter and that I need her help to raise her and she still wanted me to leave. Then two days after I picked up my daughter, my girlfriend has put all my things out in the driveway knowing I had nowhere to go with my dauther. Saying she was mad and hurt that I didn not conference her in when I told my ex-wife that I was taking my daughter. Since she put my things in the driveway and drive off with the house locked, I had no choice but to take my things and leave. Now I try to talk to her and she ignores my phone calls and doesn't return them when I leave messages. I have started going to counceling and ask her to come with me and she refuses. WHAT SHOULD I DO ??? Any advise would be greatly appriciated ..

April 2, 2001
11:51 am
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ranmar1
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Based on what you are saying, I would say your girlfriend did you a favor. Why would you want to marry someone that selfish? Wouldn't she expect you to do the same thing for one of her kids too? Why would you become engaged just to prove to her something? I think this was doomed for a while, it just took the unfortunate event of your ex to push it to it's predictable outcome. I would say, let it rest for a while. Go to counseling on your own first while things settle down. Then see if you still feel the same.......

April 2, 2001
8:18 pm
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Suemee
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stones_dj - this situation must be very painful for you but I suggest you put all your energy into looking after yourself and your little girl, rather than worrying about how to get your ex back. I think you need to accept the fact that your ex doesnt want you to get her back, and get on with building a life for you and your little girl. Continuing to pursue her when she doesn't want to be, is only going to cause you pain, and your daughter too. I wish you and your little girl well.

April 2, 2001
8:58 pm
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pg lova
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stones_dj,

Don't talk to her. The worst hurt you can cause heris to forget about her. Wait and see. She'll wake up and ealize what a good man she had and she threw it away. Then, she'll be miserable and wanna come back, that's when you ignore her. Who does she think she is that she can do this to another human being? I was in your position with my girlfriend, it seemed as though all I did for was never enough. Then, she put me out and you know what? I never looked back, in fact I was eager for the opportunity to date again. Now I am dating another girl who is a lot better and my ex keeps calling but you know what else? She's outta the picture. Move on, she's an evil, demented, stupid little winch who has no sense whatsoever and she'll regret it sooner or later.

God Bless.

PG Lova

PS. If you ever feel depressed or need to talk about anything that has you down, just e-mail me at [email protected].

April 3, 2001
1:55 am
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gingerleigh
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Stones_dj, the friends are absolutely right. The focus needs to be on you now, and making your new place a home for you and your daughter.

Sounds like your ex girlfriend is not happy with something in her life, and most likely it isn't just you. You were a convenient scapegoat for all of her woes. I'm not picking on her per se, but the time apart will be very very good for you.

Besides, think of the added pressure on your little one if you would have had to bring her to live with the other kids... it will be much easier of a transition on her to get to rebuild her life with you alone.

How are you feeling? Feel free to talk more, pretty much ALL of us can understand or painfully relate to what you are going through. We can listen and offer some comfort.

April 3, 2001
10:39 am
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Sal
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I think she desperately wants you to pursue her, and I hope you don't give her the satisfaction. I know you've invested a lot in her and her kids, but the healthy thing to do, is to cut your losses, grieve, and move on. Best of luck to you.

April 3, 2001
1:28 pm
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stones_dj
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Well I don't know how to stop calling, I tell myself when she is mean and cold to me on the phone that I won;t call her again. The next thing you know I am calling and calling. She ignores my phone calls and that makes me even more angry and hurt. I am in the process of looking for a house for my daughter and I. I just need to move on but I just don't know how to let go. Also, she kept everything, everything I bought her as gifts dive gear, expensive jewlery etc., she also took back all the things that she bought me. So I feel she has everything. So do I write all this off ? or what, I am confused..

April 6, 2001
9:23 am
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pg lova
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Stones_dj,

Come on now, don't chase her! Ain't no girl worth all tht and especially not her. After all she did to you, you mean to tell me that you still wanna chase her. Listen to me when I tell you no. I have been there before, chasing a girl to get her to show me love, but I ended up doing more harm to myself over that than good. Learn from my mistakes. Look, I know it's hard, but you have to move on, she doesn't want you anymore and being the selfish, little spoiled brat she is you shouldn't want her either. As for your things has she lost her mind? Tell her you want your things back. She wants to take her stuff back go get yours. Man stay away from her! She sounds canaiving, scandalous, and manipulative that is not someone you want. Leave the winch alone, she is crazy and stupid and that is NOT anyone who means you any good.

It's gonna be all right just be strong,

PG Lova

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