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My Friend Says I'm A Fool
January 12, 2007
5:09 pm
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nappy
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September 29, 2010
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This man is making you crazy and you will after awhile will be in the hospital if you don't get yourself together.
Don't let any one tell you about yourself, your husband, or your kids. The only one's know are you and your husband. His mother is going to side with her son because that is her son. He could be the devil and she will not see that.
If he wants to swing then let him swing his self right out the door. Why keep beating a dead horse. You have said your peace about swinging and that it that. Your next step should be, what are you going to do.
I would move because as long as you stay in that house, whether are not he is there. He will always be coming over and his family will also. Because they will be trying to get you to get back with him. Move into your own place, then him and anyone else that you don't want to come over can not.
I get angry hearing about some of these stories where the husband is trying to make the woman feel bad. I went through that and I thank god that I am out of that. I am my own person and it feel good. Putting up with drama everyday and every night is going to get old fast and with me I can only take so much then I have had it with that person. My mother put up with that mess (every day and night) and I guess I was angry with her as being a child because I was like, please just leave him. I wish that she would have because now she is dead because of him.

January 12, 2007
5:37 pm
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bevdee
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Juanita,

Please listen to Nappy when she says - "If he wants to swing then let him swing his self right out the door."

When you see a lawyer, please let her/him know that your H has been pressuring you to "swing", and has accessed adult sites from your home where your children are.

I suspect your H knows how harshly family service type organizations would look on his activities.

January 12, 2007
6:02 pm
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taj64
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I tihnk you are trying to believe whatever you want to hear even if it goes against what you really know. Im so sorry to hear this. His mom is trying to defend him as a mother would do because she does not want to think badly about her son and looks to me to turn a blind eye. If he truly loved you he would not even be giving you the guilt trip this way but letting you like a good man would. Im so sorry for you. Reading your thread burns me as I feel you deserve so much better than this and I feel it is not really love at all. If this were me, I would pack up and not look back. And be a little scary at first but you will bounce back like no other. I just feel so incredibly sad for you as this man does not know what a good woman he is standing in front of him. Stay strong, and stick with your beliefs.

January 12, 2007
7:33 pm
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Zinnie
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Sadly, the only thing that will happen unless you get rid of his sorry ass now AND get your children into counseling?

You will end up with a daughter in a bad relationship, and probably pregnant before she is 20... why? Because she saw Mom get talked into anything and everything by "dear ol' Dad" so, she will just forget trying to be talked into it, and just say "O.K., fine, just get it on and over with." And... a son that treats women even worse than your husband treats you.

This is too sad for words. Matter of fact it is sick.

If you were to tell a divorce attorney, HONESTLY all of this? All of what he has asked you to do over the years, you had better believe he would ONLY have supervised visits (I guess I can check with my friend that is a Seargant there in the Boston P.D. - if he has any idea of that), and he would also be in court ordered counseling.

You know, if he were a smart man... he would go ahead and move out so he would not have to go trhough all of this. But... since you have always backed down - he will not; and one or two things will happen. Either you one day will go through with trying to improve your life, and these things will come to pass, or you will not. In which, eventually he will get his way and you will try to gloss over it saying... "well, the threesome, I agreed to so he didn't have to go looking." Again, justifying his bad behavior.

Z.

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