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my ex driving me to suicide
September 21, 2000
9:27 pm
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antoinette
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my ex now of 21 days, has been send me email and confessing that he is sexually involved with postitutes, during and after our marriage. He confesses to me verbally and by email. I had a breakdown today, and couldn't stop crying, my mother came over because i was suicidal. she is sleeping over and i'm going with her to the therapist tomorrow. she called my ex and told him don't call me, talk to me or bother me. my mother will be the person to drop off my three sons to their fathers house. when i'm alone i keep thinking about drinking anything to end my life, im so miserable and he is so cruel and he's driving me to suicide. i want to die.

September 21, 2000
11:48 pm
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Brenda
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dear antoinette, do you want to give your ex that final power over you?
Take back your power, take the support your mother is giving you and get closer to her, ignore him as best you can and ask your mother to help you get a restraining order.
Please call and talk to someone on a crisis line or at a battered womens shelter, what your ex is doing is emotional abuse and it sounds like he has been grinding you down for many years. You did the right thing by leaving him, now its time to reclaim your soul. I pray for gods healing and guidance to come into your life and bless you with the holy spirit. Amen

September 21, 2000
11:50 pm
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Brenda
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Dear antoinette
ask god to take away your desire to end your life or deal with the pain you are experiencing destructively,
surrender all,
lay yourself in the arms of your highest power/god
pray for a miracle, for they do happen
and then thank god
God bless

September 22, 2000
4:40 pm
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Molly
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Let mom stand guard, and get your self to a doctor, and then to a counselor. One get some tests, and get something to help you sleep. I do not believe in medication, but there is a time and place for everything. You need to turn your brain off for a while, and get some rest. Sounds like he is indeed trying to hurt you, and you have three children who will need you. Give it a rest, isolate your self from any contact, then full speed ahead, and this is war, some times getting even(not that it is really possible) is healthy. Financially strangle, this romeo, if he has had the extra money for his casual selfish selfcentered needs, take it from him. Get MAD, do not be a victim any more.

September 25, 2000
5:28 am
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hazza
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antionette,
things are at there very worst now, but when you get throught this - and you will you know, you will feel so strong from it.
he is a jerk - that much is clear and you did your very best - but he is a sad pathetic man who cannot forma proper relationship. that is just a truth that you are gonna have to accept abou this particular man. and in time you wil accept that.
It will be hard going for a while - but you have your kids and your mother to help you get through this. take the advice already offered! get as much help as you can.
you are free of this idiot - he has put you down nd ground you down so much that you cannot see the poin of carrying on right now - but I promise you - all he has done is to free you finally so you can enjoy the rest of your life. Do not have any contact with him other than through the lawyers - in a while the anger you feel will be stronger than the sorrow and then you can use all that energy to making a great new life for yourself.
In the meantime try to talk things out, get it out of your system. He has told you a load of shit about yourself and over the years etc your have been affected by all that stuff. if it helps to talk it here then do so - I can tell you this site saved me on many occasion!
hugs to you and keep strong, you will triumph over this I promise you.
He is a scumbag - you will triumph and he never will until he addresses his own problems instead of bullying other people.
peace to you
Hazza

September 26, 2000
2:29 pm
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Lynn 5
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September 26, 2000
2:34 pm
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Lynn 5
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Try to keep in mind,suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.This too shall pass,and your babies need their Mamma right now.Think how it would affect the rest of their lives,trying to deal with your death.They need you,and you don't want to miss out on their growing up do you??

October 4, 2000
1:41 am
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cicada
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I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. I think that sometimes, people forget how much their lives are really worth. What helps me is to think of the people that love me. For example,your mother, your children. I am sure that they do not want to lose you. I wish you only the best.

October 13, 2000
3:21 pm
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giveup
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Oh my what a terrible thing to have to face. I know how you feel I mean that because I was in a very emotional and mental abusive marriage. I am going through a divorce now and we have a child together. but, listen from what you said you need to do some serious work right now and each day that passes will be harder to get what you need. It sounds like your ex was a very controlling and mean person. Here is what you do buy a phone recorder and a mini recorder and record every conversation you have with him. He is sending confessions through the email GREAT!!! get him to tell you everything you need. If you live in a no fault divorce state you can still file with adultry and mental cruelty. Don't tell him you are recording it is legal to record a conversation as long as one of the party knows they are being recorded. Get Affairs, threats, income everything Because when it comes down to custody and child support the courts don't care about the two of you but they will care about where to place your children. this is NOT the time for emotions it IS time for business. Once you have that mind set you will look at things with a clearer outlook. After a few months you will feel so much better and remember this is business NOT personal. You will make it and life will be so much better without him. YOU CAN DO IT.

October 13, 2000
4:05 pm
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janes
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Be strong...even tho' you think you can't last another minute. Last another second..and then two.

Losten to all the women above... you need to re establish your self. You don't really have to do what he wants you to do any more.

You give him back the power you gained through the divorce whenever you listen and believe what he is saying.

If he was with prostitutes be sure and be tested SOON for Sexually transmitted deseases. When you are sure you are clean let him know that at least he didn't harm you that way .

How pathetic a person he must be. But remember that you are only pathetic if you ALLOW him to continue to have power over you.

October 14, 2000
7:51 am
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lost soul
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I am not sure whether antoinette has got the messages from all the above but I certainly hope she does.

I have actually read it and take all the valuable advises and applied it to myself.

I was once as desperate as antoinette, and I am today still playing the role of a victim. I remember once someone has said that if you are willing to be a doormat, people will treat you as a doormat. How wise and true thy words.

When can I truely set myself free??? If it's not because of my daughter, I would have get this man out of my life forever.

October 14, 2000
8:34 am
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janes
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You can set yourself free as soon as you believe that you are worthy of freedom.

It shouldn't be becasue of your daughter. If he isn't good for you I don't see how he could be good for a child.

October 14, 2000
10:37 am
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lost soul
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janes,

You are right. You are not the only person who tells me that. but it's easy said then done.

When I first confirmed his infidelity, I actually chase him out of my house. It was a very sour situations. It has affected my daughter badly. Till today, I still suspect that our problem has something to do with her poor perfomance in school.

Anyway, this man has cease from my heart. I have totally give out hopes in him.We are actually living under one roof but totally separate soul.I think we are both doing this for the sake of our daughter.

October 14, 2000
9:43 pm
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janes
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No this is not for your daughters sake....maybe for financial reasons.

Children know what is going on.

Two people...at odds with one another, under one roof. you two aren't fooling her. Just confusing her.

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