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my daughter is mentally ill
February 5, 2000
1:09 pm
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alto
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February 5, 2000
1:18 pm
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alto
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My daugher who is 22 is living on the edge, somewhere out west. I saw her around Christmas time. She was pale, extremely thin and very hostile toward her younger sister. She was born to me, when I was quite young and sadly she endured divorce, ten years of verbal and some physical abuse from me, until I received some intensive therapy and was reborn. Still that did not change the harsh reality of how she was treated. I since of another daughter, who has lived a totally different life and by all accounts is healthly child. My older daughter has been in therapy, but no long enough to help. She is drugged out and angry. I'm at a loss of what to do.

February 5, 2000
3:18 pm
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mnms
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I think that sometimes it is very hard for us to see that the people who have hurt us have changed, and I speak as a former abuse victim who has no hope of seeing my abuser ever change. Somehow, you need to prove to your daughter that you really HAVE become a different person. Show her how much you love her. Be careful in how you do this, because she could take a lot of things negatively if she is already defensive. For instance, be careful about suggesting counseling to her because she may take that as "I'm all better and you're screwed up." I'm speaking from personal experience here. I do think she probably needs to be in counseling, but you can't force her to do that. She probably just needs to know that you love her. Reinforce it as best as you can; apologize to her for the past, if you haven't already done so. Ask her what she needs from you. If she needs space, give her space. And pray for her... because sometimes we are very helpless in situations such as these. I am so proud of you that you have been in counseling and gotten help. Congradulations!! I hope that one day your daughter will be proud of you for that as well.

God bless,
mnms

February 6, 2000
11:09 am
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hazza
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Hi
I would say the same thing, have you apologised to your daughter, this really matters in this kind of situation, it can be a way of her finally seeing that it wasn't all in her mind and that you were not always the best mother you could have been at that time. Once that had happened you can both go through the process of forgiveness and understand that life isn't always easy and that we all make mistakes. It will be easier for her to forgive you and reconcile her own past so that she can concentrate on having a healthier and happier future.
Good luck to you both, and well done on being able to see and rectify your own faults, that is vary rare and you should feel propud of yourself for having done so.
Peace
Hazza

February 8, 2000
8:18 am
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Brittainy
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Hi Just keep talking to your daughter especially about the past, comfort her and tell her she is loved. Good luck

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