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My Dad just died
October 16, 2006
11:16 pm
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Juanita
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WD,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you've heard this above, but there are no other words to convey the sentiment.

I am so sorry WD. I am offering you a very warm & heartfelt hug. ((((( WD )))))

Richard loved you and still loves you. Both he & your Mom are with you in spirit now, & always will be. Their days of suffering are over & they are at peace. They know of your grief and would not want to see you hurting. Both of them wanted, and still want, the best for you. Remember the happier memories you all shared and hold onto them. Draw warmth and strength from them.

Remember too, you have friends who are here for you, and send you their caring & support.

As always, your friend,

Juanita

October 18, 2006
7:23 pm
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kirikiri
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it's ok to feel stupid.that's part of being human. we all go through the tough process of trial & error.
but don't beat yourself up.that's the never-thing you should do.
instead,appreciate what you had with him.and love others.
you'll feel much better

October 18, 2006
7:40 pm
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revelation
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Hey wd, how are you doing? let yourself grieve, don't hold back.

Rev.

October 18, 2006
8:02 pm
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Anonymous
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Im sorry for your loss, WD. Some people make a mark in our lives very modestly, like Richard. It seems he didn´t, rightfully so, take the place of your biological dad. As to your feelings about unfavorably comparing Richard to your dad, there may be a strong reason why that is so.

The best explanation given to me as to why our biological parents are so important to us is that we came from them so we are 50% our mothers and 50% our fathers. Badmouthing or rejecting either parent would be a 50% loss of in our identity. Identities are hard to come of age. A 6-month old baby cries if the mother goes out the door b/c the baby thinks she or he is part of the mother, still. As we grow to be adults, we start questioning why we love or feel so strong about people. But its a long way.

I loved my dad. though he was an anti-hero or a loser or whatever. He drank and beat my mom twice at least. I could only start disliking my dad a bit as I got married. I imagined my husband doing that to me. Funny thing is, my xh, a psychologist, got to liking him so much I felt my loving my dad was not so wrong after all. When he died he said I was his soulmate. Hope my sharing makes any sense to you. My parents died 6 months apart too. It isnt easy...

October 18, 2006
9:27 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Dear lollipop3, mj, jewel, armyleo, gayle, smarterone, mamacinnamon, needtoheal, taj64, kasie919, ScaredinMichigan, CAMER, kroika, free spirit, StronginHim77, caraway, 1lost1, sleepless in uk, snowlover, doubleloss, P&L, Isis, Zinnie, lovetocrochet, Juanita, kirikiri, revelation, and sininho:

I am very touched and grateful for your support and compassion at this time. It’s a bit overwhelming too. But welcome.

Yes, it was uncharacteristic of me to actually talk about needing support on the support threads. How human of me.

I guess I’m not as tough as I think.

We will have a memorial service this Saturday. I expect I will speak there.

Hey, thanks everyone.

October 18, 2006
10:00 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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WD,

Just because you need support doesn't make you a wuss, or any less tough. That is what makes you human. It is a lot easier emotionally to try to "tough" it out on your own, but it takes a bigger person to say, hey, I need some support here. I am glad that you were honest in telling us that you needed us. We are all here for you, and keeping you close to our hearts. Again, I am sorry for your loss.

Scared

October 18, 2006
10:34 pm
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Anonymous
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WD,

Sometimes it takes trauma, to let down your guard and show the real side of you, the vulnerable side. That side of you is always welcome by me. Thanks for allowing me to see you and be there for you.

P&L

October 19, 2006
9:12 am
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Dear WD,

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Losing the precious people we love and who loved us.

The most comforting thing anyone said to me when I was grieving was that the love did not stop with this death. You can continue to experience their love, always.

October 19, 2006
1:53 pm
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on my way
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WD,
I am so sorry for your loss. SOme step-dads are more loving and have more of an influence than the biological dad.

Again, I am sorry. You have experienced quite a bit of loss this year then...please make sure you take good care of yourself.

Bunches of HUGS from me to you,
omw

October 19, 2006
11:19 pm
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Juanita
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WD,

Keeping you in my thoughts... wondering how you are doing & feeling.

Words fail me. All I can say is that I believe their love & spirit continue to be with you.

My deepest sympathies to you WD.

(( WD ))

Juanita

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