Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
My Dad just died
October 16, 2006
11:59 am
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My Step-dad, actually.

And I feel so weird.

I don't name people here, but I have to say that his name is Richard. And he is a good, man, a very good man. And he was so strong.

He had to be strong; after all, he married my Mom in 1979. She died six months ago.

I keep typing 1979, 2005, 2006 into Excel. It keeps coming out to be 26, 27 years. I type it in again in case there is some mistake.

Truth is, that over the last 27 years Richard gave me a lot more personal time than my "real dad." I guess he gave me more love, too. Still, I have spent about 27 years comparing Richard, unfavorably, to my biological father.

How stupid is that.

I am so confused.

October 16, 2006
12:01 pm
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((WD))),

I'm so sorry about your loss. Especially so soon after the death of your mother 🙁

Don't beat yourself up. I think it is natural to "compare". That doesn't mean that you didn't respect him or care about him. It just means you are human.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love,
Lolli

October 16, 2006
12:08 pm
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So sorry to hear of your pain and confusion.

My mother has been with a man for over 30 years. I send him fathers day cards even if he and my mom never chose to marry. He isn't my biological father. He is technically my moms boyfriend. I love him no matter his title. He has been having medical problems...and his family chooses to alienate my mother. Just recently, we was taken to stay with his son. My mother feels so abandoned. She feels disrespected and hurt. I try to be supportive and let her know I care about her but it is a strange situation.

Just feel what you are feeling and know that there are others who have confusion.

October 16, 2006
12:10 pm
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD,

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers at this time of deep sorrow. It is okay to feel certain emotions for this is a really hard time and that is part of the grieving process.

Love from Jewel

October 16, 2006
12:13 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am so sorry...

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

October 16, 2006
12:30 pm
Avatar
gayle
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD- I am so sorry for your loss. I am here for you!(((HUGS)))

October 16, 2006
12:35 pm
Avatar
smarterone
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Please accept my condolences at this time. Now he is in the hands of the Lord. Dona

October 16, 2006
12:41 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((WD))))

Can I tell you a secret?? You may have compared him unjustly; but he loved you just the same. With his heart and w/ the love he had for your mom. Don't beat yourself up over this. Not good and you know it. Instead, remember your good times together and dwell on the happy.

I am sorry he is gone, but he's w/ mom now. What better place for him to be.

May I ask for my personal thoughts.. Was your biodad in the picture? And if yes, was biodad downing stepdad alot? My son after rehab finally told his stepdad that he had treated him unjustly all these years, and w/ the prodding of this biodad, and that he knew then and he specially knows now the love his stepdad has for him and always has. That stepdad even tho pushed away was always there for him. Hmmm.. I think your stepdad already knows this just as my son's stepdad already knew. See?

October 16, 2006
12:47 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am so sorry for your loss...

I will be thinking of you

October 16, 2006
12:58 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Im sorry for your loss.

October 16, 2006
1:06 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

wd:

im sorry about your dad, please know your always inmy thoughts and prayers..

You are truly one of a kind

Love kasie

October 16, 2006
1:33 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD,

Please know that you are in my thoughts. I am so sorry to hear this. Know that you are a good man, WD. One dat at a time, and talk to us, we are here. I am glad to see that you posted this on the support side. We don't see you over here much lately. You need the support, and we are here. Thinking of you on this sad day.

Scared

October 16, 2006
2:43 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD...(((prayers for your step dad Richard)))) hope you are doing ok.

October 16, 2006
2:52 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

(((WD))),

My condolences on your loss, and sympathy for the strangeness you feel. Your personal world just shifted on its axis.

I have never had a step parent, but both my parents and one of my sisters have died so I empathize with you at this sad time.

Take good care of you. Many caring thoughts going out to you today from folks here, including me.

kroika

October 16, 2006
2:55 pm
Avatar
free spirit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Worried Dad,

So sorry to hear about your loss. I don't think it is surprising that you spent years doing the unfavorable comparision, loyalty to out bio parents runs so so deep. It runs so deep, it is often very hard to understand.

Thinking of you,

free spirit

October 16, 2006
2:57 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD -

I am sorry to learn of your loss. The death of anyone close to us opens up alot of "retro" thinking. Sometimes, we have regrets. Sometimes, we feel guilt. I am sure that he cared about you a great deal and that he would not want you to feel any regrets or guilt, now that he is Home and at peace.

I pray you find rest for your soul during this Season of Grieving.

- Strong

October 16, 2006
3:05 pm
Avatar
caraway
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD,

I'll bet if you talked to Richard and explained things to him that he would hear you and understand. He sounds like a great guy!

Cary

October 16, 2006
3:06 pm
Avatar
1lost1
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((WD))),

I am sorry for your loss.

1L1

October 16, 2006
3:07 pm
Avatar
sleepless in uk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD

I am thinking of you at this sad and confusing time.

warmest thoughts

October 16, 2006
4:50 pm
Avatar
snowlover
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Worried Dad,

Im so very sorry for your loss. It doesnt matter that he was your "step" father, he was the father figure in your life, and you loved and respected him. Step is just the tile that came with that role.

I know what its like to lose a parent, and I know the days, months and years will be hard for you. Hold on to the things that he brought to your life, and the hold on to those feelings.

Snow

October 16, 2006
6:35 pm
Avatar
doubleloss
Guest
Guests

WD

so sorry for your loss. the death of someone close is always hard, at least in our culture. no point for regreats now, remember the good and remember what he gave you. i'm sure you gave him plenty too. my prayers are with you. and many hugs. double

October 16, 2006
7:08 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD

My deepest sympathies to you.

So many deaths over the past few days, my friend passed away suddenly and unexpectedly; my friends grandfather died; your stepdad. I wonder why I keep hearing of all these deaths.

Life is fragile. Let us be grateful for its gifts. Richard will forever remain alive in his memory within you.

P&L

October 16, 2006
8:01 pm
Avatar
Isis
Massachusetts
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 40
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD,

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Thinking of you and wishing you well during this most difficult time.

Isis

October 16, 2006
9:54 pm
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm so sorry WD... just know that Richard loved you very much - and I know with all my heart, he was very proud of you.

Love,

Z.

October 16, 2006
10:27 pm
Avatar
lovetocrochet
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm so sorry for your loss WD. He sounded like someone you really looked up to and who truly blessed your life.

I agree with mamacinnamon, even if you compared him unfavorably, he undoubtedly loved you no matter what. Hopefully this will help you find some peace in your grief.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
24
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110964
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38560
Posts: 714253
Newest Members:
samzy12, mycvdesigner, JayGriffin212, Youse1937, Cannabeme, charli55
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information