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my 9 year old daughter touches herself
January 6, 2007
3:22 pm
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D27
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my 9 year old daughter touches herself does n e one know what that is all about. I ill go to fix her blanket at night and find her hand in her panties. I dont get it what should I do?

January 6, 2007
3:28 pm
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lollipop3
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Hi D27,

As far as I can tell, I believe that it is very normal and natural for a child of that age to do what you have described.

I don't think it is anything for you to be concerned about....chances are she is just discovering herself.

Of course this is only my opinion, but I would do nothing, other than to perhaps have some sort of an age appropriate conversation with her about the "birds and the bees"

I hope this helped.

Lolli

January 6, 2007
4:41 pm
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It is very normal for a child to explore their bodies at that age. My daughter realized that it felt good when she touched herself when she was 7 years old. I would catch her laying on her belly on the couch while watching television. Her cheeks were completely flushed and I knew that she was beginning to masterbate.

I told her that I knew what she was doing and that it is okay to do... just not outside of the privacy of her bedroom.

It's a normal part of growing up and as long as your daughter does it while she is alone in her room... I don't think it's anything to be concerned about.

TC

January 6, 2007
5:05 pm
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You might want to get her an age-appropriate book. I think Judy Blume wrote one about masturbating... can't recall the title. Maybe a librarian could help.

January 6, 2007
11:26 pm
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hopeful for change
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I always told my kids its ok, that you are suppose to do that in your room with your door closed, thats private. I think its normal.

January 8, 2007
1:15 pm
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emopenguin
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i think its fine. i started this when iwas like 5 and im 15 now. as long as she is alone in her room and no one else knows then yea its perfectly natural.

January 8, 2007
2:28 pm
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StronginHim77
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I definitely would NOT make a big issue out of it. You don't want her to react with shame to her sexual feelings as an adult, right? So, I think low-keying it is the best path.

January 8, 2007
3:07 pm
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Randomwomen2
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My 3 yearold will fall asleep doing this while sucking his thumb. We just tell him that if he is going to do that then he needs to go to his room.

January 11, 2007
9:47 am
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lovetocrochet
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I agree this sounds normal. If I recall you wrote about being sexually abused before, yes? If so I can understand how this can cause you concern that she might have been hurt too and she's acting it out.

But it really is common for kids to explore, you can breathe easy, she's probably okay. Of course it never hurts to have a talk with her about her body and both respecting herself and expecting others to do the same, and if you've done it before trust me a refresher course is never a bad thing.

FWIW my son is 2 1/2 and he's always checking himself out. DH and I like to joke, yes honey, it's yours and it's still there, don't worry it's not going to fall off 🙂

November 2, 2016
10:58 am
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Steve L
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D27 said
my 9 year old daughter touches herself does n e one know what that is all about. I ill go to fix her blanket at night and find her hand in her panties. I dont get it what should I do?  

Hi. I have had lots of experience in this. I know of people with 2 girls that have been molested. They have NEVER been seen rubbing their crotch up until this happened. and they both are masturbating continually since then. So in any case where girls younger than puberty are masturbating, that is usually the main thing I look at. Ask your child if anyone has ever rubbed or done anything in her privates.

Steve

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