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Mr. Billy99 & Cami
June 23, 2009
6:19 pm
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Zebra
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Gotta run for the evening. Talk at you all in the morning.

TB: rest and get it out and know I love you.

Cami: See you later alligator.

Billy: Hi and Bye friend.

2BHappy: Hi and Bye friend.

Love, Z

June 23, 2009
7:58 pm
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nite Z!!

TB, just let her work on these issues herself (your daughter) don't take any blame or fault for what she does...as for the exg'f...hmmm, emails, maybe its best to just "no contact" / ignore them.

I am off to relax now....(((sending huge hugs to all)))) cami

June 23, 2009
9:34 pm
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Feeling really blue, sishing someone was around to talk to.

Think I am still reeling from today. Dont even have the words to express how I feel.

Missing my sister, missing my daughters. Even missing my ex gf. Seems I miss her when things are hard.

I guess I just dont understand why stuff keeps on happening. I just feel like I have been through enough. I dont want to hurt anymore. I am so tried of crying. I cant cry anymore.

Gonna make it an early night. Bye for now.

June 24, 2009
9:18 am
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((((tb)))) hope you are feeling better today. I know how you feel, i really do, i feel like life gets me down, things don't work out the way I want them to, but i still have to live life, I still have to work, still ahve to take my pups out for walks, still have to put that one foot in front of the other. Maybe just take an hour or two for yourself today, to think of nothing, absolutely nothing, give that mind a rest. Hope to see you posting later, remember talking and venting helps so much....it takes away that "alone" feeling.

Z....miss you gal, and i am sure you will be popping in.

2b, hope you and HoneyD are getting along.

Billy, must be busy with the kiddies and with having Billy Jr in your life now.

Off to walk some doggies, then to work, much later.

(((cami)))

June 24, 2009
11:04 am
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Good morning all,

How are you today TB? Take some time for you today and love yourself.
I know life is hard, sometimes down right sucks, but you are a strong women and can make it. I love you.

Cammi: Hi honey. Them furbabies get walked good.

Billy: How you been? How the kiddies?

I am okay. Last night I had a small cry before falling a sleep. Not sure what the emotion was. I was sad about hearing about my X and him not doing well. I was happy, scared, excited that my long time friend said he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me and wants to see what the cards hold for us. I told him I want to go very slow and he said no problem. I guess I am not sure what that really means. I know he loves me because I am a very good friend to him and have known him for a long time. The feelings I have been holding back and finally spoke to him..scared the hell out of me. Does anyone know what this is about?

Work is busy today, so I will check in a few.

Love, Z

June 24, 2009
11:51 am
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hi Z!! feel the feelings, you will do fine. Heck i have great days, sad days, ok days, fun days, miserable days...i guess its all part of life.

With your friend, do as you are doing, take it slow, stay friends and build up on that relationship part and see how things work.

You will do fine, trust in yourself and know you are doing the right thing!!!

much love, cami

June 24, 2009
11:56 am
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Hi Cami,

Thanks for telling me to feel them; boy am I.

I love you and the furbabies too. Z

June 24, 2009
12:58 pm
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Tb sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with your daughter and what not.

How is everyone today?

June 24, 2009
1:38 pm
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Hi Everybody,

Slept in a bit. Nice for a change,... I think I needed it. I am doing ok this morning. Boy looking at what I wrote yesterday kinda helps.

It is my daughters decision. I dont have to like it. I think she is feeling gulity about making this choice.... Then again maybe not.

I cant change her mind. I tried, I talked to her, and that is all I can do. The rest is up to her.

Thanks again Cami and Z, for all the comforting words , they really help.
Going to see my therapist today so I am sure that will help.

Anyway, how has everybody been since I have been gone.

Z,

Take it slow with the Bf, and take your time. Do things how you need to do them. The love word is a big thing for him to throw out there already.
Enjoy your time together, and see where it takes you.

Cami and Billy..... whats new ?

June 24, 2009
1:46 pm
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billy's back, how have you been buddy!!

TB, yes tt your therapist today, and again, its out of your control and hopefully your daughter will make the best choice for herself. Time will tell.

Me, busy day, my printer broke, took forever to try to fix it and now it works.

This may be silly, but that Newspaper Comapny that hired me back in Feb, has "another" job listing again.....so i put in my resume for it....it seems like they maybe ignoring me,cuz between the 2 job postings...these jobs were "relisted" 4x...and they said they'd keep my resume on file....well, off goes my resume to them... but it can't hurt, i am desperate for a full time job with bennies! so we will see.

Other than that, off to work in a lil' bit.

(((hugs to all)))

June 24, 2009
1:46 pm
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ooh yes, and I have 2 major pet sitting assignments coming up...alot of extra money cuz they want "extra walks" for there dogs, so this help out with the bills :0

June 24, 2009
2:45 pm
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Hi TB: I am so glad you are going to tt to the therapist. I am also glad you slept in; you did need it. You are going to be just fine my friend.
Yes I will take it slow with S. I put my feelings out there and we will see what happens.

Hi Cami: Good Luck with the newspaper company. I know when people say we will keep your application on file; doesn't mean they re-look at them. Good that you re-applied. However long it takes. Good on the extra walks...Yeah

Hey Billy...HI; how you been?

Love, Z

June 24, 2009
4:03 pm
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Hey Cami,

June 24, 2009
4:04 pm
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HI TB!! DID YOU go to therapy yet??

Z...whens your next date with your Friend??

Billy, don't disappear on us!!!

June 24, 2009
4:07 pm
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Opps clicked to fast.

Hey Cami,

why not just call the person that interviewed you at the newsspaper company and remind them you have already interview, tell them the offer you the job and you notice that they had the posting again.

Tell them you have reconsidered and would like the postion. Go at the angle that they would not have to interview anymore... Could work. I think it is a good idea you sent your resume again to them.

Z,

Yes go slow, you are feeling uncomfortable about sharing your feelings because when you did with your ex you would get hurt, one way or another. So talk to your bf, when you feel safe for you to do it. Just tell him your a bit gun shy...

Hope things work out for you with him.. I am happy for you.

June 24, 2009
4:12 pm
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not yet Cami... I will be going in about two hours.

June 24, 2009
4:13 pm
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Yes the amazing disappering Billy.

He vanishes right before your very eyes...

June 24, 2009
4:36 pm
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YEP, Billy shows up, then goes away...busy boy he must be.

Well TB, you seem to be in a lil' better spirits, everything will be fine.....has your daughter tt you today yet?

June 24, 2009
4:38 pm
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TB, keep us posted on how the threapy went and how you are feeling and dealing.

Yes I am very gun shy and I am afraid of him rejecting me. I don't know if he will or not, but I will just sit and wait. He wanted to get together this Friday and I agreed but I am not sure if we still are, after we talked last night he told me to let him know when I wanted to get together. I am thinking that I won't approach him on getting together about Friday and see if he lets me know if he wants to get together or not. Let him make the decision. I did text him this morning and told him that I had feelings for him that I did not know about and that I did not like when he goes out on dates with other women. He hasn't text back and at least I said what I needed to say.

I want to go slow, but I am not going to continue to see him and sleep with him if he only wants to be friends with benefits. I can get that anywhere.

What do you think?

Where or where is Billy.

Cami: I like TB's suggestion about the job.

Love, Z

June 24, 2009
5:01 pm
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I don't even want to do the phone call deal, cuz i tried that b4 and they gave me the sad excuse that they'll keep my resume on "file".....I am just sending out the resume, and if they choose to call, fine, if not then nothing lost on my end.

Z.....have you slept with your guy friend yet???

Didn't you already agree to see him friday??? as long as you feel comfy, just go on a fun date.

Yeah, i can see the part with him dating other gals, sleeping around, etc....but first find out if you want to be exclusive with him, and if he wants to with you.

I know I am rambling...but go with your gut on this one!

June 24, 2009
5:08 pm
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Cami,

After putting the sexual tension off for years and years because I was married and then even after I divorced and it has been another year...we manage to do that last Saturday evening on our camping trip. With family of course.

I did agree to see him on Friday, I don't know if it is still on or if I should even ask him about it?

My gut tells me this is alllllll right but my head is telling me to not lose the friendship, but the line has been crossed.

Do I just ask him if we are being exclusive with each other or did my first message to him about me not likeing him see other women be enough?

I want to know and NOW. Is that code or what.lol

June 24, 2009
5:12 pm
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ok, so you do want to be exclusive with him right? you sent him the email or text i should say...now wait patiently till he responds back, and you could always just mention...."what time are we going out Friday nite?" and see if he responds & remembers about that.

so....Z.......did you or not sleep with him??? i know, i just said it like that, but i couldn't really understand your response, plus I am nosey and will not judge!!!

(((cami)))

June 24, 2009
5:24 pm
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Cami,

Yes I want to be exclusive with him and see where this goes. Yes I slept with him last Saturday night when my entire family and our friends and him were camping. It was comfortable, safe, warm and perfect. He thought so too.

I will wait to see if he respond to my last text about me confessing to my feelings for him. Then ask about Friday night.

Love and Hugs to you, Z

June 24, 2009
5:35 pm
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yay!!

yes, just let him call you now and see if he brings up the text thing. If not you could always ask him if he got the text & talk it over with him. Glad you both are doing well & hopefully will have a great Friday nite date!

love & hugs right back to you sis!

June 24, 2009
5:47 pm
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lol..yeah I was excited that we finally came together and I knew he was.lol

Anyway I am going to let him call me, but this wait and be patient thing is killing me. I want him to call me and tell me something, anything. Code all the way. 🙂

If he doesn't call by Thursday evening, should I call and ask him about Friday? and not say anything about the text?

Thanks for loving me Cami. Z

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