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Mr 22 just drove up..I am freaking out!!
August 21, 2006
12:28 am
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Soulsister
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My stomach is in knots..I thought maybe it was his frined with his truck. I walked outside..and he waled up my walk. Gave me a big hug..and said he got back this morning. He said his head is all messed up..and has wanted to call me all day. He said his tripp..the whole thing was F-d..and he doesn't know what to do!! OMG..he is coming back to talk to me in a little while

Love SOulsister

August 21, 2006
12:51 am
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sdesigns
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OMG Soul!!!! Please keep your distance and protect your precious heart. Listen to him- fine- but don't try and solve his problem. Geez- he went ahead and married her- and thats a mess he has to handle. Don't get involved in that. Try to keep him at arms length at least. I know how much he means to you but he's MARRIED now. Be careful!!!

SD

August 21, 2006
1:49 am
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lightchaser
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Soul: I am thinking of you. Don't let that boy back in your heart or your bed!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!

Please,please,please

He made his choice and unless he goes somewhere right now and gets this thing annulled, then make himlie in that bed he made himself. anywhere but in your bed and your precious heart.

He doesn't deserve you. He is a sweet boy and a friend, but he has to stay that way when he is married. Don't let him turn you into the other woman. you are so much better than that, honey.

I am prayin for you!!!!! I love you!!
Light

August 21, 2006
3:11 am
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Soulsister
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Light..Sd..chinita..you up? Probably not...its 12:00..he just left..god, I'm bawling..

August 21, 2006
3:40 am
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doubleloss
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i'm up if you like to talk

August 21, 2006
4:04 am
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Soulsister
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Oh thank you..Doubleloss..

I guess, I didn't realize how much I cared about this person unitl I saw him again..and he hugged and kissed me..now, he's gone again..and I'm left broken hearted..and alone..

August 21, 2006
4:07 am
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Soulsister
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I'm going to sleep...

Love Soul

August 21, 2006
8:06 am
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mamacinnamon
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Soul:

YOU stand your ground on this honey. Listen to logic and not your head or your heart; they will both lie to you. I totally agree w/ the others. He made his bed and he must lie in it, NOT yours. You hang tough and know you can always come here.

August 21, 2006
8:10 am
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lightchaser
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Pour your heart out today if you want honey. Of course you still feel something for him, feelings just don't go away in a week. Let us know how you are.

Love, Light

August 21, 2006
8:12 am
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sleepless in uk
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Ah Soul....I understand how difficult this is for you. Imnot gonna give you any advice except to say look out for YOU...just you.

take care

love sleepless

August 21, 2006
10:34 am
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Soulsister
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GOd...I was doing so good. I'm so upset he came over..and was happy at the same time. False hope..in my head..that's for sure.

He came back..and we talked a little in my livingroom. I asked him about alaska. He just told me the only two days SHE had off were the day they got married and the day after. His friends up there weren't around. He lost the boxing fight. He got a black eye for his wedding ..and pictures. He said, he didn't know what she was thinking..that nothing feels different then it did before and wondered if she thought marriage ws going to change things. He said, he's here..alone..and she is there. Just like before. I asked him if she was coming back here in Sept. He said yes. I asked him why he was here, he kept saying he didn't know. I asked him waht was going on in his head..he said he didn't know. He was affectionate..on and off during this conv. hugs..a kiss or to. GOD!! Why do kisses feel like that..when everything is SO WRONG?

We were both tired..and decided he was going to stay. Talked in my room for a while. Messed around a little. Nothing too much. He kept asking me what was wrong? That I seemed different. He kept saying, maybe he shouldn't have come over. Maybe he should leave. I didn't want him too. I went to the restroom and he was getting his stuff ready to leave. I was crushed. WHY? He said he didn't feel right staying here..and he was sorry. He should have left me alone. He asked if I would be upset? I said YES!! He has never EVER left..he has always stayed..and god it was so nice to have him kissing me again. I shut the light off. He said turn the light on. I said no. I was going to cry. He knew it. He layed down on the bed and told me again he was sorry, and maybe he should say goodbye..AGAIN..and just leave me alone.

I walked him to his truck. He kissed and hugged me goodbye..and left. That is when I came in..and posted..bawling. I guess, I didn't realize how much I cared for him..and enjoyed being with him. I called him..He asked if I was ok..I don't even remember what I said..yes..no?? I can't remember. I just sat there..finally he said well, I'll talk to you later...ok? I went to sleep. I jsut don't even know how I feel today..or what my next move should be. I was doing just fine..and now I'm a mess. A fucking...numb...confused mess. How can people get in our hearts..and then no one else feels right. NO ONE!

August 21, 2006
10:40 am
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sleepless in uk
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Oh Soul I am so sorry he is hurting you like this.

You gotta let him go love. Dont let him do this to you. I know how lonely you are and how good he can make you feel but he is making you feel so bad and you are worth so much more.

take care of yourself. Do you have a girlfriend you can call and ask over?

August 21, 2006
10:49 am
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2bstrong
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Yikes! Soulsister!!!!!!

First of all--is it an omen that he had a black eye for his wedding photos? Why didn't he have the courage to tell his bride that he wasn't ready to get married? Yet, he has the courage to tell you that he is confused? I don't understand. He shouldn't have gotten married, that's obvious, but as sd said, you cannot solve his problems/confusion.

I am so sorry you are involved in this drama. If only love could be simple and uncomplicated.

((((((soulsister))))) love to you....

August 21, 2006
11:04 am
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Soulsister
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2B and Sleepless..

Thanks for listening. I'm very confused right now. Want to call him..but know I shouldn't. I don't even know what I'd say anyway. I guess, I'm just wishing so bad..that he would say "I love you" or something and I know that's not going to happen. He had asked me If I had missed him..and of course, I said yes. I asked him if he missed me he said "I'm here aren't I" I guess, that's sorta avoiding the question..with a question. How did what I thought would be a one nigth stand..turn into this?? Really, I have no idea..what the heck happened and how this young man got so deeply in my heart...as hard as I tried to stop it!!!

August 21, 2006
11:10 am
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sleepless in uk
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Hey little soul...thats the trouble with one night stands. When you are in a vulnerable place itis difficult not to get attached to someone who makes you feel good.

take care, here if you want to scream

x

August 21, 2006
11:18 am
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2bstrong
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Sleepless that is hilarious.

SS--He obviously didn't think that the one-night-stand would turn into this either. But I think everyone has probably already said this--he wasn't all there for his bride to be in the first place. He probably hasn't wanted to get married for a while. He needs to get some balls and be honest with his wife and tell her what's going on. If it's like this during the "honeymoon" phase--jeez- what's it going to turn into.

God, soul. Even I feel punched in the stomach right now.

August 21, 2006
11:19 am
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sleepless in uk
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yeah 2b...thats how I feel too

August 21, 2006
11:31 am
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Soulsister
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I really didn't realize how strong my feelings were ntil he drove up..I really thought it was his friend in his truck..and when he walked up..it was like "oh my god" I didn't sleep with him..but I did enough to have been left feeling a bit used. I've never felt this way..about thim..probably because he has never left after anything before.I can believe how RIGHT everyone was. THat I hadn't heard the last from him. I really thought, since I hadn't heard from him since he left..that whe he saw her he may have found the answers. Apparently, he didn't find the answers he was looking for or he wouldn't have thought about me as soon as he got to town..and he wouldn't have kissed me..and messed around. WHen I got married. "I KNEW" that day.. that I was in love..and I thought maybe his weeding and seeing her..would give him that feeling. I am absolutely shocked..at the fact that he came by and wanted to be with me. I'm still trying to sort it all out in my head. Was it just the physicla thing..that he wants with me..or does he have feelings. After last night, I'm not sure..and that leave me so very hurt..because of my feelings for him. I think he feels he made a huge msitake coming here..and reopening the door..I don't know..I'm so confused.

August 21, 2006
11:41 am
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Soulsister
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You know..I was jsut thinking..about the title of Chinitas and Light's thread. I am wondering that..esact question

"jsut sex, or is it more?"

Do I ask him this question?? I guess, I want to know.

Soul

August 21, 2006
11:42 am
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sleepless in uk
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I think he is probably very confused too.

He is very young and probably struggling with all the stuff going on. It is clear that he has feelings for you but is probably finding it difficult to understand them..

on the other hand he could just be a big jerk.....

either way you deserve someone much better little soul

August 21, 2006
11:50 am
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Soulsister
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Thanx Sleepless..

He is just all of the things I've always wanted in someone and instead..have always been with the nonworking druggies..who never did anything for me, or ever made me feel that good about myself. You know..he was alwyas trying to convince me..I was worthy of so much more. Even though, he couldn't give it to me..he really tried to instill that in me. If that was even the workd I was looking for?? He worded..owned his own home..an old muscle car..wined and dined me..said all the righ things..came and did nice things for me..even thought he didn;t have to. It just leaves me feeling, that I was so close to having someone with all of those qualities..and someone else "her" will be the one..who get's to be with him. Not me..then I have to remember..how much older than him..I am..and should stop all of this..even if he tries to continue...but when he was in front of me..I just wanted to be with him..so bad..and really missed him.

I'm just going on and on...sorry..

August 21, 2006
1:15 pm
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sleepless in uk
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hey dont ever say sorry to me for talking.....

August 21, 2006
3:21 pm
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Soulsister
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(((Sleepless)))

How are you doing these days?? I've been sticking to just two threads.."darn dating" and "just sex, or is it more."

i'm holding an 8 week old baby boy right now. i have to type 1 handed..lol..he's precious. he is the one thing distracting me from my "life". i just started taking care of him today. his 1st day 🙂

i've wanted to contact mr 22..but keep thinking, but why?

August 21, 2006
3:38 pm
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chinita
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(((Soul))) I'm just checking on u. I'm worried!!!

I'll post here also but go home and check I posted there too.

Soul what can I say? not too much but u really need to do something about this situation. You don't intentionly do this to hurt yourself but your going with your feelings and heart. Sometimes it's good but sometimes it's bad. Reality Soul!!!

If he was really not happy or not sure about getting married he wouldn't of gone threw with it, right??? Now if he just did it just to do it that's not right. He sounds very unsure of himself and doesn't even know what direction he's headed. Basically very unstable Soul. Don't keep hurting yourself.

Remember once I told u, time alone is good to find yourself and that time alone also heals, but u need enough time alone to heal that heart.

Soul it's hard but I'm here know matter what u do.

Love China

August 21, 2006
3:53 pm
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sdesigns
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Soul: I know you are over the moon about this guy- but he's married. He committed to someone else. And now that he's done that- he's back - right away- fooling around on her.

Please try to keep this in perspective. I am sure he has all of those good qualities you listed- but this is a bad trait- cheating on the new wife. It was bad enough when he was engaged- but now he's married. He took vows- that he is already breaking.

He knows you will be there for him- but there for what? He can offer you nothing at this point. If he didn't want to get married, he should have gathered the strength to say no, and not go thru w/ it. It doesn't show a strength of character on his part, on many levels. If he cared that much about you, he wouldn't have married someone else. Please don't be his safe haven.

Soul, you are going to get hurt even more than you are now. He's trouble.

Love ya, SD

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