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moving on but, one last issue to resolve?
February 6, 2007
7:34 pm
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kureocity
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September 24, 2010
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Hi.
Been a while since I was last on, early December I think. Grateful for the comments I received here and the time people took to write them. Whenever my mind wanders back to the ex, I think of your words and it brings me back to reality. Again, thank you.
I have one issue with her that still bothers me and I think if I get clarification, I'll finally have closure. I asked back when we first broke up, (not my idea) if there was any chance of getting back together again. She said she didn't know and gave the same answer the next time I asked. Should I let it go or ask her to be honest and answer? By her response, seems she wants me to hang on,(control thing?? or doesn't want to hurt my feelings?
Someone else came into my life last month. She's a really nice person, but moving just a bit too fast. I let her know where I stand at this point in my life. She claims to understand, but still pushes for more: how do you feel about me? what do you think? etc.etc.etc. and this after only having gone skating and had supper together twice!! Again, the comments I received here have guided me through this too, specifically the woman who said, "how can you expect to live with someone else if you aren't comfortable living with yourself?" and "you don't define who you are based on your relationship". I'll always be grateful for how a few strangers helped me through a rough patch.
warmest thanks, K

February 6, 2007
8:12 pm
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truthBtold
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September 27, 2010
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kureocity,

I would say that you need to let go of your ex.

You asked her twice.

Get the closure you need to put this chapter to rest so that you can move on. Maybe consider writing her a letter or email of something expressing your feelings and that you moving on.

New girlfriend sounds a bit insecure and needy from your post.

Maybe just take some time for yourself to do some stuff that you find enjoyable for the time being.

Glad that you find comfort here as so many of us have.

Take Care.

February 6, 2007
8:27 pm
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turnabout
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Why did you start seeing the new girl?

The ex ... I don't know what she wants out of the deal, but her vague answers are definitely stringing you along, which just isn't fair or nice (even if an attempt at being nice is behind their vagueness). If you pressed her for a straight answer, there's no guarantee she'd give it, and there you'd be, still investing energy in her .. for what?

You've made your heart known to her. She's aware that you'd be interested in getting back together. Now ... YOU are worth coming after. Let her. If she wants you, she will.

February 6, 2007
10:27 pm
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kureocity
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thanks tBt, turn. You're both so very right; have come to realize I was lacking self-respect. Two years ago, I would have ignored what you said....Been letting go of the ex since end of November. It gets easier, but you slip into reverie once in a while. Focus now is on friends, family etc.
As far as a new girlfriend goes.....well she isn't at this point, nor do I see it in the near future. She approached me at a dance, we exchanged numbers, went out twice and basically just talked. She came out of a 26 year relationship last June, so maybe she is, "needy" or misses having someone to live with. Either way, I've told her where I stand, come what may.
Thank you both and take care, K !

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