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Moving on and the lonely fear part - how to cope
September 17, 2009
12:45 am
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bblue
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September 24, 2010
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I have been here before - this site - married to a gambler - started with that getting me here - but has come down to he always has an addiction - booze, gambling.

Any way as I get onward with moving on - splitting up etc how do you over come the fear of finally being alone.

Maybe I make too much of this or read too much in. Even my very supportive friends do not include me in their plans - as I am not a couple.

I know everyones lives are busy and my friends say call but why do I always feel like I am the one calling.

Anyway any comments welcome

BBlue

September 17, 2009
9:31 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Bblue, I hear you and I understand. I have been alone a while now. It is hard to be the lone female. Somehow they feel sorry for and include the lone male or he can just go hang out in a sports bar and watch the game. It is harder on females. I don't know why and don't understand it. Only recently have I gotten to the point it doesn't bother me as much. There is a really nice wine shop with a wine bar in town. I went there by myself recently. One of the things I really enjoyed was going out for a nice meal in a nice restaurant. I have lost that for now. I could still go but it just isn't as fun by yourself. Do things just for you. Today at 11 am even though I probably shouldn't/can't afford it, I am going for a facial. I have started doing those selfish little things for me. On Monday I went to a dinner sponsored by a local chiroproactor, not so much because I was interested in their program but to just be around others. Sat at a table with a total stranger and got to know her. I have started going to Celebrate Recovery (I talk about it on the other side). Do some of those things just for you. Even if all it is is a $10 cheapy manicure at Wal-Mart. Someone else is touching your hands. I know a long time ago I posted that I started crying during a manicure because another human was touching me. Don't underestimate the power of a good massage. Maybe you live near a massage school and can get an inexpensive massage. Just some thoughts on what has worked for me.

Bitsy

September 17, 2009
10:33 am
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Terriberry
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((Bblue)),

I understand too. I went through that for a while myself. It doesnt feel good. I agree with Bisty do something for you. What do you like to do?
Do you have a favorite hobby? Is there something you always wanted to do but never did because somebody or something held you back. Now is the time to try it. Just getting out and being with other people will help.

Attending a support group, go to church, join an execrise club.

Keep on posting and talking through all of your emotions on this site.
You will find you will get the encourgement you need. Great suggestions, and just people who will listen and have been there too. Not to mention you'll meet a lot of great freinds.

Praying the best for you,
tb

September 24, 2009
3:10 pm
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bblue
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Thanks girls
not sure what I have time to do - I have a very busy work life right now.
If I could afford I would love to go back to school but alas not in the cards anytime soon.

I know the first thing on my list is to clean up my house - the mess in all the spare rooms are just like my life only the most obvious path is somewhat clear the rest is a muddle.

I try to get out every once in awhile I just hate always calling.

BBlue

September 24, 2009
4:28 pm
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First off, clean your kitchen sink. From their it gets easier. Go to Flylady.net for the next step and no we are not a cult and we are not Stepford Wives.

Bitsy

September 24, 2009
10:42 pm
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bblue
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My kitchen sink is always clean Bitsy - its the spare room and the office -where you can shut the door and ignore for awhile. Seems I handle my life like that sometimes

BBlue

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