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mosher1 is back...1000 times worse
February 24, 2005
1:58 pm
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mosher1yr
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you ever want life to end. i feel that today all i see around me is happy people and i dont want to be around happy people. all i listen to is unhappy songs all i want to watch is unhappy stuff i cant thinhk of beign happy where are you guys......help please.............i want to stop crying I HATE IT

February 24, 2005
2:02 pm
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CAMER
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give yourself a (((hug)))) take some deep breaths and try to stay calm...things will be ok, these are just feelings that are going thru your mind now. Take a walk, and breathe in the fresh air....hope you are doing ok.

February 24, 2005
2:09 pm
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babybooboo
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just you cry until the tears run out. They will. I know exactly what you mean when everybody's all smiling, laughing and talking about there old & new love. and your just sitting there like... wthell. Don't anybody notice my lack of joy here. But that never happens they just keep on talking working your last nerve. just go outside and scream or burry your face into a pillow and do it. That's what I've been doing. screaming, crying, kicking sh*t. But I know misery luvs company so I don't hang around people who are having the same thoughts as me. It just wont work out that way... we'd come up with something terrible to do Im sure. so just hang in there. When they are full of cheer. just exhale & keep it moving. maybe they'll get the hint.

February 24, 2005
2:12 pm
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I have gone through the same feelings; when it's still raw, and nothing seems to make sense. It feels like a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions right now. It's a natural thought to want it all to go away. It DOES get better. It may take time, but you know this already, and you will be amazed at your own inner strength. It is in there-you will find it..
If I was there I would give you a big hug..

~charlie~

February 24, 2005
2:13 pm
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dmurphy
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Mosher,

Talk to someone. A school counselor, clergy, someone anyone. You need to talk to someone who can help you. Do not sit around and let this hurt you. You need to find someone who you can talk to and get the hurt out.

February 24, 2005
2:23 pm
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addicts wife
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hi Mosher...
I am hee, took a break to throw some food in my face....
so many of us have felt these things that you are feeling and going through, It may feel like you are the only one ever to feel this badly, but Please know this WILL stop.
g oahead and cry til your all dried up, adn let yourself rest.
Allow yourself to feel this so you can let it go, please know there are people that care about you, and keep reaching out to those who care about you. I hate to use a cliche on you when your feeling this way, but "this too shall pass"
Hang in there, hun.

February 24, 2005
2:25 pm
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mosher1yr
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I want to hide but then again i want to run, i want to scream but then again sit in the corner of silence, i want to cry but am trying all to laugh..but it hurts. I want so bad for her to just call and say im sorry.....becuase i know i am. the other day i got off the phone with her and i just started to cry so i went running, i went running for 3 n a half hours. I want to be done crying so they all quite looking at me i want to be back with her so i can be happy, she was my first love yea but i wanted her to be my first and last....will i ever get a chance a month from now 2 months a year what is going to happen with us somebody help me please. I dont want to talk to any counselors because they have to contact my parents and their not very lovey dovey with me, specialy my mom, maybe thats why i held on so tight to her because i begged for a relationship with a girl. but i love her does she still love me? what is she thinking? somebody answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!anybody

February 24, 2005
2:29 pm
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In love, as in life, there are no crystal balls. But there is always hope for the future. Just don't cling to it, so that IF things don't go your way, you will still be okay. Whatever she is thinking, from now on, you will always be a part of her thoughts.

~charlie~

February 24, 2005
2:30 pm
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GullyFoyle
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Mosher

Focus. How old are you"

Gully

February 24, 2005
2:36 pm
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addicts wife
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Mosher.....
Like Gully suggested... FOCUS, as difficult as that may seem right now it is NOT impossible, and yes, there is hope for the future, but like Charlie said Dont cling to it.
I am sorry your parents arent very supportive, adn that you feel like you can not talk to someone.
Why would a counselor need ot contactyour parents??/ ISnt here a confidentiality law where you are???

February 24, 2005
2:46 pm
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mosher1yr
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Im 18 and I go to school thiese past few days all i have done is just go to the library get on this site and just talk to you guys because you guys are the only ones that listens and understands and sometimes i feel like you guys are the only ones that care, i know that i am only 18 and i have so many other beautiful girls out their to go after but you have no idea how beautiful she is theirs not a word invented out their that can discribe how beautiful she is, whatever you think she looks like she is even better, i always you to ask her if it hurt....when she feel from heaven!!! hahah. i can always smile about the good things but its the bad things that get me and i start shaking and crying and i just want to scream but since i am at school i dont talk, today i have not said a word to anybody, luckly she does not go to my school or i would not come, guys i miss her why cant she see that

February 24, 2005
2:49 pm
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GullyFoyle
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So, is it college or high school?

February 24, 2005
2:49 pm
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mosher1yr
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highschool.... if it was college i would have left for the day but here i cant

February 24, 2005
2:57 pm
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GullyFoyle
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Yeah, that's tough. High School. My first love happened there too.

I'm 46. And you know, we have a lot in common.

February 24, 2005
3:07 pm
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GullyFoyle
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According to the book, you supposed to say, oh really, just what would WE have in common?

February 24, 2005
3:19 pm
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addicts wife
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oh Mosher...
I know those shakes, and being overwhelmed by the pain of a loss.
I know also how it feels to feel like no one cares, or that "fair weather friends" are no where to be found when things get ugly.....
im glad you found us here, as I am glad i found everyone here, but I also have been persistant and probably forced myself on some people wehn I really needed ot reach out.
sometimes you can be really surprized at who shows up there for you, when you least expect it.
I know how others happiness, and laughter feels like razor blades when you are in pain,and how when you break up wit hsomeoneal you seem to see are couples everywhere making you wanna puke or kick them in the shins, but iswear it ca nget better, im not guaranteeing that this will never happen again. Im now 33, andIt's happened a few times.Butsoehow I was able to move on, andgrow from things, andsnap myself out all my depressions, i Jsut had a pretty major episode myself duringthe past 4 days... And somehowtoday I was able to see the sunshine and not go hide in the darkenss like a vampire.
Hang in there, sweetie.

February 24, 2005
3:19 pm
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woundedspirit
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I want to cry with you I can feel your pain so intensly. and Im in the same boat as far as how you are feeling about her. Im going through the same with my ex. He has me blocked. Wont talk to me. You know my story. Im actually in your girlfriends shoes. but then again...he also put me in YOUR shoes by the way he is treating me now and not wanting to talk to me. I feel taht Im getting hit from both ends. Your gf is so lucky you love her so much and enough to care about her and her feelings and want to make it right!! Mine chose the opposite road. I also just want to cry. You dont realize this but you have given me hope and some happy thoughts just realizing there are guys out there like you who really do want to do the right thing and take accountability for your mistakes and make it right. Im so sorry your still going through so much hurt. that totally sucks! I hope with alittle time she will see your sincerity and trust you to give you that fresh chance. If not, please dont give up on love! I know there will be women out there who will really appreciate that quality and other good qualities in you.

February 24, 2005
3:46 pm
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GullyFoyle
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We just feel this shit more than other guys, I think. That's good. It's not weak. Hell, a pretty picture can make me cry.

You have tons of stuff ahead of you. I mean, really great stuff. Adventure, love, jealousy, regret, all that shit.

What you need is a hug from a friend.

I was a deputy sheriff for several years. These are tough guys. Good guys. You know, John Wayne, cause you are by yourself against it all. And none of these guys were ashamed to cry. After a bad situation, and there were many, we would hang onto each other. And if you were to dare call them weak because of it, they would kick your ass. Sure there were some that didn't do that. I felt sorry for them. It's tough holding it all inside.

When I broke with my HS GF, she broke with me actually, my folks were sympathetic. Dad gave me the old, more fish in the sea, talk. I didn't want to hear it, I was in such pain. But the pain goes away.

What I am trying to say, Mosher, is that it will be okay.

I wish I was better at this.

Gully

February 24, 2005
4:06 pm
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addicts wife
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Gully
You ROCK!!!
I wish my husband were more capableof crying. ive seen it a couple times, but whatever......
Mosher, I swear there is more to you than what is going on this week...
Before ya' know it, you'll be sweatin your ass off fro mthe summer heat... well If you dont live in alaska or something, but as much as you cant see past what is going on right now, the pain does go away....
Hang i nthere

February 25, 2005
1:20 am
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addicts wife
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mosher.... just checkin in with U to see how youre doin??????
HAPPY FRIDAY.. today Is another day, and you made it, hun!!!!!!!!

February 25, 2005
1:26 am
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SweetAmanda
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When it gets really really bad, remind yourself to breathe. That's all. That will be enough to get you through today, I promise. (((Hugs)))

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