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Monday night crew
September 13, 2005
12:17 am
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exoticflower
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Hi Ella...in sort of a funk right now and don't want to rub off, but wanted to shoot you a big hug (((((ella)))))), always so nice to see you! Hugs, ef

September 13, 2005
12:21 am
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Neshema
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first he calls my land line, i was on another call...didnt answer..then my cell...didn't answer..wants to know if I am screening my calls. then i finally call back, and he was sort of falling asleep, but wants to talk, even tho I say let's talk later, no he wants to talk, so we start talking, saying nothing of substance after he has been out of town for several days, but then he wants to hang up and go to sleep. Then his battery dies, so I call back his other phone and said, did you hang up? He says of course not (which he wouldn't do), but he didn;t call back thought we were done. So, then we talk some more, and I am just really annoyed, cuz we never see each other, but I didn't tell him I was annoyed. But he says when we are done with the promotion we are gonna go get drunk...well, funny thing is he knows I don't drink. I said I am like 100 lbs cuz he hasn't fed me in a month. Whatever...this is not meeting my needs.

September 13, 2005
1:06 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hi all:

Looks busy, got room for one more?

September 13, 2005
1:19 am
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Neshema
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of course!

September 13, 2005
1:24 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hi Nesh:

I am totally exhausted. We had science projects to finish tonight so another mom and I worked w/ the girls at my house till 10:45p.

The boy from across the street came over. Party at the house and half the folks are drunk. Told him he could stay. The non step dad gets drunk and smacks on him. Poor kid. So, he stayed awhile. Wouldn't eat dinner and hadn't had anything. You could just see the knots in his stomach showing thru his face.

September 13, 2005
1:31 am
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Neshema
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awwww, poor kid. I am glad he has a safe place to go. You are such a good person. Thank you for taking care of people.

September 13, 2005
1:39 am
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mamacinnamon
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Oh Nesh I try. It's so sad and heartbreaking. Do you know today when Jigs and I were planning her birthday party, couldn't get a surprise one in she was just so insistent on having one and helping, that she told me this is gonna be her very first birthday party ever. Broke my heart. What is wrong w/ parents that they cannot even take time to give a child a birthday party? I have a friend and her first birthday party was when she was in her early 20s. I just cannot imagine. But, Jigs is sooo excited. I think she'll bust before Thursday.

September 13, 2005
1:50 am
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Neshema
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Mamac-

I almost contacted my ex-bf last night, the one who is an ACOA. His parents were drunk since he was 5. He basically never had parents. I miss him so much it hurts.

September 13, 2005
1:56 am
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mamacinnamon
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I don't know if you read my thread "What's a mom to do?" but it's coz my son is back into smokin pot. All hell broke loose this afn.
I think my oldest daughter called me first. Fiance came back to the apt and told my son to get out. He has not worked for 2 months (i didn't know that) and she's working 2 jobs. He's partying w/ his buds all the time. (that I knew). So she took a stand. But, my oldest was livid coz fiance called the evil x and he was on his way to my oldest's apt where my son was. She called my son and told him to get outta there. My oldest has not spoken to her biodad for probably 6-7 years and she's terrified of him. His fault.

I talked to my son. I could not believe out of my mouth comes "if you need a place to stay you can come stay w/ me but no no no drugs and you will get a job. We talked. I then called fiance and she said she wanted back the key to the apt and her bank card and the engagement ring he gave to her so she was keeping it. She made half the payments (i made one also). So I finally get my son and he says he'll give her back the key and bank card as soon as she gives him the ring. Outta my mouth comes " don't act like your dad". lol. I said those are her things and you have no right to hold anything over anyone's head. That's evil and abusive and just plain rude. I told him to give them to his sis and she would return them coz he obviously isn't thinkin w/ his head and he doesn't need to be around her.

Well, in the end he has decided to move in w/ C&C, druggies that also hate the fiance. If they decide to play tricks on her I'm gonna have my boot upside somebody's behind before they know i'm there. I hate this behavior w/ a passion.

But hey, he did give her stuff back. He does still listen somewhat. Fiance and I talked and she said mama2 I left and cried, I left and cried, and this time I don't even care. lol. Told her she just reached the next level and decided to take no more. Good for her.

I love my son, but my son is so dead wrong here. Hubby went off the deep end also, I was shocked but he said tell him he can move home. (total shock) He was so livid tonight, hubby. He says he's not gona turn around and I know where he is goin. I told hubby to go get in his face and tell him what reality is. What prison is like and what the lifestyle is like and just get in his face and let him have it. Maybe that will turn him around, but ya know.. it won't.

To bad the evil x thought it funny to purposely teach this child wrong just because I tried to raise him in the church and to love God. I mean when my son got in trouble the evil x bailed him out every time. When the evil x got pissed at my son he's have him taken to the mental hospital for drugs. Not sayin he couldn't have benefited from it, but it was done from anger and my son knew it. Amazing how my evil x put the kid in the hospital and in military school and I had full custody. These institutions just don't care? or look? They sure kissed up when I walked in w/ divorce papers and custody highlited. But, the damage was done and the evil x has created a little monster. (20 yr old monster).

Oh, didn't mean to ramble on. I don't usually talk on my stuff. Just today I think got me.

Thanks for listening.

September 13, 2005
2:00 am
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mamacinnamon
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Nesh:

I'm sorry you miss him. That's sad his folks bein drunk for most of his life. Was he just cast aside like most these other kids?

How's your mom?

How's the promotion thingie goin?

September 13, 2005
2:12 am
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Neshema
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Mamac

sorry to hear about your son, but you KNOW you are doing the right thing! You cannot enable or condone that behavior. You cannot support the drugs, or treating a woman like that. So, you did good. I suspect it is tough when it is your kid.

I didnt talk to my mom today. I actually think i just finished my promotion document. Scroll up and you will see about my conversation with my guy with intimacy issues. He is really starting to get to me. I turned my instant messenger off, so he can't spy on me.

Yeah, i miss the old bf so much. I can't contact him, i guess. I suppose if he wanted to talk to me and go back on his meds, he would call me. Who knows. He did email me about a month ago, and I never wrote back. I didn't know what to say. He needs to go back on his meds. That guy and this current one are the two guys I have had the best intellectual connections with, but they both have big issues that create huge roadblocks. I feel so lonely.

September 13, 2005
2:23 am
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mamacinnamon
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how far up? I went up but must have missed it. Can you tell me how it starts?

September 13, 2005
2:27 am
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Neshema
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about 10 messages up

September 13, 2005
2:32 am
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mamacinnamon
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Nesh:

I apologize but I will have to come back to it later. Jigs is up w/ nightmares so I need to spend some time w/ her. We gotta rock in the rockin chair and talk for awhile. I'll be back. If you need to get some sleep before then sleep well and I will get back and read.

September 13, 2005
2:35 am
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Neshema
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no problem

September 13, 2005
2:43 am
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mamacinnamon
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Nesh: I went ahead and read. He just don't get is does he? Where do you want to go from here or are you gonna sleep on it abit

September 13, 2005
2:46 am
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cpt1212
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Hello everyone. Nesh and Mama you both sound so frustrated tonight.

September 13, 2005
2:51 am
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mamacinnamon
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HI CPT. I thnk you come in later and later each night. lol

September 13, 2005
2:52 am
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cpt1212
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I have trying to get somethings done in the evening after work and trying to get to bed earlier. I just want to stop and say a quick hello.

How is jigs doing?

September 13, 2005
3:13 am
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EF- got distracted for a few hours! I'm sure you are asleep with the rest of the sane world.

hugs right back at you!

love,
ella

September 13, 2005
3:23 am
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Neshema
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I finished my promotion document! I THINK...I turned it in (emailed it) for feedback. I cant believe it! My hands are so sore!

Well, my guy also is up for promotion..his is tenure (I already have my tenure..so the stakes are very high for him, cuz no tenure and u get fired). When I was up for tenure, I never dated anyone. So, he reminded me of that, but i wonder if he is using it as an excuse. I just think if I already had someone when I was going for tenure, I would be sure to let them know I dont want to lose them. On the other hand, he is a guy and I am a woman. We are different species.

Same time, I am missing the ex bf, the ACOA, but if I had to choose between the two, I would pick the current guy, I think.

September 13, 2005
3:30 am
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Neshema
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did u all leave me? I feel abandoned.

September 13, 2005
4:09 am
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Hi Neshema,

I'm fading fast but congratulations.

Don't you love a feeling of completion?

What does this promotion mean for you...? I haven't been reading threads much lately.

-ella

September 13, 2005
4:21 am
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Neshema
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glory, money, the gold medal of my career...nothing much really, just what i always wanted, but want my soulmate more.

September 13, 2005
4:38 am
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Neshema
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i cant get the support i need tonight. see ya.

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