Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
missed you all so much gettingthere
August 7, 2006
6:30 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi to everyone i missed you all so much
now back will tell you all whats been goin
on ...........GT x

August 9, 2006
12:31 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Nice to see you back. 🙂

August 9, 2006
6:47 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((welcome back!!!))) whats goin on?????

August 13, 2006
3:56 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi well not so good firstly im so sorry to everyone whom i was talking to at the time i was here last two momths ago but my laptop went wrong and the shop took it back to mend it and it took them eight weeks...................secondly i have just found out some terrible stuff about my ex dont no how too deal with it GT

August 17, 2006
11:33 pm
Avatar
persistance
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Tell us what happened we are always here. Share

August 18, 2006
2:17 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi thankyou for asking,
i have very recently found out from my daughter who is eighteen,that my ex husband sexually abused her when she was seven,
i dont know how the hell i did not no how the hell could i not no something as terrible as that going on ,,,every one knew what a ###### he was but to find this out ten years later has knocked me backwards,and we were all doing so well after he left 5years ago he has reared his ugly head to us yet once again........GT

August 18, 2006
2:38 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am so sorry to hear that your daughter has been traumatized.Do not beat yourself up though over not knowing.My mother-in-law went through this years ago with my husband and 3 of his 4 siblings.She married my father-in-law and was married for 8 1/2 years,and only after she moved all 5 kids clear across the country with no contact from him,did they feel safe enough to share what was going on right under her nose.No mother wants to believe the man they once loved hurts children.My father-in-law beat and molested my husband and 2 brother-in-law's from as far back as they could remember until the divorce.My older sis-in-law was also molested by him.The only child he did not touch was the youngest daughter,probably because her attachment to her mother kept her out of harm's reach.My husband and his brothers were trained and threatened to say their black eyes,broken bones,and split lips were from fighting with eachother.When they were molested,they said nothing because they knew what would happen if he got a hold of them.I have no doubts whatsoever he would have killed all of them to protect his dirty little secret.My husband is now a BPD in therpay and on meds,my brother-in-law's have devoted their lives to religion after years of wild teenage rebellion(car stealing,theft,etc...),and my older sis-in-law got the real short end of the stick being one of the most severe cases of bi-polar and schizophrenia her doctor has ever seen.She had her children taken away for medical and physical neglect and abuse.She honestly rationalized she has done nothing wrong because that's what happened to her when her dad was around.Be strong,and feel a sense of relief you were finally told,if at all possible.It is important to get therapy,and talk this out with a certified therapist.Now that your daughter is 18,she does not have to maintain a relationship with him if she doesn't wish to,and you don't ever have to see him,or talk to him again either if you don't need to.Blessing and Prayers to you both,P.O'd

August 18, 2006
3:36 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

P.O'd
thankyou so mch for your reply that means alot to me right now..............GT

August 20, 2006
7:17 am
Avatar
sleepless in uk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ah GT I am so sorry for your problems. You know I am here...have missed you

love sleepless

August 20, 2006
8:19 am
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Dear gettingthere,

Sometimes I see a devastating thread with little response and I wonder why. I really just think it has to be timing and circumstances.

I feel so sad for you finding this out and the not knowing and aching for not having been able to protect your daughter. Our son was dating a sweet girl in high school who at 16 reported her step-father for abuse. She wanted to protect her little sisters from him. Her mother ended up divorcing him. We didn't know the family very well, but I still see that girl sometimes and I still am so impressed with her.

Please don't beat yourself up over not knowing about this at the time.

Be grateful you are no longer IN that situation. First and foremost. Be so proud of that fact.

Help your daughter work through her feelings as best you can. If she is accusing you and making you feel guilty, just listen and acknowledge those feelings. Go to counseling with her if you can. Remember you were also a victim and loved and trusted him yourself.

Let her know how proud you are of her for being able to tell you now. All you can do now is love her.

Great caring coming towards you, < <>>

August 20, 2006
8:26 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You may BOTH benefit from some counseling for this situation. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.

- Strong

August 20, 2006
8:31 am
Avatar
startingover
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm glad you're back.

Counseling would really help both of you, I hope you consider it. We are always here, too.

Sorry the response to your thread was slow, not many people are on the weekends.

SO

August 20, 2006
9:02 am
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((GT)))

You are in my daily thoughts and prayers!!! XOXOXO

August 20, 2006
9:13 am
Avatar
bonita1
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

getting there,

I am so sorry, hon for what you are going through now. I went through something similar, too, when my daughter disclosed that her bio-dad, who was also my husband at the time, had been sexually molesting her for years and years.

I never knew. Just like somebody posted, "everybody in the family knew he was an a**hole and they couldn't stand him but I never ever thought that he would do such a thing. He had perfected his outer persona of a righteous, upright pillar of the church & community. He was full of sh*t. But I never knew and I have beaten myself up over that. Now I am struggling to let go of the guilt. It doesn't belong to me. It only belongs to my ex-husband because he's the one who did the molesting, not me.

After a couple of years in therapy, I am coming to grips with the sense of guilt that affects every aspect of my life. I am choosing to believe that I am NOT GUILTY and that I am no longer willing to enable my daughter by not allowing her to grow up.
My heart goes out to you, hon. It's a tough row to hoe.

((((((((((hugs for gt))))))))))))

Sincerely,

~~bonita

August 20, 2006
5:26 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ras , sleepless .brynnie. startingover, strong, bonita
THANKYOU all so much it means alot to me right now more than you will know....................love GT

August 22, 2006
3:25 pm
Avatar
sleepless in uk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Gt...just wanna say Im thinking about you. Been away for a while but am back now

take care

August 22, 2006
3:58 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sleepless hi missed you ,how are things with you GT

August 22, 2006
4:33 pm
Avatar
sleepless in uk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ah you know...not great

but Im ok

Bit worried about you though. From what I read you are having a bad time right now

you take care

August 24, 2006
4:55 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi sleepless,
yer your right times aint good right now,but hanging on in there,need to make some changes in my life i no i need to do something but finding it hard,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you takecare too GT let me no if you want to talk

August 24, 2006
5:48 pm
Avatar
sleepless in uk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

same goes for you GT

I look on most days now Im back. If you need to talk i will be around

my best to you

August 30, 2006
4:25 pm
Avatar
gettingthere
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sleepless hi bow are you hope you are ok sorry i havent been here much lately takecare GT

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
31
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38543
Posts: 714223
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer