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Mich has a question....regarding sexual assault....
September 10, 2009
10:14 pm
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truthBtold
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andii,

You wrote: "If a man drinks too much at a bar and somebody jumps him, nobody ever tells him he got jumped and robbed because he drank too much. Not even the police. They try to catch the people who jumped him."

You are so right. This is an excellent point! (I never thought about it this way.) There IS a double standard still prevelant in today's society towards women.

(I have always kind of touted myself as being kind of ahead of the curve on this stuff, sort of kind of, but now, from what you wrote has made me realized that I have some serious re-thinking/assumptions to deal with myself.........)

Excellent point!

September 10, 2009
10:57 pm
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_anonymous
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Andi- You come on this site and make like you are the "normal" one. Again GET real.

I do know what I am talking about. The issue here is someone who habitually comes on this site and decieves people.

Your emotional manipulaiton with not liking me, and not having a heart for me, not speaking to me doesnt work.

September 10, 2009
11:03 pm
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_anonymous
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Cheolonia- I dont agree with you. I do not have to support any more of ScaredinMichigans lies. I am fed up with them.

Talking about following guidelines Mich has signed on under several different nicknames i.e. sweetpeas, 1smartcookie, etc. Then she formed an alliance with a very toxic person on this site on Face Book.

You dont have to agree with me but as far as I am concerned she is deceitful.

September 10, 2009
11:10 pm
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_anonymous
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Mich- I dont appreciate the fact that you did not tell the truth in your first post. I found it very misleading.

This isnt the first time you have done something decietful. On several occasions you have signed on under different nick names.

You also formed an alliance with a very toxic poster.

Based on that I dont trust you.

I hope you can take responsiblity for your choice to lie, and drink.

The next time you post I would love to hear about your efforts to stop drinking and be more honest.

I wish you the best on your road to recovery.

September 10, 2009
11:18 pm
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Shonda
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Destinystar, I think this is ironic. ScaredinMichigan starts a thread about supporting a friend who has been raped. Gets varied responses, and then you show us how not to support.

I would be surprised if you even read the first post.

September 10, 2009
11:52 pm
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truthBtold
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Destinystar,

Where is all this anger from you coming from, do you suppose?

I mean....really?

You know, I have heard it said that SOMETIMES the thing that really gets 'under our skin' and makes us all hot under the collar and upset and angry about others might just well be the VERY THING that we recognize on some level - but are not yet fully able to OWN up to nor comprehend about ourselves.

(Is this hitting a nerve, maybe?)

Please do take a minute or two to think about this one......

You keep mentioning over and over again about 'getting real' - perhaps this is something that YOU need to do for yourself instead of automatically projecting it onto some innocent bystander like Mich on this anonymous forum which, by the way, is SUPPOSED to be supportive and helpful to those vulnerable enough to show their soft underbellies!!!!!!!!

I think that you just need to 'get real' and honest and gentle with yourself sweetie and maybe take a little time out to really think about and maybe examine just WHY in the world this whole matter effects you like it obvioulsy does and just why you feel a need to lash out in such an inappropriate manner as is kind of obvious to many here.

Maybe?

((((Destinystar)))) a big ole bear hug for you because I sense that deep down underneath your crusty, confrontational exterior and anger, you probably really need one just like Mich does right now too.

Life is just too damned short to lash out unnecessarily when really, underneath it all, ALL of us just really want the same basic things....to love, to be loved, to be validated and heard and accepted is all.

you know?

September 11, 2009
12:00 am
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chelonia mydas
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Destiny,

If you are this upset/threatened by this person, then walk away from them. Don't read or post on their threads. Why continue to be this stressed out and unsupportive. What do you get out of it?

This is an anonymous board, we don't have access to facebook info here. ScaredinMichigan has been posting for the past several years that I've been here. Your accusations come across as delusional. You really seem like you could use some professional counseling and possibly medication for your issues.

Do you not understand that by being so rude that you not only hurt Mich but also those of us who are trying to support her? Many of us have been through this. It is part of our reality and we are offering support to a fellow sister who has asked for support. By being able to be there for her, it also helps us heal. It allows some of us to provide the comfort and support we might not have gotten or to ensure that the healing support that got us through our rapes is shared with other victims. We beleive her, irregardless if others do. Becuase for so many of us, we were too long silent or not beleived when we have shared our story- but we know so to well that we speak the truth. So by believing someone, it also helps us heal.

Your accusations here are not welcome for so many reasons.

You offer hurt and destruction on a thread that was suppose to be about healing. Based on what has been written on this thread, you appear to be the toxic element. Please start your own thread if you want to share your unsupportive, hurtful thoughts.

I'm here to offer support to Mich. Because of your behavior, I will not read your posts on any thread for at least the next month. Until you can learn better communication skills that are not so hurtful, you will not exist to me.

September 11, 2009
12:19 am
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_anonymous
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Shonda- I read the first post then responded. I did not read the other posts. After I did I felt misled.

September 11, 2009
12:23 am
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_anonymous
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TruthBtold- I really appreciate your hug. And I will send one back to you.

Its simple at first I thought she was posting about her friend and I responded in kind. Then it turned out to not be true and I felt like I didnt know what to believe. Threw me off.

September 11, 2009
12:36 am
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andii
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Interesting (and a bit ridiculous IMHO) that this thread is now about Destiny.

Hugs to you Mich.

How are you doing?

(((mich)))

September 11, 2009
12:36 am
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truthBtold
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Destinystar,

(I was thrown off too initially, just in a different way and regret that my own stuff kind of got in the way.....)

September 11, 2009
12:40 am
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_anonymous
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Chelonia- I dont need you to validate my opinions. I am here for my own personal reasons.

I cannot support a person who has been posting what I percieve as misleading, decietful information. That is just where I am at right now.

I only read the first post on the thread, cause that is what I chose to do. Many of these threads have way too many posts for me to read them all. Originally I was addressing an issue that she claimed her friend had. It wasnt until another poster pointed it out to me that there was a post that I missed where Mich changed her story and then said something entirely different.

I will not back down or be bullied by you, but I felt like I was decieved and wasted my time trying to help someone based on false information.

You are dead wrong about your delusional comment that you made to me. And I dont appreciate it. Mich used this site in a decietful manner to meet up with a trouble maker and she knows it.

Since you are not an MD I think it is bang out of order for you to be diagnosing and perscribing medications.

I dont care if you read my posts or not they arent written with you in mind anyways.

You have absolutly no authority over me and I will post or not post as I please.

September 11, 2009
1:19 am
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_anonymous
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TruthBtold- Thank you for validating my perspective. That hug sure felt great.

September 11, 2009
1:22 am
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_anonymous
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Andi- These threads are for anyone and everyone. For honest, open communication.

September 11, 2009
6:14 am
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darkeyes
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hi all. im only writing on this site in over a month. even though i know nobody knows me, i still feel very vulnerable, your opening up wounds that have been scabed over but never healed.. i felf i deceived people in my tread cos at the time i was unable to reveal a secret, and atalose said to me, you reveal "what you can when you can" and that gave me courageand comfort to open up........mich my heart goes out to you. i couldnt ever begin to understand the pain your in, no one ever deserves to be raped no matter what the circumstances. you do pet what you have to do to heal and you tell only what and when your comfortable enough, il listen,....this life is hard enough without been kicked when your down, i believe you coz its real for you no matter how you tell your story... loads of hugs.... darkeyes

September 11, 2009
10:44 am
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Shonda
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Destiny.

I wonder if this thread, that ScaredinMichigan started about how to support "the friend" is the best place to start an argument about why you don't like ScaredinMichigan, don't think she should be here. I think it might be better to challenge the site coordinator's decision to let Scared stay at the site in private correspondence with the site coordinator. Instead of publicly calling the site coordinator out about it.

Your trying to lead people to SIM's Facebook seems like trying to give away her anonymity. OR- possible trying to lead folks to you. Either way, THAT goes against the guidlelines of the site.

I'm new here. Do you have history with ScaredinMichigan? Old unresolved arguments? If so, that might explain the hostility you have shown her in this thread. I agree that you do not have to post support. But non-support does not mean the mean-spirited challenging that you have done here.

September 11, 2009
11:12 am
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atalose
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It’s the very basic root issue of codependency…….CONTROL.

Isn’t the very basic first step in the recovery process…….we admitted we were powerless over_______.

We CANNOT control another human being PERIOD.

We must live in today and let go of the past.

If an alcohol shows up to an AA meeting intoxicated, should that person be asked to leave until he comes back sober or does the support at the meeting help him begin to get sober.

SUPPORT,SUPPORT AND MORE SUPPORT TO AND FOR EVRYONE HERE.

Take what you like and leave the rest…………..

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 11, 2009
11:30 am
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_anonymous
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Shonda- I never said Mich should not be here. I only addressed the issue that over the years I have noticed a pattern of bait and switch, deception and lies. I only called her out on her and asked her to stop doing it.

As far as the "friend" thing goes there was no friend.

This place is supposed to be annonymous. I am calling her out for posting her name here and supporting another person who did as well.

I refuse to get anyone else involved. No one is responsible for the untruthful statement that Mich made in her original post but Mich. It is codependent for anyone to feel responsible for another persons lies.

September 11, 2009
11:38 am
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Shaney
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Oh for the love of GOD! Aren't these boards SUPPOSE to be about sharing differing opinions based on experiences from a very diverse group of people? I mean, that's what we come here for - to ask for opinions or advice, and a chance to apply these differing ideas to our own lives. Destiny gave a different opinion than the majority, and is getting crucified for it. What a shame! At the end of the day, it's not up to the majority to decide who's advice or which opinions Mich SHOULD take to heart. Mich is more than capable of taking what she needs from these boards, AND defending herself if she feels she needs to.

Personally Destiny, I don't think you need to defend your personal opinions. Just my take.

Let the stones begin to fly ....

September 11, 2009
11:46 am
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_anonymous
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atalose- That quote you made was excellent! Thank you for bringing positive energy my way. I can support, support, support anyone but habitual liars. I am at the place in my recovery where I dont feel comfortable putting up with liars. I feel that I need to confront people in my life with their lies. In the name of honest open, communication, that is how I feel, this is where I am at.

Being the better person than me that you are, I will admit that your comment made me stop and think. That I need to find a kinder, gentler approach.

Thank you for putting me one step closer on my path towards recovery.

September 11, 2009
11:56 am
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Shaney
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Great post, atalose.

September 11, 2009
11:56 am
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site coordinator
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Hi Everyone,

I only want to remind that this site is about helping ourselves, not others. The intentions of this site are not to directly help or fix others.

If you incidentally help others through posting about YOURSELF, that is the true intention and hope of this site.

Speak bravely, honestly, and assertively about ourselves. I hope that everyone's purpose for being here.

Peace, SC

September 11, 2009
12:33 pm
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_anonymous
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Shaney- Thank you for your message. You hit the nail right on the head.

September 11, 2009
6:06 pm
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andii
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Wow the site coordinator, I guess that's the moderator, was here.

So I guess it's okay to accuse, name call, and persecute people in this "support" forum?

I guess that's considered open and honest communication.

Well, OKY!

I have a few things to say.

Destiny I think you're a cold hearted calloused bitch. If I was raped and called you as a friend I'd probably shoot myself. I mean really "here's a couple numbers to call- your problems are yours not mine." And I've learned that those who point fingers at others often do so in an attempt to cover up their own little secrets.

So I guess you're a liar too. Deceitful and habitual. A toxic poster.

Whew!

Open honest communication is great. I feel better already 🙂

Thank God I waited to open up about myself here!

and if I offend anybody in the post I do apologize.

Just trying to fit in.

September 11, 2009
6:14 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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Andii, forgive me if I am wrong but I thought you had a long history here. Anyway picture me laughing, now tell us how you really feel

Bitsy

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