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Mich calling the Afghan sisters......
November 6, 2006
10:24 pm
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lovinglife
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It hurts me to know how bad you hurt inside...and hurts me to think that you would think that anyone, esp myself would not love you or would abandon you. I'm in this for the long haul.

November 6, 2006
10:24 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Need,

By no means am I asking you to leave. You are a sister. I love you just the same as I do the rest of these girls. You are a piece of my heart...you can't change that now.

November 6, 2006
10:26 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I don't truly feel like you would abandon me, maybe it is that I feel like you should. Part of me says just let me go, I am holding you all back. I know in my heart that i have helped gg. I do. I just feel like I have failed more than helped...that's all. I am sorry

November 6, 2006
10:26 pm
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lovinglife
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Mandy- you feel that your not assest- but does make it truth than?

November 6, 2006
10:28 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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NO, and I am not saying that it does. Maybe I am afraid of not being able to stop myself from doing what I so desperately want..and I don't want you guys to be hurt...does that make sense?

November 6, 2006
10:30 pm
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lovinglife
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right Mich- it's only that you feel like another should, but that doesn't mean anything other than thats what you feel. Trying to make some sense here... just because you feel regarding what we're talking about doesn't make it so.

November 6, 2006
10:32 pm
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lovinglife
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any which way you would leave us would hurt.

November 6, 2006
10:35 pm
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lovinglife
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Now let me ask...are you willing to make a committment to stick to whatever we started here for the long haul??? None of us know Mandy what the end results will be for any of us...but if we don't give this a try, we'll never know. I think what we have going is pretty darn special and I believe in the long run is going to prove to be pretty darn effective...

November 6, 2006
10:36 pm
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needtoheal
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MICH-- sorry to chime in.. however,

you are an asset here.. that is what

I was trying to convey with all those

postings to you earlier on the other

thread.. You do not feel that you have

helped but my GOD MICh, you have

helped me... Don't you see that?

And I do appreciate you -- for

embracing me.. and for even reassuring

me here tonight.that meant a lot to me right now MICH. thank you because

I am so glad to be here.. with you..

and everyone else... and thanks for thinking of me as a sister...

November 6, 2006
10:37 pm
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needtoheal
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ANd I do agree with LL--- this is

special --- and we can do this MICH

and we all want you to be here with

us....

November 6, 2006
10:39 pm
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lovinglife
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and darn do I sound tired : )

GG went through similar feelings as you today regarding thinking she is holding others back-this is all part of it...resulting in growth. Can we as a group make it through these initial bumps in the road?

November 6, 2006
10:40 pm
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needtoheal
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GG suggested last night that

maybe us triplets could do the

workbook from the COUrage to HEal

book about sexual abuse.. Maybe

you would not want to do it right

now .. and understandably so but I

thought that was a great idea of GG

and it is something that could bond

us more...

November 6, 2006
10:42 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I suppose LL. I want to be around...I do. Please believe that. You guys have become my lifeline.. the air I breath, and the only thing that makes me smile. As sad as that sounds. It is true...I just want to be helpful..I want to do something besides whine...

November 6, 2006
10:42 pm
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needtoheal
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AND MICh I only had said what I said

to you earlier because I thought

that I had something to do with you

feeling this way since I was new

here .. but thank you for still

embracing me MICH

November 6, 2006
10:43 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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It is something that i would consider Need. I need to get through a few more of the books I have already...

November 6, 2006
10:43 pm
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lovinglife
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how often in this life do we connect up with others who have had similiar life experiences?

Mich you are a vital part of this whole thing- I know that you don't see it that way and also you feel that if you fall that you will disappoint us. Mich I could fall tommorrow, I don't know. I've said it how many times that I am not out of the water yet...but I'm not giving up yet...I feel hope within Mandy- and you have been apart of that.

November 6, 2006
10:45 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thanks LL. But I will tell you that it is you that I feel i have failed the worst. And I am sorry. TRULY.

November 6, 2006
10:45 pm
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needtoheal
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MIch=

I do not see that as whining ...

You are expressing your feelings..

and feeling all different feelings..

at the same time..

and taking care of two babies..

and trying to be there for your

hottie...

please give yourself a break

You are doing the best that you

can.. MICH

the best that you can right now

November 6, 2006
10:46 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I have four babies total Need. (9, 5, 3, and 3 months)

November 6, 2006
10:47 pm
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lovinglife
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first - you can whine all you want. You can rant and rave as much as you want too.

And why do you feel like you have failed me?

November 6, 2006
10:48 pm
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lovinglife
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and the only thing I hope that you are saying sorry for is for saying sorry... : )

November 6, 2006
10:49 pm
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needtoheal
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I know MICh... I just meant that your

two oldest were sick and needed you

not that the other babies did not need

you as well...

sorry for the misunderstanding..

November 6, 2006
10:49 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Becaues i called you on the carpet, got you to admit something, and haven't given you the chance to talk about it since...I know that you blame him, but I blame me. I could push like I did gg. I just am afraid that if I do, you will run the other direction. i want to help you because i care, and because I love you. I don't know...I just feel like I was wrong for doing what I did with that situation...

November 6, 2006
10:49 pm
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lovinglife
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and if I fall tommorrow it's not gonna to be because anyone of you failed me, it's gonna to be because I failed myself.

November 6, 2006
10:51 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I wish that i could feel that way. I wouldn't blame one of you if I fail. I just worry that I will hurt you guys. That has stopped me from failing before, and i am scared that it won't the next time.

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