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mental abuse
February 20, 2003
2:06 am
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Anonymous
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Help. Twenty years with a bi-polar manic depressive who used to be physically abusive and is now "only" mentally abusive, to me that is the worst. Has turned our two sons 18 and 22, against me "your mother is nuts", the usual fat, ugly, stupid, mean, evil unless I agree and put on a smile otherwise I am not "the woman I married". Well no duh, i am worn out, can't and won't take it anymore, have no money, am attending college in Atlanta for Court reporting and Medical Transcription, closed captioning, etc. Still have three years left and am 48 years young. Somebody out there PLEASE HELP ME, I AM AT WITS END. I HATE HIM, AND HAVE NEVER HATED BEFORE. HELP ME, PLEASE HELP ME.! SALLY

February 20, 2003
2:13 am
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This is Domestic Violence and this is against the law. You don't deserve to be treated this way. Can you get out? Can you stay with friends/family until you sort yourself out? Is there a Domestic Violence phone number where you live? Ring them, explain the situation and let them help you explore your options. DV services can put you in contact with 'shelters' that can take you in and which can provide you with resources to help you get back on your feet (financial assistance, clothes, blankets, food packages etc). What about your college? Do they have any counselling services you can access? Do they offer student loans? Financial aid that could help you out while you work through this? Are you able to get a part time job?

Or a secondary note is your husband on medication? Does he take it when he is meant to? Is he seeing a psychiatrist?

February 20, 2003
6:01 am
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Dear Sadjr (Sally)
When I felt like I was losing it...I found a twelve step program....
It helped me to become sane again.
I am so sorry that your husband is hurting you. How can I help?
Hugs to You from a new friend, MJ

February 20, 2003
10:43 am
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Sally,

It sounds like 20 years of hate coming out. And resentment held for that long could explode (or implode) with quite an impact. There are many facets of pain and potential for healing yourself here.

If you have not already done so, read Patricia Evan's 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship'. I know that in the past he has crossed over into the physical abuse area, but this gives you an idea how your husband's mind (and your's) work. It also gives you some valuable tools to help set boundaries and to initiate re-building your self-esteem.

By reading this, you can move from your perceived stagnation to a more pro-active stance. Just so you know, most women stay in lower level emotionally abusive environments for decades. And the wear and tear on your mental facilities is gradual but debilitating.

Hang in there, and let us know how we can help.

Jenny

February 20, 2003
6:18 pm
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USE THAT ANGER TO WORK FOR YOU, WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY.
I BET IF YOU DITCHED THE DRAMA YOU WOULD FIND A WAY TO SUPPORT YOUR SELF AND O TO SCHOOL,HECK MOVE INTO A DORM AND GET FINANCIAL AID

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