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men????????????
January 21, 2005
4:57 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Marley,

I can be open minded if you'd like to talk. if not to me, then to someone else. Seems you really need to get things off your chest.

January 21, 2005
4:59 pm
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marley
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what if there is nothing to tell? what if she is just being completely and totally paranoid but won't believe anyone? how do you convince someone that they are just overreacting?

January 21, 2005
5:02 pm
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Anonymous
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I don't think you can convince someone of that. Look at Mr. Jack and how paranoid he was about me and that I was out sleeping with anything I could, no matter what I did, I couldn't change that and sometimes no matter what you do people will believe what they chose to believe. I don't think you can convince her, you can tell her your honest opinion and that is about it.

January 21, 2005
5:03 pm
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mamacinnamon
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All you can do is your best marley. It's up to her whether she believes or not. You do your best and then the ball is in her court. Then you have a clear conscious and don't need to feel bad about it.

January 21, 2005
5:04 pm
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ILSILS
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well im shure soorry that you must be afraid or whatever to tell us who you are expecially b/c we may be able to help you further, but either way i agree with the above
if your the wife sounds like he's a chating dog
if your the husband sounds like your a cheating dog
if your the girlfriend
sounds like your messing with a chaeting dog
if your the mail man sounds like your really bored

January 21, 2005
5:11 pm
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marley
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I am the friend and my friend's wife is a psychotic lunatic. I was just trying to get some perspective because you see I think it is all a big joke about him wanting to sleep with me, I never take it seriously and apparently she does. So oh well. I have talked to her, he has talked to her she wants him to never talk to me again and we both just think she is nuts and will get over it. I was honestly shocked to see how many people think that he is seriously wanting to cheat. Opened my eyes. So think what you want about me, but I am not the girlfriend and have no intentions of being the other woman.

January 21, 2005
5:17 pm
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Anonymous
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Well I do know you well enough to know that you are not that type of person, but in all honesty I do think he has wanted to sleep with you for some time now, and then when problems occur with his wife, the temptation of "you" is more appealing. I also think that she is most likely pissed at you because she senses that. Instincts are a wonderful thing that more often than not are correct. She may not realize that you have no intention of the above mentioned but in her mind it doesn't matter. You have become the reason they fight, and so forth in her mind.

If you value the friendship, I would talk to her. If not then I would let her think what you want because like stated on many threads as long as you are true to yourself and are okay with what you do at night and can sleep than that is what counts. You know what is there or isn't there.

January 21, 2005
5:22 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Marley,

Ok so you have no intentions. That's great. I commend you. But, she doesn't trust him for some reason. Maybe she is a psychotic lunatic.
But, I know from my 2nd hubby just talking to a girl at work that it can easily get out of hand and they had not yet slept together, but it was goin there fast. I told him me or her. Thank God he chose me. Oh, and I'm not a psychotic lunatic.

Do you truly know his intentions are honorable? If they are and she feels this strongly, right or wrong, maybe ya'll should back off a bit. Do you work together? You could talk at work and that be it, unless there are eyes watching you both there.

See, I don't know how to explain it other than to say try to be open minded enough to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel, not knowing the other's intentions, if you saw your hubby doing for someone else and not you.

Not trying to make you feel bad. Just asking you to take a step back and see what it looks like from the outside.

January 21, 2005
5:39 pm
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marley
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thanks mama - I know that he is great guy and I really love him as a person. His wife and I have been really close for some time, although she gets in these power struggles with me re: my exs (see she still talks to them and I have decided they aren't worth acknowledging) but I think that given time everything will be fine. She is diagnosed bi-polar but doesn't want to go on meds. She is just difficult sometimes.

January 21, 2005
5:43 pm
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shyshy
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I was in your situation when I was a lot younger and I too thought it would go nowhere and it eventually got to the point of me almost sleeping with him. We only didn't because he backed off. My friend never found out that I know of but she had suspisions that something was wrong. It can be all innocent at the beginning and out of nowhere feelings can arise. I've also been the wife and believe me, it's no fun. You can't trust anyone these days and one thing my mother told me when I was just a kid that has always stuck with me was "Never trust your best friend. She will steal your husband from right underneath you!!" Why she told me this at such a young age??? Who knows but for some reason it stuck with me and she told me because it happened to her. Anyway, she's your friend and the best thing for the both of you to do is honor your friend's wishes whether she's acting like a psychotic lunatic or not. I know I would be acting the same way!!

January 21, 2005
5:57 pm
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marley
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WOW! WOW! Ok well I guess I should stop talking to him then. I don't want it to ever progress into anything. Not ever! I mean that would be awful. I don't think I could sleep with someone who was married (or even had a girlfriend)! But the fact that your mother said that, it gave me the chills.

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