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MEN what are they good for?
December 12, 2001
10:33 am
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artist 2
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December 12, 2001
11:12 am
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artist
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??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

December 12, 2001
11:31 am
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artist 2
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I'm just plainly frustrated with men. Why does it always seem easier and less painful for men to go through life than for women? Why is it, after reading all these posts - and making the assumption that most of these are from women - that women have all this crap to deal with, and men go about blissfully unaware all their lives?

December 12, 2001
11:39 am
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jb489
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they just can't face reality--it scares them that they would have to be responsible and grow up. We intimidate them because we really are stronger than them we just like to beat ourselves up trying to get them to see truth's and reality. They would never make it in our shoes. Haven't you heard that women mature alot quicker than men and stay that way until we let them beat us down emotionally. That's what we need to get a handle on. (Not sure if any of that made any sense) I'm having a tough time right now. I just caused my own hurt and I'm really pissed and sad at the same time. Uggghhh

December 12, 2001
11:50 am
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pam g fu
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ARTIST2

ARE YOU HAVING A TOUGH MONTH? WE ALL HAVE THEM, GENERALLY MEN ARE WORTHLESS AND IT IS THE WOMAN WHO KEEPS THINGS RUNNING BOTH AT HOME AND AT WORK TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND IT WILL BE OKAY

December 12, 2001
12:16 pm
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DISCLAIMER:
This is not directed at anyone - or any man in particular... It's directed at the world, see me howling at the moon in despiration next week!!!

THANK YOU PAM!!!

jb: do you think we just have to wait around for them to take a peek at reality from behind their safe little world? Doesn't it just get kind of lonely and old waiting around for us women waiting for them? Until then, how do we cope with being alone in the REAL world?

Yes it's a hard month. I just get tired and disgusted with thinking man after man that - AT LAST HERE'S A MAN WHO CAN BE STRONG AND TAKE WHAT LIFE HAS TO GIVE. Then I find out later he's just as chicken as the last and ... where did he go? oh, hiding behind my skirts with the rest of them. I DONT' WANT A BABY TO TAKE CARE OF. I want to be taken care of!!!

December 12, 2001
12:33 pm
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Molly
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Read men are from Mars, women Venus, it does show just like we discover, that we are just plain different. Evolution, they are surface and we are deep. If you go back through out history, never before have we tried to put all of our needs into just one man. Women up until the 19th century depended on other women for emotional support, heck during menstruation in some cultures we were seperated from the rest of the clan, and sent to caves with other women, it really does take another woman to hear, feel, think and understand another woman. Why do you think the lesbian movement is so big?????? They don't get it, they are hunters, they had to shun those emotional qualities, and like that joke, I want a man that yada yada yada, well he allready has a boy friend. When we get them all emotional like we want them, we walk all over them, stomp their wimpy feelings all over the place. We really do want it all, but I don't think it exists. Give them a truck, a job, and some dirt to play with, pat them on the head when they come home, hold out your hand, let them put the money in it, cook their dinner, give them some comfort, and clean towles for their bath, hope that once a week you go out for dinner, and get his butt on the dance floor at least once or twice a year, and use a woman for venting, companionship, deep discussions, planning, and just tell Homer, when and where to show up.
I really think they want a courtesean, charming, good looking interesting, some one to run the house, and maybe wipe their nose. That is it. Unfortunately since we have been forced into the work place we want the same things, and its not working. We both come home exhausted, bitchy, wanting. they don't like it any more than we do, and we just can't do it all. We can't run the house take care of the kids, balance the bills, and budget, and still be that shelter in the storm. Something has to give, and I think we should all quit working, go to the gym, get a house keeper,go to lunch three times a week with the girls, and lighten our load, I am sure we would all get along much better. I am sure we could ignore so much better all of those petty little faults with his big fat paycheck, and our comforts in place.

December 12, 2001
12:43 pm
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Dammit Molly, you're right again!!!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WHAT YOU JUST SAID. And what about them becoming emotional - then we stomp them for being weak... that's so TRUE... Just like they want someone to wipe their nose, guess women just want someone to bring home the bacon!

The lesbian thing: Well, I don't get it, but whatever.

December 12, 2001
12:49 pm
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And that's the problem--you want to be taken care of. Why? Can't you take care of you? Sounds to me like you can. You just looking for moral support and not finding it--well, that's something else,again.
First, thing that got my attention was all the absolutes being thrown around here. Whenever there are that many absolutes in a paragraph, you got to know that someone is fibbing to themselves--things are so slanted that the argument damn near collapses on itself. It's not easier and less painful for men--not from their prospective, anyway--just from ours.
OK, let's get real--there are some hellacious b***tards out there--just as there are some hellacious b**tches--everyone wants love and affection and to be taken care of --in their own way and for their own reasons--the problems to me seems to be one of communication between the species.
We don't have to wait for anyone to see OUR reality--it's our reality--they may NEVER see it. Is the problem that the guys in your life aren't following your script of how you think a relationship is supposed to be? Get over it, gf--it ain't gonna happen. Our choices as I see it are this: Be yourself, love yourself, plant your own garden and be glad when you find a half way decent, non abusive although thoroughtly exasperating man to spend time with--they are out there--and let the expectations that you have about how it "should" be go--OR: be yourself, love yourself, plant your own garden--and hate all men--even the good ones-- because they aren't women.

That's probably a TAD extreme--I have a tendency to go there but--that's my MO--I turn up the juice and see what shakes loose.
Artist:)

December 12, 2001
12:57 pm
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gingerleigh
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And that is the hardest thing. Right there... "I WANT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF". No one else can take care of us, but us.

There are men out there that are not completely unaware. Some of them post here. Likewise, there are some women that go about their lives blissfully unaware. I know, I used to be one. Am I better off now? I would like to think so, but who knows?

I think (and trust me, I certainly don't know everything, or even very much, just speculating) that we attract the type of people that we need to make us stronger, better, faster, wiser. For some reason, the universe sees it fit at the moment to send you some real hum dingers. Why? What's the lesson that you aren't learning, or are refusing to learn?

I've been truly emotionally intimate with only a few men in my life, and from each of these men I've had lessons to learn. For instance... #1 - taught me the beauty of puppy love, #2 - showed me how ruthless I can be to get what I want, and even when I get it, it's probably not so wonderful in having as it is in wanting, #3 - showed me what it's like to be on the receiving end of a charmer/abuser, showed me how low I can sink, get beaten down, and the depths of strength I have to pull myself back up into the land of the living, #4 - taught me that I have self respect and self worth enough to see him for who he was, define my own values and commitments, and eventually end the relationship to keep my values intact, #5 - taught me and continues to teach me to trust where it's warranted, accept others for who they are, and not to sweat the small stuff.

I still have a lot to learn.

So that's what I think men are good for 🙂 Among other things of course, like opening pickle jars...

December 12, 2001
12:58 pm
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Hey ,so when we burned our bras in the '60"s we actually screwed ourselves--charming idea.
Ihave a shirt given to me by my s.o.(a man)
that says:
FEMINISM IS THE RADICAL NOTION THAT WOMAN ARE PEOPLE.
Artist:)

December 12, 2001
3:05 pm
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I just found a great book while looking in book shops for Relational Rescue. It's called "if the Buddha dated".--just started it but I will finish it in the next couple of days and pass on any tidbits that apply.
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December 12, 2001
3:15 pm
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artist 2
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Great! I like books...

ok - So I LIKE men. They are charming, lovely, sexy, and - THEY'RE OK. Just really get my panties in a wad sometimes.

I still haven't gotten to Victoria's Secret yet!

December 12, 2001
3:18 pm
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Molly
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Artist,
Now that one sounds very interesting, do let me know if I need to add it to the collection.
Gingerleigh, great post.

December 12, 2001
4:58 pm
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pam g fu
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artist2

well victoria secrets is not going to take care of the wad. heeeeeeheeeeeeeee

December 12, 2001
7:19 pm
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gypsygirl
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Blondie you took the words right out of my mouth.

December 13, 2001
10:47 am
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Molly,
YES,YES,YES--the book is DEFINITELY a must get. Not done yet--much reflection going on in the process of reading AND it is a different perspective from Men are from Mars, Women from Venus--BUT it speaks to me.
Once again: "if the Buddha Dated"
A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kasl,Ph.D.
So, check it out--it was published in '99 but I'm sure it's still in print.
Artist

December 13, 2001
11:34 am
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Molly
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thank ya mam

December 13, 2001
12:43 pm
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gypsygirl
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Every time I see this thread I think of that song "War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing"

December 13, 2001
12:55 pm
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Hey, not sure who wrote that song but a group of men sang it. For what that's worth.
Artist:)

December 13, 2001
1:20 pm
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Men are indeed wonderful, strong, knights in shining armour. If you stroke them just right, they'll do anything you ask. Here's to MEN!

December 13, 2001
1:45 pm
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Molly, you got a believer here. Except from one thing. I ditched the 9-5, pushed him into a big fat paycheck, so I could go the to the salons and spas,shop all day, and picked up the kids,and run home and cook dinner , But you guessed it I got bored , went back to school.... found out I didn't really like him.....and did the worst thing in the world..... started looking for another. That's the problem with living the rich housewife role, the husband becomes an object (cash) and you then want a friend, someone you relate to , Someone more REAL.... Go figure....

December 13, 2001
5:44 pm
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damaged
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what are men good for? well I do have my son that is a kick ass kid.

December 13, 2001
5:49 pm
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Hi Damaged! That's cool...

December 13, 2001
7:12 pm
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Molly
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Stregnthcourageandwisdom, ya know I did the very same the first time around, went back to school, and jumped into the jungle, how ever I am older and wiser, and trying to get back into that rut har har har.... Guess I learned something along the way.

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