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Men, Can you explain something about your gender please?
March 1, 2004
10:08 pm
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artist 2
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Why when yesterday he was wanting to make love and today I ran into him unexpectedly and he treats me like a stranger, not like a woman he was messing around with yesterday? What's up with this behavior? And be blunt and clear - I need to understand.

March 1, 2004
10:14 pm
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Squeezles
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September 30, 2010
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Probably because you hurt his feelings by rejecting him so he's trying to reciprocate that hurt by rebuffing you. Men seem to seriously associate refusing sex as a sign that "you don't like me anymore".

Let it go. What benefit are you getting holding on to all these feelings? No doubt he is as upset at the end of the relationship as you are - he's just expressing it in a different way. Give yourself some space to deal with this. Continually trying to work out what he's thinking and why he is thinking them is just going to continually rip open that wound.

March 1, 2004
10:23 pm
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thats right, i think he wants to show that he didnt like your refusal and doesnt care about you too. he knows you dont wanna have sex with him, so hes either trying to be tough and soften you that way, or you're not on his 'field' anymore (atleast for now) as far as getting sex is concerned and he doesnt want to think about it. Men have the ability to have sex without strings attached and they can see it as "i want it and its no big deal" - i prefer that to the women's attitude where they're generally extra careful about who they have sex with and they do make a big deal out of it. I mean.. i wish society was more carefree - (now you know how men think hehe, hmm)

March 1, 2004
11:50 pm
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kmshull
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This is about your ex right? The one you just recently broke up with?

I asked my husband about this one. He mentioned that many men are impulsive and don't necessarily think of the ramifications of their actions. Many men are in the here and now. Stereotypically, they let their you-know-what lead the way. Perhaps he wanted it yesterday and didn't think about the consequences. You rejected him which gave him a chance to think about it. It might be that he decided he really didn't want it because of the affect it might have on you or between the two of you and he changed his mind. Perhaps he was just horny and willing to "use" you last night, but given a chance to think about it, it decided it might make the situation of you two breaking up, more complicated.

Just a different perspective. It's possible that he may have just not liked the rejection as well. Plain and simple.

March 2, 2004
6:48 am
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artist 2
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All of you have said he's probably upset about being rejected. Any chance that he was just uncomfortable about seeing me unexpectedly?

For kmshull's husband: How would he feel if I kept trying to get him back? Like reminding him of the good times, letting him know I still miss him, telling him I would do anything to get him back.

March 2, 2004
9:39 am
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eve
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Artist, do you notice that you are swinging again - from "no, I can't take one minute more of being close to him" to "I want him badly".

I think he was looking for some instant gratification (sex) whith you whithout any further commitment. If this is what you want - go get it. If you look for a relationship - I think that this one has really proven beyond reasonable dought, that it doesn't work whithout giving you great pain.

March 2, 2004
11:56 am
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marley
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artist -

I am on the swinging yo-yo deal too! I think he was rude to you for a bunch of reasons,

1) he wasn't thinking
2) he was rejected (and despite kmshull's comment - I think even when men are living in the here and now, due to your rejection he didn't want to be around you here and now b/c he thought you didn't want him)
3) um, you acted like you didn't want to have sex with him - is he unattractive to you now that you broke up? My guess is he may be thinking about things more sincerely now, like maybe I lost her and now we might run into each other unexpectedly, not cool (for him).

I wouldn't under any circumstances pour your heart out to this guy until you are sure he is a keeper. I mean he wanted the distance to grow etc . . . give it to him. If he wants you back he will come back to you, otherwise I would simply continue on as you are - strong, self-reliant, and caring. No one will see anything deficient there.

March 3, 2004
6:52 am
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artist 2
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Cool thanks Marley. Good analysese. I think all points are true.

Eve, it did cross my mind to make up a reason to go over there just for sex. hee. But, gotta keep that heart under cover for certain - right?

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