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Men are all cheaters. HAH.
March 17, 2005
12:31 pm
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Cici
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So I went out last night to a concert and got trashed, which is unusual for me....I missed a few horus of work this morning because I was a bit hungover. More like I was body-tired.

Anyways, I met an old boyfriend of mine and we hung out. He was flirtatious and offered me a ride home, so I took it because the people I rode with were going to do coke and I don't do that stuff. (anymore).

We hooked up last night and then this morning he starts talking about this girl he is "kind of seeing" which turns out to be his girlfriend! Duped. I was duped!!!

Anyways, suffice it to say I ended the interaction with, well it was fun, but I can't hang out with you, you have a girlfriend. Good luck to you, buddy!

He went on and on about how hard it was to date me years ago because i was emotionally unavailable, distant, and cold. Blah blah blah. Well ain't life grand. What a total asshole. It was great sex, though, and I was glad that it was really "no strings attached". He said a lot about how different I am now, how I am a totally different person and he finds me much more attractive now than he did when we first met or whatever. Anyways.

I feel bad for his girlfriend. She called him at like 7am wondering where the f--- he was, and he made up some dumb lie about how he fell asleep in the car and I told him to get dressed and go home because that was lame, and asshole-ish.

Now that has only confirmed my belief that all men cheat.

March 17, 2005
12:34 pm
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Anonymous
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I second that.

AND, then they think wow this person is doing so much better without me, so now Im so much MORE attracted to them.

Men suck.

Did you read my post on Mr. Jack contacting me last night?

March 17, 2005
12:52 pm
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chickyfighter
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Hey guys, I finished reading the book. CiCi, don't want to make you feel bad, but we cannot control what men do, but we can control what we do. Did you b4 you slept w/him ask him his status? You have to admit that if you don't look out for #1 we are prone to being used. Men are just selfish by nature, and can't say I wish I was not like that, they are not nurturers like us. I pray that not all men are cheaters but I have to agree that most would take the opportunity if given to them. We women have to know the power of our bodies, and not misuse it, trust me I have w/o even realizing it. I am soooo proud of you for telling him to leave and letting him know you wanted nothing to do w/him. Now he is that other girl's problem until she decides to wake up, but this to me shows that you are able to disattach and know to stay away from what is toxic to you. Great job Cici!!
Aces, sorry about your date, I read about it, it sucks that when we go on those kind of dates we just end up missing our exes even more, hang in there.

March 17, 2005
1:07 pm
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Cici
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Yeah Aces, what a butt burglar. I heard that rap song "Mr. Lonely" on the radio and I think that they sometimes realize what dumbasses they are but are so unable to disconnect from the asshole nature of their presonalities that they suck.

No, chicky, I didn't ask him his status....I really didn't even think about it because he was being all touchy feely with me and grind on me on the dance floor - I assumed he was single, but as soon as I found out I was like, Sloooow your Roll, buddy boy!

March 17, 2005
1:17 pm
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Worried_Dad
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"Men are all cheaters. HAH."

Actually, we're not.

March 17, 2005
1:34 pm
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TrueIntuition
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Guys cheat,
Men do not. There is a big difference. Guys will cheat when the woman lets them. You can bet that sleeping with anyone on the first night there is going to be complications. I've met plenty of guys who cheat, I've met plenty of girls ( not women ) who cheat.

March 17, 2005
1:36 pm
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Anonymous
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I think that people in general cheat. Temptation is hard thing to resist.

I've cheated, way too many times. I guess I blame it on being a Gemini.

March 17, 2005
1:55 pm
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TrueIntuition
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I've cheated, you've cheated allot of people have. Wasn't it the devil who gave Eve the apple ?? And so it began. It's also in our human nature to procreate.
But, like I said, it takes a real man to be true to someone. It takes a real woman to respect herself.

March 17, 2005
2:06 pm
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silence
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Hey. As long as my left hand never finds out about my right hand, then I should be fine.

March 17, 2005
2:14 pm
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Cici
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Jeez, man, I really could give less than 2 sh*ts what people think about having sex with someone (who I have known for 2 years, hahaha, as I said it was an exBoyfriend of mine).

I was just saying how funny it is that people say "oh I didn't mean to start a relationship with a man who is married/dating someone else" -- as soon as you find out, you stop. period.

You guys kill me sometimes.

March 17, 2005
2:16 pm
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Cici
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I get sooooo pissed off thinking about this -- if a guy has sex with a girl it's fine, but if I have sex with someone, then magically I don't respect myself? blah blah blah.

I had an itch. I scratched it.

This site should be amended to "Counseling and Support and Advice for CHRISTIAN people"

:roll eyes:

March 17, 2005
2:20 pm
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TrueIntuition
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Good for you CICI,
It sounds like you had a good time last night.
I thought you were angry because he cheated on his girl with you.
Some guys will do anything to get ahead.
Hats off to you.

March 17, 2005
2:42 pm
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angel4U
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I have never cheated on someone, but have been cheated on. Also know guys that have been cheated on, too. We all know it's dishonest and hurts (just read all the threads on how people feel when it happens to them), so I can't find any justification for doing it ... I believe it's pure selfishness on the part of the cheater, otherwise why not be open with your partner and tell them that's where you're at with the relationship and give them the opportunity to decide if that's the kind of relationship they want???

Loved Worried_Dad - thanks for giving a little reassurance that there are "good honest" guys out there. I have seen so much of the opposite, that I start having doubts.

TrueIntuition's response ... loved your analagy about guys/men, girls/women and real men, real women ... I think you are right on the money!!

Cici - I am sorry this happended to you, but admire your strength and respect for yourself! You go girl! Sounds like he's still a "guy", or "boy" in my opinion ... unfortunately some NEVER grow up!

Angel4U

March 17, 2005
2:46 pm
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Cici
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I'm thinking the ratio is like...99.5% cheaters, 0.5% non-cheaters....

March 17, 2005
2:53 pm
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TrueIntuition
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Here's a question,
Do you think a cheater will ever change or one day stop cheating ??

March 17, 2005
2:56 pm
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Cici
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Nope. I think once a cheater, always a cheater.

I have begun to accept that all men cheat, and I think a lot of women cheat, too -- I have a theory that it's genetically hardwired into humans....what better way to reproduce than get some other male to be the caretaker of your offspring, so you don't have to invest the energy and resources in them?

I am starting to think I shall just accept that any one I date in the future will cheat on me and whatever, as long as I know and I am allowed to stray, myself.

I just don't think monogamy is very common nowadays. The idea is there, but the reality is now. I am nothing if not pragmatic to the extreme.

March 17, 2005
2:57 pm
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No, I really don't. Well I don't know, I gues because when I end a relationship it is always because I like someone else. So then I think there will always be someone else to come along.

I think when I really meet the person that blows my socks off and makes my heart melt I won't even think the next person could be better.

I take it back I do think people can change, when they really truly care for the other person more than themselves.

CICI- it isn't your fault he was a dick and didn't tell you, besides I haven't had sex for TWO months, I envy you.

March 17, 2005
3:02 pm
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angel4U
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That's what it seems sometimes, wonder why?? Some guys say that "it's just a man thing" ... and some of these guys say they want to get married. I tell them "with that attitude, you shouldn't be married". (Argghhh! It just ticks me off sometimes that they somehow have it in their head that this is ok!!!)

My own brother claimed that he loved his wife, but cheated on her all the time for, as he claimed, just the sex (and of course lied about his whereabouts to do so). He condoned it by saying his wife didn't give it to him as much as he wanted, so he thought it was ok to get his needs met elsewhere. When I asked him if he ever sat down and talk about how he was feeling, he said "of course not". Wonder what other guys have to say about this? (btw - I consider my brother to be pretty male chauvenistic - talking openly and honestly about his feelings is not in his nature. He's the kind of guy that always needs his ego boosted by women and is a bit of a control freak.

TrueIntuition - Just reread one of your response and have to comment on "Guys will cheat when the woman lets them." ... This is SO NOT TRUE! Most of us don't even know it's happening. Men lie about it!!!, and some of them are very good at it. Now I will say that there are some women that find out and (sadly) lie to themselves because they are not ready to face the truth. But whenever I have been cheated on, my bf DID NOT tell me it was happening. Why? Because he knew I would leave him!

March 17, 2005
3:03 pm
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Cici
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Yeah well it was random and I was kinda trashed at the time. Embarassingly enough he was all, I had a GREAT TIME! and I was like, huh? hahahaha

March 17, 2005
3:10 pm
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TrueIntuition
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Perhaps everyone will continue to cheat but, I still think it goes back to being an adult, Man, Woman, that eventually I will meet someone that is ready to explore monogamy.
I know it's there. I think our society is a bit tainted but someone has to keep the spirit alive.
What I should have said earlier is that it takes a real man and a real woman to say this is where I stop, with this person right now.
just a thought.

March 17, 2005
3:11 pm
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Take Heart
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I disagree. I dont think ALL men are cheaters and its very unfair to generalise. Whatever happend to getting to know someone first before jumping into bed? ..

March 17, 2005
3:15 pm
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Cici
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I am totally thinking, serial monogamy is definately still alive and well....

But I am also thinking, is it realistic to expect to find someone who:

(a) fulfills all your spiritual, physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual and philosophical needs?

(b) will change and grow emotionally at the same pace you do, who wants to do this the same way you do, and who will accept all the physical changes you go through as you age?

(c) who will not eventually crave difference, novelty, or change so much that they will abandon the security of a relationship they have explored for the excitement of a new one?

What if, instead of trying to conform to society's rules for how relationships should be, if I tried to change my personal attitude for how it COULD be? Instead of trying to be happy with what others tell me I should do, I try to figure out what feels best for me? Maybe I am not cut out to be in a relationship ever again?

Talking to my friend's mom, I was like, divorce changes you -- you know more and those who don's are more innocent in many ways...and she was like, well maybe you are better off NOT knowing that extra bit, eh?

One wonders.

March 17, 2005
3:17 pm
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Cici
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Take Heart
17-Mar-05

I disagree. I dont think ALL men are cheaters and its very unfair to generalise. Whatever happend to getting to know someone first before jumping into bed? ..

See Post 10:

Quote:
"Jeez, man, I really could give less than 2 sh*ts what people think about having sex with someone (who I have known for 2 years, hahaha, as I said it was an exBoyfriend of mine). "

March 17, 2005
3:18 pm
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Cici
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Take Heart, I already KNOW this guy, I've known him for 2 YEARS, I already said he was an EXBOYFRIEND of mine. READ THE THREAD. ARRRRRRGH.

I am in a pissy mood today. HAAAAhahahaha.

March 17, 2005
3:22 pm
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TrueIntuition
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Why are you in a pissy mood,
you got it on last night girl !!
Hell yeah !

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