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men and money
October 2, 2001
9:32 am
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pill
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Are all men sensitive to money issues? Do they have to feel in control when it comes to paying for things? Why is that?

October 2, 2001
9:34 am
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pill
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One of my past boyfriends couldn't handle the relaitonship because he never had any money. I mean to end a relationship out of shame over money? I don't understand.

October 2, 2001
1:54 pm
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Molly
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I don't think its just limited to men, I think that unfortunately we are a group of people that have the agenda of money behind just about everything. Guys think most girls are out for what they have, thus the car judgement, and the restraunt judgement. Girls want guys with fat wallets, in general its considered a better catch. Some guys I know take a junker on the first date and expect the girl to go dutch , then after a while, the real car comes out, as well as picking up the tab. There are to many gold diggers out there, both sides. men are now looking for the woman of independent means, they will wine them and dine them then ops loose their jobs, and women get stuck supporting some one while they guy runs up the credit card. So many men and women, have been burned so bad, that no one is willing co comingle funds or even social security numbers, and after reading these threads, can you blame them?
I never ask or invite if I am not willing to pay for the whole thing, or bring up dutch even with my hubby cuz he is so damn cheap with things that he is not really motivated to do, but if he wants to do it, mr big spender even if he doesn't have the money. So, if you really want to go out with this poor guy, pick up the tab, or settle with where he can afford to go. or run to the circle of people that have the same interests as you do, don't make the mistake of settleing just cuz he is cute.

October 2, 2001
5:02 pm
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1dvsgirl
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I don't think it is so much about money as it is about being able to care for the needs of the person they're with. Men (and women) equate money with comfort, success and security. We've come a way since 1950, but not so far. A lot of people still grew up in homes where even though Mom and Dad worked, Dad still took care of the bills. We're still working through those barriers, especially men. Men usually connect a large part of their self esteem to their work (ie money) whereas women tend to connect their worth with their faminly/home/relationships. Just the realities of the social norms we are still changing. I'm with Molly on the pay for yourself thing - I always make sure I can cover my own fun. Maybe by the time my son is an adult men (and women) will have realized that money really isn't an issue, be comfortable, splurge here and there and leave enough for the rugrats to go to school. That's about all it's really good for!

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