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MEC WHERE ARE YOU
February 19, 2004
12:10 pm
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I think that regardless of the money, you should take the job if you aren't happy where you are at, and you want a different job. I think that if you want this other job and think it good experience to take it, Hey I never did ask you how old you were. You can still take the bar in WA, so don't worry about that one. I think Ali is not going to give up easily, and you will have to have some major will power to stop this. Don't you? I also think that you are going to have to be the one to stop it because he won't. Does he ever feel weird cause you make more money than he does? Just wondering. I think it depends on if you want to take the job, and if you are okay with being that close to his house, but I know I wouldnt change a not take a good opportunity just for that reason, but I am super goal oriented. Im sure stupid has checked his email by now, and hasn't called I know he won't until late tonight and then I don't know if I will want to answer my phone at all, I mean obviously it isn't that important to him, if he can't call me during day hours while he is gone. Especially after an email like that, we shall see, I was proud of myself though he was saying he wanted me to pick him up and I kept telling him no.

February 19, 2004
12:31 pm
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Good for you!!! (for saying no). Why does he want you to pick him up? I thought his friend was going to do it? I wouldn't get too upset that he won't call you during the day. You need to give him at least a couple hours to think about it after he reads the email and then he probably doesn't want to call you at work to talk to you about it while you are at work so that you don't get upset, etc.

I'm pretty sure I am going to take the job. I'm not really happy where I am at and I guess I don't have that much to lose and it will probably work out fine, I am just stressed, paranoid, and insecure. I am 26 years old.

I am going to take the WA bar in July. I'm just postponing. I just don't like the fact that I am post poning b/c I didn't study b/c I thought it was more important to try and make Ali's and my relationship work. But, that's over and done with now and there is nothing I can do about it other than start studying right away for july.

About Ali, you know, the funny thing is that yesterday was so difficult for me b/c I thought he had just forgotten about me and today I feel really good b/c I feel like the tables have turned completely. I used to be the one who would just show up at his house at 6 am and wake him up etc and the fact that he did it made me feel really good. Honestly, it's like, I don't really want to let him go, but, I don't want to take him back unless I really honestly believe that he will change (and go back to the way he was before really more than change). Right now, I'm not sure that's possible.

What do you think I should do with him?

February 19, 2004
12:33 pm
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So, Aces, it's detox DAY 1 for me AGAIN!

February 19, 2004
12:42 pm
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The thing that really stinks about this whole thing Aces is that b/c of what happened this morning I keep glancing toward the phone expecting him to call!! Darn it!!

Have to remind myself to not think about that!!

February 19, 2004
12:51 pm
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You can do it....

OMG so he just called me on my cell phone, and said that since I gave him that option in my email he was calling me, so wow, what a step for him I didn't expect that one. Surprised yes, very that he called me at work to tell me that,,, so wow that is awesome that you are 26 and already an attorney, Im only now doing my MA, but oh well, I went to college and paralegal school too, so Im around that age of being where Im at I guess. I think that is great that you are going to take the job. GOod for you. So why are you taking the WA bar? are you planning on moving back there? I think that you should at least talk to Ali and get closure, what do you think

February 19, 2004
12:59 pm
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Congratulations that he called!!! What did he say?? He wants to try to make things work?? I am truly happy for you. The only thing I'm thinking is that we are kind of going through the same thing at the same time and I hope we are both not setting ourselves up for a bigger fall, know what I mean? Are you scared at all?? You said you were 28 right? What are you getting your MA in?

I think that if I talk to Ali, I will give in. About money, after takes I get about $4000/month now. He makes more then me b/c he gets paid cash. Since he's illegal he doesn't pay taxes. So, in the end, he makes more money at this point.

I wanted to take the WA bar b/c my mom owns a lot of property there and so do I (apartment buildings) and we are both in the process of buying more. So, sometimes when we evict people and need to write nasty letters to them, etc. I do them as the owner. But, it's probably better if I am licensed there just in case. Also, I get a lot of referrals on some good cases there b/c my mom's best friend is an accountant and has her own business. So, I often get calls here from Polish people and Cubans with good cases, but, at this point, I can't take them b/c I am not licensed in WA. Once I get licensed, I could take them or convince my boss to take them, know what I mean? Plus, eventually, I do think of moving back there, so, I might as well take the bar now and get it over with.

I'm dying to know what he said and what you are going to do. No matter what, I hope you will still not go to pick him up at the airport. Are you?

February 19, 2004
1:04 pm
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I am actually thinking of going back to school to get an MA in Spanish literature something like that. But doing it part time after work. Are you going back to school full time or do you plan to work as you go to school?

February 19, 2004
1:08 pm
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No Im 25,,,, not 28, Ill turn 26 in May, thats cool do you like immigration law, I love criminal law, I am getting my MA in criminal justice it is this program that the FBI endorses to get in on an Agent level with them, that is my ultimate goal, until then I work at a law firm, do a lot of research and investigations, plus the police department,,,,,, that would be cool to be licensed in WA, is the bar harder there than in CA, I know the bar is harder in some states compared to other states. All he said was that since I left that option in my email to either call or walk away he was calling cause he wants to proceed forward. We then talked about weather how he is still sick, and odd stuff like that he said he would call me later, so we shall see. What do you think I should do, am I making a mistake....... We are in the same situation but you arent giving Ali another chance though

February 19, 2004
1:12 pm
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I plan to work FT while I go to school, its a two year course, and its online through the University of CInncinati, its the same classes they take at the school and is approved by all schools and so forth in the US so I know its not some crap program, its an advanced thing so it will be a lot of work, and Im kinda afraid to do it right now, in case things with Ron go weird or something like that and I end up screwing up school, I will not let anything affect my school so I have to make sure I am in the right mind set

February 19, 2004
1:18 pm
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May what? My name day is May 29th.

I love immigration law. I do some of that now mostly pro bono and I don't need a license in WA to do more of that. To do immigration law, one only needs a license in one state.

Suppossedly the bar in CA is the hardest in the country. I've heard that NY and FL are the next hardest. WA will be hard for me b/c unlike CA it doesn't have a multiple choice part (CA has 1 day) and there are 26 subjects tested. CA only test like 16 subjects or something like that. Criminal law sounds really interesting to me too actually. FBI ... hmm. . I'm not sure about that. I have a friend who is a lawyer who is now at the final stages of becoming an FBI agent. I think it sounds like fun and a cool thing to do but not forever. A couple of years maybe ... I guess if that is your dream though you should follow it!!

Wow, 25!! (I will be 27 in September)How old is Ron?

I don't know if you are doing the right thing. It's a good sign that he called and I think it may work out but you can't give in to easy. Play a little hard to get and tough (even if it is a bit of game playing). It's worked for me so far!

I don't know if I am doing the right thing either. It's like I really really really badly want to give Ali a second chance. But, I want him to beg for it some more b/c I want to make sure that he promises a number of things and really tries to do them for a while. I think that if he does and it works for a while then eventually it will work out. In my heart, I know he is a good person and I know that he loves me. We've just had a very tough time. I also really don't think that he is using me. I used to think that to some extent at times, but, not really, and maybe he did at one point, but, now that the car is not really an issue (it's in his name and he is paying), there is nothing else he can use me for.

You know, the thing that really sucks about being my age and being a lawyer is that people think I make lots of money this and that and a lot of men find it prestigious to go out with a lawyer and I don't mean to sounds like a brag or anything like that, but, I'm not ugly. The thing that sucks is that I tend to be attracted to men who have less than me you know and I always end up wondering whether they are using me. Everyone always tells me that x is using you for this or for that and even if they have as much money as I do, I still hear this, he's using you b/c you are a lawyer or this or that. I remember I was in love with a Cuba for 5 long years of my life. I would have done anything for him and everyone always said, he is using you just to get a green card, etc. Maybe it's all true, but, every now and then I start wondering, is there something wrong with me that everyone always uses me??? I mean, is there nothing good about me that someone would actually want me for me? or want to be with me for me? B/c I am pretty, smart, a nice person?? Do you ever get that? Do you know what I'm talking about?

February 19, 2004
1:20 pm
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So tell me, how do you do a check on someone? Criminal background etc?

February 19, 2004
1:43 pm
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MEC -

I've always dated opposite of you, these guys that are lawyers, doctors, politicians etc. So Ron is the first guy Ive dated that doesnt have a job, wow, and he is 29. I don't think that you put yourself in situations to be used by these guys, and maybe its a control issue for you, to be the one with the power kinda, the one in control, the one that is like the head of the realtionship, also co-dependants like to be the rescuers do you think that you fall into that category?

February 19, 2004
2:05 pm
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Possibly ... I guess that's a good point. B/c I begin "rescuing" friends and then they become my boyfriends.

February 19, 2004
2:35 pm
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You think I put myself in these situations? I used to think that only some of them used me, but, most of them cared about and liked me for who I am and didn't really care about my money, etc. It was my mom who thought that b/c no one I date is ever good enough and it was she who put these ideas into my head and made me feel insecure about me.

February 19, 2004
2:37 pm
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My B-day is May 23----

I dont know I think that some people chose a certain type or are attracted to a certain type for a reason.

February 19, 2004
2:39 pm
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I think that your mom is just looking out for you, but like in any situation you don't know whats going on unless you are really in the situation. So I think that you like to rescue people, and that is why you gravitate towards these guys, it gives you some type of fullfillment in life. I mean how would you react if you dated a guy that made more money than you, had a more prestigious job, took control of the relationship, was basically the man in the relationship, would you feel comfortable with that? Why do you think you choose these type of guys then?

February 19, 2004
2:54 pm
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I think I would love that. The only thing is that I don't go out looking for people to date. I just kind of find them, if you know what I mean. I would love to date a guy who made more money etc. the problem I find with most of those guys is that money is all they talk about and they think every girl is after them b/c of their money and that bores me.

February 19, 2004
2:58 pm
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Yeah what about other laywers? do you like that idea? I dont know and whats going on with Pancho?

February 19, 2004
3:21 pm
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Pancho is moving to Arizona any day now. He's packing and working on remodeling the bathroom.

I have dated other lawyers before. Actually, there are a couple that are interested in me and want to date me now. (I have a date with one tomorrow night.)

You know what it is though. Part of the reason that I am so attracted to Ali is b/c he makes good money, has fun, and he doesn't let me control and/or walk all over him. Do you know what I mean? I know I tend to be controlling and he doesn't let me do that. Before when he did that, I liked it b/c he was right. But, recently he's been screwing up that's why it's so frustrating. B/c in a way, I know he is not like that.

February 19, 2004
3:23 pm
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So talk to him about it, can you do that? I really dont think it is over, I mean I hope that it is if that is what you want, but I feel that it isnt, infact I feel that it is far from over, and thats just a feeling that I have but i think there is too much there for it to be over, over something that small, and you have to admit that its not a huge thing that he did, I mean it did piss you off and stuff but in reality he didnt cheat on you or anything right

February 19, 2004
4:42 pm
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By the way I tend to be controlling too, but I tend to like the guys that stand up to me and dont let me boss them around, sometimes though those arent the nicest guys to know. I cant believe you did victim assistance too, we have a lot in common.

February 19, 2004
4:49 pm
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To Ali you mean? Talk to Ali? I may, I don't know. Maybe I just need some time to think about it.

No, he didn't cheat on me, but, I don't want to be second best to his friends ever again, so, we'll see.

February 19, 2004
4:59 pm
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Yes, those are the guys I like and that is Ali.

So, guess what? I just accepted the job offer!! I just asked for 2 weeks vacation and to start in 3 weeks so that I can give a 2 week notice and go on vacation for a week. So, Cuba here I come!!!

February 19, 2004
5:09 pm
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Nice, Im happy for you, that will be a lot of fun for you, I wouldn't want to be second either, that is why i think you need to talk to him, because you have to remember that guys don't think the way that we do, and things that they think are fine to do, they dont realize bother us, I just want you to think of that, Im not saying get back together with him. I just want to make sure this is what you really want to do, thats cool though that you accepted the job congrats!!!!, and you will have a blast, in cuba and maybe you will meet a hot cuban man!!

February 19, 2004
5:19 pm
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I already know a hot Cuban man. I still talk to the ex I was in love with for years. So, I will probably see him and have a blast, dancing and stuff ...

Wish you could come.

Make sure to tell me how things go with Ron tomorrow and if he calls you.

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