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MEC WHERE ARE YOU
February 17, 2004
5:25 pm
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Well the only reason Im mad is because he isnt calling to be nice he is calling to check up on me and see what Im doing and hope that I come over at 12:30 at night to have sex with him. And its only going to get worse when he goes to NJ because I can guarantee that he will call and accuse me of being a slut whatever. I THINK THAT pyschic was a retard, I mean what does she know anyways, no one can predict what the future will be for you except you, so I think that this is far from over with Ali personally you know. I think from what Ive gotten to know of you that you are a lot like me, very hot tempered quick to react and act, and then over it and missing it, SO that is why we have to find some way that we dont miss it, what that way is I have no idea.

February 17, 2004
5:31 pm
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You are right. It's so funny. It's too bad that people like us can't get together and connect in real life, you know, by phone or email. Then everytime, I think of Ali I can call Aces. .... But, I guess using this site maybe can work.

I think you are right, I don't think you should be his booty call. Ali says that he is my booty call, that i only pay attention to him when I want sex. But, at the same time, he says that he knows I love him. He's full of crap.

Have you ever thought about telling him on one of these midnight calls that you have company to see what he says? He'll probably call you a slut, but, you can say, "no, i was a slut when I was with you, but, no more." I think that would be funny.

February 17, 2004
5:34 pm
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OMG - he would flip out if I did that I went to dinner at my sisters once and he called and so I called him after I was done and he accused of me cheating on him and being out on a date. HE would freak out if I ever told him i had someone over he would be like once a shady bitch always a shady bitch, which he has said to me before, I think that really was the only reason why I answered it last night was because I didnt want to deal with him thinking I was out having sex, so tell me honestly what will you do with ALI?

February 17, 2004
5:43 pm
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Honestly, I don't know. I really want to quit. I am not going to call him. I am really going to try detox. But, I really want him to call and growl.

I hope that with this job interview, I will get the job and that I can negotiate a vacation before I start. I would like to take a month off (even though I can't really afford it right now) and go on vacation to Poland for a week, to Italy for a week, to S. Africa for a week, and finish it off in sunny Cuba for a week and get a nice tan. So, that's really what I want. I know that if I can go away for that long, when I get back, I won't even give him a second thought.

Any interest in going on vacation soon?

February 17, 2004
5:44 pm
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You don't have to tell him it's male company. I would just say, I'm sorry, I have company. And really, so what if he flips out and calls you names? Will that make things any worse? and you not saying that, will it make things any better?

February 17, 2004
5:46 pm
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and since you asked -- honestly -- what will you do with Ron?

February 17, 2004
5:51 pm
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Well I'm hoping that when he is gone in NJ it will definitly help me to detox as well, you know, but I also know that He can still call, and the temptation sucks, it feels good when I see him calling, cause then I feel like i have some control and power but I also am way tempted to answer the phone, Yeah vacation sounds great I wanted to go to mexico or somewhere with a nice beach, I also know though that what Ron and I have is very confusing I mean you and Ali know you love eachother Ron and I dont talk about emotions at all, and when we do its at the worst times. Have you planned what you would say to Ali if you do talk to him, I am being nice and cordial to Ron, but Im not showing any interest, and I can't wait for him to find out I will not be taking him to the airport, I must be sick if I get satisfaction in that.

February 17, 2004
6:02 pm
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Did he ask you already to take him to the airport?

What do you mean that you and Ali know you love each other??? I disagree with that. I know that I love him and he knows that I love him. Most of the time, I think that he loves me too. But, I am not sure and I really don't know whether he knows that he loves me and is in denial and trying to get over it or if he thinks he doesn't? The thing that makes it confusing is this stupid car we have between us. Whenever we argue that ALWAYS comes up, so, I can't wait to get my name of that.

I haven't planned what I will say. All I plan so far is not to pick up.

You know what is funny is that he lent me some money sort of and the plan was that he would give me cash but I would pay for something of his with my credit card. That way I wouldn't owe him the money, but, it would give me 30 days to pay. Anyhow, I was suppossed to go pay for it today. It's a transmission and it is by his house. I am guessing that he was suppossed to take me b/c I'm not going to go alone, etc., but, now he's not calling because he is proud. (Guess what, he is calling me right now on my work phone and I am not picking up. I am not picking up. I am not picking up.) Let's see if he calls my cell before I finish this note (yup, he is now calling my cell, and I am not picking up, not picking up. I'll tell you what message he leaves me, if any).

So, I kind of thought of going on my own and just paying for the things, but, I feel mean and I don't really want to right now. It's not the end of the world, but, I should do it huh? Then I will know that if he is calling me it's b/c he wants me, not the money?

February 17, 2004
6:03 pm
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I guess I will do it by the end of the week if I have time. That way I won't feel like a bitch, just not right now.

I wonder if he called about that or about me getting ready at his house before my interview. Probably about the first one.

Didn't leave a message. I'm kind of bummed he didn't leave a message. But, I feel good that I didn't pick up and find a reason to pick up.

February 17, 2004
6:04 pm
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You know, by the way, what you and Ron have sounds a lot like what Ali and I have. I'm not sure there is much of a difference??

February 17, 2004
6:04 pm
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Well, wish me luck on my interview!

February 17, 2004
6:09 pm
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You think not? I guess you might be right, and IM SO PROUD OF YOU for not picking up, and he didn't leave a message because he is like ROn and he will call back. Also because he is proud and figures if she cant pick up Im not leaving a message, Ive done that before,,,, way to go, yeah pay for the transmisison later in the week, you still have time, and he can sit and stew for a bit you know. THATS AWESOME that he called and you didnt answer, doesnt it give you a good feeling besides the curiosity of why he called but a good feeling when you ignored it. Ron and Ali I think are a lot alike, he hasnt asked me to pick him up yet but he only told me last night so Im sure he will call and ask some time, because its a free ride to the airport and he doesnt have to park his car there, well he will have to find someone else!!!!!,,,, Yeah I wish we could talk to each other when we were really in need like when we really wanted to call them too.

February 17, 2004
6:12 pm
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GOOD LUCK ON YOUR INTERVIEW, I WILL TRY TO GET ON LATER TO SEE HOW IT WENT

February 17, 2004
9:51 pm
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Hey Aces,

So, my interview went really well I think. I'm pretty sure I will get the job, which is exciting because it is a 20K pay raise.

When I got into my car after the interview I noticed Ali called me two times. I was excited about that. I think he's only doing that because of the transmission though, which makes me sad. I didn't pick up and didn't call back and I won't.

February 18, 2004
11:21 am
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Guess what so last night he called my cell again at 9:55 and I didn't pick up. Then he called the house a few minutes later. Since I wasn't completely sure that it was him. Actually, I didn't see the missed call on the cell b/c I was already asleep by then. So, basically the house phone woke me up and it was him. He said that he wants to talk to me. I told him that I don't want to talk to him. Then he says: "it's not bad, it's good." and I was like, fine, then, talk. He says: "Not over the phone, I want to talk to you in person." I was like no, I'm sorry. He then asked if I was sleeping and I said yes. So, he said: "Fine, forget it then." I said: "Fine" and I hung up. What pisses me off is that I really picked up because I was asleep and wasn't thinking. If I had known it was him, I would not have picked up. So, now, I guess I have to start detox again.

So, what do you think all that was about?

February 18, 2004
11:39 am
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OMG-

You and me both, Ron called me yesterday at like 5:30 and I answered and he took me out to dinner, and then we went back to my place, and then we went to his place cause he left today, I thought he was leaving sat. but no he left today so I took him to the airport this morning but I told him I wasnt going to pick him up... He said his friend chuck would pick him up, so now I have to detox again and I dont know how to do it since things arent totally bad you know. I don't know he flipped out cause my phone rang last night and it was the wrong number but he thought it was someone calling that I knew and I was lying to him. You tell me what to do,,,,, I think we both need to go far away for awhile

February 18, 2004
2:04 pm
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That's funny. I don't believe you took him to the airport though! and I thought I was easily persuaded!! 🙂

Well, if they call me from this job, I am definately going on vacation. I already decided and I am not changing my mind. I'm going to Poland for a week and Cuba for a week and if I can manage it they I will go to S. Africa for 2 weeks. I'm sure that when I get back it will be over. I won't even give him a second thought.

I am starting detox again today.

I can't tell you what to do. I guess my suggestion would be, give him a shot, if you want, b/c it sounds like you want that. In a way I want that. But, I think you should be a little harder, set some boundaries and don't let him walk all over you. For instance, no matter what happens do not go to pick him up. You said you won't go, have him figure it out himself even if his friend can't do it. If you give in it will be too easy for him and he'll start the same crap. If you set boundaries and don't break them, it will be more challenging for him and I think he will respect you more.

February 18, 2004
2:27 pm
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So Aces, honestly, I'm dying of curiosity to know what Ali wanted to talk to me about that was so important that had to be done in person. Any theories?

February 18, 2004
3:04 pm
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Aces, where are you?

February 18, 2004
3:04 pm
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Hey, did you get anything from Ron for Valentine's Day?

February 18, 2004
4:16 pm
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MEC: SOrry I was out, I didnt get anything from ROn big shock, I bet ali wanted to talk to you about saying he was sorry, He said it was good and he wanted to talk in person, thats just his way of saying he wants to see you cause he misses you. So you really are not going to talk to him again? Yeah I am not picking him up from the airport I was going to send him an email but decided against it since I know how he operates now IT is the same way as Ali, they like it when we give resistence you know, and when we arent as interested and then when we get interested and they can tell then they start their crap all over again, vicious cycle. Im trying to find someplace that I can go this weekend out of Colorado

February 18, 2004
4:21 pm
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Come to LA ...

I wonder about that, him wanting to stay he was sorry. I guess I'm glad I didn't give him the chance to do it b/c if he is really sorry he will keep trying and if he is not, then fuck him.

I am really going to try not talking to him, really, really. I'm very angry and the weird thing is that I totally trust him, especially about not seeing other girls, etc., but, I don't trust him with me. So, right now, I don't think I would trust him telling me that he is sorry ... know what I mean? I am definately not calling him and if he really cares and wants to talk to me, he will have to do some major ass kissing and he probably won't, so, I guess I won't be talking to him ...

My friend Sharon doesn't think it's over yet either.... I don't know.

What do you think?

February 18, 2004
4:27 pm
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So, do you think he will call again?

I decided to follow Zinnie's advice and instead of going to pay for the transmission, I am just going to send him a check for the money I owe him.

February 18, 2004
5:01 pm
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I think its the same as me and Ron and its far from over, and I also think since i just talked to my process server about this that Im going to just stop playing games and be completely honest with Ron. Tell him that I dont see this going anywhere and if he wants to have a real relationship thats fine but if not I need to move on because I cant keep doing this, how does that sound,, yeah LA for the weekend would be a blast

February 18, 2004
5:13 pm
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I think he will call again too

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