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Me, Again, Chicky
May 23, 2005
2:48 pm
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chickyfighter
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September 24, 2010
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I have been swamped w/life, so have not logged on here lately, but I have a question for you guys. (before I continue)I was reading a few of the threads since I last logged on, I just want to hug everyone who I have missed on here.)
Anyhow, I have been less caught up w/"S" mostly b/c he has been and out of the country for the last couple months and have seen him minimally. He will be leaving for good in 1 week. The big question is:
shall I even consider his request of going to see him in Sweden while he is there? (I don't even get why he';s ask me to come?)There is no relationship, he trips me out, he calls me each time he come back from his trips, texts me to let me knw when he is coming back (as if to make sure I make time for him ahead of time/plan)...Then I had been missing him alot and when I saw him last week he was telling me that his leadership training in Singapore is helping him so much (as a person not just in business)and that it is unlike any other he has had, and that he is suposed to show his closest people see the change and it is cute breathtaking to see that he is not so guarded, etc...but my thing is why do we both want each other but not enough to comitt? OK, ME i KNOW IS B/C i KNOW HE IS NOT READY SO i AM NOT WANTING ANYONE WHO WON'T GIVE ME 100% NIOW! Neither one of us has met each others friends or family, so what is the point? Then he calls b/c he thinks he hurt my feelings b/c when he came back from his 20 hr. flight I was w/him but left b/c he was sleeping so much...(granted he made me mad that I had not seen him and then when I did he was so tired that we only spent a couple hrs talking and then sex, and that was it.) I ask myself what it is we want, if I would or should consider booking a flight to go see him, and then why? what the heck is holding us together anyhow? This is crazy, but I am not letting it get the best of me, I don't think of him 24/7 like I used to, anyone thoughts? comments?

May 23, 2005
2:53 pm
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kathygy
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September 30, 2010
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Ask yourself what you want and what your needs are. Are you hoping for more than this man has to offer which is not a lot. Are you attracted to unavailable men? You are getting crumbs here. You deserve so much more.

May 23, 2005
3:28 pm
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chickyfighter
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September 24, 2010
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Kath, I already know all that you said, yes I am getting crumbs, and that is my choice to allow only that, and yes I definitely love emotionally unavailable men b/c I feel suffoctaed w/men who are not, or maybe it's I just am afraid of committment as much as I say I wish S was comittment willing...thanks though for always answering my litle threads 🙂

May 23, 2005
3:32 pm
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chickyfighter
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September 24, 2010
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OK, I guess my question is are we ever going to stop? It's like when I did brush him off and wanted him back he took me back twice, but since there is no relationship what is the point? We are both at fault, we thrive on whetever it is there...I know for sure there is no other woman that has it any better than me, (maybe I am rationalizing this?)

May 23, 2005
3:47 pm
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CAMER
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chicky, maybe cuz deep down you feel this is what you deserve???? You know he doesn't want a committment and maybe you are hoping and praying that that will change. I guess, maybe if you took some time off from dating and started discovering what YOU want and what you and not settle for less, you could change, but the more you go back into the same patterns, the more it seems harder to change anything.

May 23, 2005
3:57 pm
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chickyfighter
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September 24, 2010
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Thanks Camer, I have stopped dating and S says it's a good thing while he is gone to take my time to me, and I think he says that b/c then I won't be w/anyone else, anyway, I am working on getting to know me deeper each day and am working on my relationship w/the one above as well, I have alot to work on, as always, thanks again, maybe I want to know the answers to things I am not emenat to know just yet, or ever!

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