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Mate going out to much
September 21, 2001
9:41 am
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kes
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My mate goes out twice a week and I stay home with our daughter. I feel that its not right but he sees no problem with that. I've asked him if he wants to be single but he says no but he's not willing to give up on going out. What should I do!!!!!!

September 21, 2001
9:43 am
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kes
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September 21, 2001
10:36 am
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sue2001
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well no he does not want to be single... that is a given .. he wants someone at home to babysit when ever he wants to do whatever... for free and he wants his meals cooked and clothes washed and for a litle added extra bonus that he didn't get a t home with his mom he gets a piece when he wants it.... He wants to be married and live single and watch out he is most likely seeing someone on the side too... does he wear his wedding band when he goes out?

September 21, 2001
12:58 pm
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Molly
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What was his parents relationship like, did his dad do the same? often its a subconcious learned accepted behavior. Don't get me wrong, I don't think its right, unless he is at school something to benifit the family, but you need a break as well, and of course the kids need him around to interact. So, where is the communication, and respect. Take a stand on being heard, or he will continue to push his needs ahead of you and the children. Be strong

September 21, 2001
1:06 pm
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pam g fu
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Is this a guys night out? If not, ask him if you could get a babysitter and go with him? Couples need space granted, but not twice a week every week. Evaluate the situation and tell him that you are not his babysitter or maid you are his wife. stand your ground. Sounds like he needs a wake up call.

September 21, 2001
1:35 pm
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Cici
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Why not ask him to stay home with your child so you get a chance to go out, too?

Maybe it's just my age, but I actually encourage my husband to go out with his friends. I think he needs to be able to socialize independently from me.

My husband's new counselor explained about "balanced socializing", especially if you're busy, where you set aside a few nights a week for alone time or time to discuss sensitive issues that you've argued about, but always include one night a week to socialize with your friends separately from your mate so you feel like you have an outlet apart from just your spouse.

Does this make sense, or am I missing the point?

September 21, 2001
1:51 pm
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pill
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What's wrong with your mate having a little fun with friends. As long as he gives you two nights a week out with your friends, or for whatever you want to do, then I don't see the problem.

Now, if it's women he's going out with, or strip bars to where he goes... then there's a problem.

September 24, 2001
3:06 am
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Same
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I think you have to be careful. I used to think it is ok for my husband to have a night out every week so that he can have his own persional life too. Apparently I was wrong and that is where he get too much freedom and start an affair. Be careful. Talk to your husband and if possible, get a babysitter and go out together.

September 28, 2001
8:00 am
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shades
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September 29, 2010
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I feel one night a week is okay if he comes home at a decent hour and talks to you about what he was doing. It shouldn't be everyweek to go out and drink though. I could understand if he went to the gym or played poker stuff like that but not getting tanked then coming home. I feel you shouldn't do that if your married w/children. Maybe he has a different point of view than you. You should talk to him and come up with a compromise.

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