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Master Manipulators -- Please repost Characteristics and Need Advice regarding these people
June 14, 2006
3:28 pm
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smiling
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Someone had posted the characteristics of Master Manipulators. Can someone please post that again.

Also, I wanted to know, how do I confront my former boss. He's a very powerful person, and the circles run small in the industry i am in. He is attracted to me and I can't say I am not. But I don't want to have an affair -- after advice from you I realized, I would dig myself into a bigger hole. So I took that advice and have stayed away. But now, I think he thinks I am avoiding him which I am. But others use my name to speak with him, so they tell him what I am doing and pursuing. Also, he's listed on my resume. With he being so powerful, I think potential employers have spoken to him to find out what he thinks of me. There was a very promising job, one that I was very qualified for, new the hiring manager, hr liked me, etc., but I didn't get the position. I know my former boss had interaction with the hiring manager (I won't go into detail how I know, but trust that I do know). I was supposed to interview with them, and never heard anything. So I contacted HR and found the job was just filled! (Not by an insider.) Never even got called in. This now has happened a few times. So I have to suspect that my former boss is playing role in this. What should I do? Should I confront this man? I don't want to make matters worse but want to smooth this over. I need a job and can't keep losing opptys that I would be really good for. Please advise.

Thank you!
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June 14, 2006
3:51 pm
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Question, do you have concrete evidence of what was said about you in the conversation with this man and the hiring manager? Would there be a witness to that could back that up? What you have described, and I do believe what you are saying really happened, is sexual harassment. I think confronting someone like this is not a good idea. People that do the kinds of things he is doing is a power freak. Believe me, I have been in the same situation. He finds this fun because you did not stroke his ego when you kept to your self. He is obviously used to getting what he wants and you didn't give it to him. I confronted someone I had this problem with and he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about and acted like it was me who had the problem. Unfortunately, you probably can't go to your Human Resources (by the way, legally you should be able to.) Be very careful here or it could affect your whole career. If you are serious and have enough information, witnesses, you could contact the Department of Labor and they might perform an investigation..don't know if you want to take that risk. Other than that, getting a job elsewhere is sometimes the answer, don't know if you are open to that?

June 14, 2006
3:59 pm
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on my way
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If you can afford an attorney....PLEASE SEE ONE RIGHT AWAY!!!! who deals with employment issues. Sounds like this boss said something to KEEP you there with him...it is a losing situation. If you see an attorney, at least it will all be documented, when you finally decide to leave (a good idea i think to leave?)so that he does not pull revenge and lie just to keep you there. He sounds like a very sick man to me! An attorney an at least give you a consultation and advise you how to exit, and what to do upon obtaining another job..wow, incredible that some people are like this isn't it??

June 14, 2006
4:16 pm
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Hi there!
I have been seperated for over a year now and I still feel linked to this man. I have children with him and he has not been doing very well. Seing a psychologist for 1 year and a half and I can see that he is not being real. I was told by my social worker that he may show signs of narcissism and I will never be able to help him. He can call me sometimes up to 100 times a day. He has been on long term disability for over a year now, has not cut his hair since I left (cause I have been his hair dresser since 1993). I am quite concerned and feel guilty. He claims acknowledging his behaviors in the past but seems to be in denial of the concequences. He is into gambling, porno and in my book "a pathelogical lyar". He managed for years to blame all on me claiming I was sick. Each time i had to confront him with issues, it was always my fault, my imagination....and i use to believe it. Since I have been stronger, he has use different tactics such as threats, violence and more. He always wants control and If I dont give in, he gets worse!!!
I am working really hard to build my life but he doesnt want to let go and I fear the concequences if I dont give him a little attention such as simply listening to him becaue he says he needs to hear my voice, needs to talk to me. It goes from one extream to the other. If I am nice to him, he will tell me I am the smartest, kindest, sweetest person. If I piss him off by not wanting to discuss, i become the bad person and I wont even write the words he uses tpwards me. Anyhow, I just started seing my social worker today and she will teach me how to speak with him, how to deal with him before I go insane....
If anyone has been through something similar, please ..advice would be great !!!

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