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mass confusion in my world
January 10, 2006
6:30 pm
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depressionsucks78
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ok, so...i just had a sudden thought. if i don't "write" it down it will be lost for good.

i was thinking that i might be codependent, but now, thinking about it more, i'm not so sure.

i tend to hang on to people for dear life once they are a part of my life, but people i SHOULD "hang on to", ie, family...i push away. i live with my sister, and i refuse to ask her for ANYTHING.

like right now, i just went and had my taxes done and paid an extra 130 bucks to have my return in a week. i did this because my bank account is overdrawn, and i need to pay my bills, but i did not tell my sister, or ask for her help in any way.

she would be willing to help me if i asked, i'm sure. but i won't do it.

shoot...i just realized i have to leave for therapy...will continue this later.

January 11, 2006
10:29 am
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Anonymous
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part of being codependent is being a "people pleaser". and often, if we feel like we are "not worthy" and can't please the ones we love - we push them away, so they can't see it, or so they don't know we are "not worthy".

we are afraid they will judge us - and don't want to feel the rejection.

sometimes it is just easier to cling to people that don't know us well - cuz we can "hide" the bad parts.

Also - if a stranger says we are "bad" or did something wrong - we can say "what the hell do you know - you don't know me" - but if a family member says we did something wrong or are "bad" - we can't say that - cuz they DO know us.

Also - we don't want our family members to think we are weak, needy, vulnerable, incapable or anything else - so we hide things out of shame.

I think this part of the equation you talk about has more to do with our self esteem than codpependency.

I think that codependency has more to do with picking partners or friends that aren't good for us. It isn't unusual to be codependent on family members - some do - but mostly it's about being codependent with boyfriends or friends.

Hopes this helps.

January 11, 2006
3:05 pm
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depressionsucks78
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ok, i didn't forget about this, my friends daughter had her baby last night and i was at the hospital all night after therapy.

i have to go to work now, but i'll be back later.

thanks ali. i guess i am way more codependent than i thought.

January 14, 2006
2:42 am
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depressionsucks78
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ok, i don't know what the hell i am. besides really fucked up in the head. i have come to the conclusion that my thought process is way messed up. there is not a soul on earth who thinks the way i do. i'm gonna be all alone the rest of my life because of this.

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