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MARRIGE ISSUES
June 22, 2007
4:18 pm
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taj64
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September 30, 2010
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hey there. I don't think we are supposed to be giving out our emails but I read your thread and boy your heart is aching. I can feel it. Sigh. What do do huh? It is a toughie but I think you just need to take that focus off this man right now and focus on what you need. You think you need him but really you don't. You just need to get more centered with yourself. come on, you look in that mirror and love yourself and find the answer there. Nobody is perfect in this world. Raising 4 kids is a handful yes but that doesn't make you less of a person or someone with baggage. So what, you cheated and so what he cheated, this is all history and time to forgive yourself for something that has happened. You learned from it and you move on. If you don't want to be with him don't. Love is not always the glue. It is part but cannot always hold the whole package. You need a lot of things besides love. Let this man work on himself and his problems. He is relying on you to help him and he cannot rely on every who is within reach. He did the crime, the time, now he has to go through the process. Make sure he is not using you because he has no where to go. You are stronger than you realize. Look at you, you raised 4 kids and this guy was in jail for time. You got by then, you can do this alone. You can learn a lot when you are alone. That is how you find yourself, when you are alone. Good luck, you have a heart of gold, give it to someone who is trustworthy, someone who really does indeed deserve it.

June 22, 2007
4:54 pm
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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September 24, 2010
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I have to point out that giving out emails is AGAINST policy and may get you banned from posting. To rectify this, email the site coordinator immediately and admit the mistake and ask your post to be amended...and don't do it again...would hate for you to lose your support.

Now - it is hard to put cheating behind you. And I am sure it's hard for him to forget that you were with someone else as well.

It's hard to heal that hurt - and you may need some therapy together to get thru this.

BUT - if you don't love him - don't stay for the kids sake.

You mention nobody will love you with four kids...get out, learn to stand on your own two feet...support yourself...enjoy life...some man WILL fall for you....but if you stay unhealthy and stay weak...you will only attract guys who want to take advantage of your situation.

My best friend had three kids when she met her husband...and they had a fourth together. They are happy.

You may not find true love right away...but some day, when you are in a better place mentally, you can, and will.

good luck to you.

June 22, 2007
4:56 pm
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telnisha
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September 30, 2010
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THANKS TAJ64, BUT IF HE IS USING ME, IT ISNT FOR THE HOUSE BECAUSE ITS HIS HOUSE, WHILE HE WAS IN JAIL HIS MOTHER WAS PRETTY MUCH TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND ME, I HAVE ALWAYS RELIED ON SOMEONE, WHETHER IT WAS MY MOM,DAD, OR MY HUSBAND.YA I TOOK CARE OF MY KIDS ALONE, BUT I DIDNT HAVE A JOB, ITS HARD TO GET ONE, SINCE I'VE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE AND NOONE WANTS SOMEONE WITHOUT EXPIERENCE. THANKS, AND IM TRIENG TO FIND MYSELF AND WHO I AM.

June 22, 2007
6:07 pm
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nappy
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September 29, 2010
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You should learn to stand on your own two feet before you start looking for a man.
You need to learn to take care of yourself and your childrens.
You are a very young woman and we see alot of these womens like you at our church that we are trying to really help.
I am letting these womens know that just because you see this man, I don't care what he got, how he look or what he drives, everyone HAS BAGGAGES. And there is not a living soul that will say they don't have any, it goes to both woman and man.
We have young womens that looks so old because they are growing up so fast and they don't have to. Life is hard enough when it is just you but it is even harder when you have childrens and a husband at a very young age.
Nappy!

June 23, 2007
7:11 pm
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chikana
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September 29, 2010
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I am not sure I would be the right person to give an advise about marriage or how to handle any situation with your partner because I don't how to handle mine. However, I believe you should give sometime to yourself telnisha and then time will tell. There is a saying " what started wrong, ends wrong. Well that is a hispanic saying. I tell you this for a fact. It happened to me and sometimes I regret it.

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