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Marriage and codependency
June 9, 2009
8:38 pm
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Buckma
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So I am facing this issue. My x and I have been split for four months. We have three little kids who are wonderful and dealing really well. They are young. I want a divorce in the worst way. We had a bad marriage. Not for the really horrible reasons like being physically or sexually abused or drug addictions. His addiction was cars and I guess I was just really codependent. I let him do what ever he wanted and never told him no. It ended with me being severely depressed, huge anxiety problems, and horrible nightmares. It was very stressful for me. Especially with being basically a single mother of free but having to deal with being in the relationship. I want the divorce but I have been spending too much time considering what everyone else thinks. I'm so mixed up.

June 10, 2009
6:52 am
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Serendy
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You must do what you feel is right for you.It dosen't matter what anyone else thinks.You have to look after yourself to stay strong.I found this out years ago.I wanted to change my life and was worried about what everyone else would think>Guess what when I made the move.No-one was bothered.Much to my surprise.The only thing is as we are co-dependant it is a hard blow to take to realise that.And you need to be prepared to be out there on your own.But you are not on your own as you have your three children.Everything will work out fine,whatever pathway you choose..You are a child of the universe and you are being taken care of.

June 12, 2009
9:38 am
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Lanigirl
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Hey Buckma,

If mama isn't happy, no one is happy. I know you said your little kids are doing really well and I hope it's so but know that they pick up on everything. The everything they pick up on can change them.

You're not mixed up. You know in your heart exactly what to do. Give yourself permission to act on it.

June 12, 2009
2:04 pm
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CAMER
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how many years were you married??

do what you have to do, not what other want you to do (that is part of being codependent!)

take the time to find out what you want, a divorce or not, counseling or not, what YOU want, its your choice and I am sure whichever road you choose, you will be fine.

August 5, 2009
9:40 pm
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daisy
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I am sorry I am not at the point I feel I deserve to give adivice but I just wanted to comment that I can empathize with your situation. My husband has an obsession with baseball and sports. For 11 years it was always about him and baseball. I was very disappointed once we had our son 3 years ago and baseball was still all that mattered. I was always hopefull things what change and me and my son would be put before his love of baseball.

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