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Marital problems help?
October 31, 2012
2:07 pm
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iamshakabu
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October 31, 2012
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Hello everyone i am new to this forum and hope to here some great advice 🙂 me and my wife had been dating 3 years and have been married for 2 months now. i am 20 and she is 22. our whole relationship i have been the only one working she had a few small side jobs that would bring in $20 or so here and there which she would use for whatever. i have housed her payed the bills all of it. just recently we moved back in with my father to help him with his bad health issues. she just recently started working part time and my hours got drastically cut down from approx 35 down to about 12 a week. i decided to go back to school. i am now done with school and certified as a personal trainer as this is a clientle based job im not bringing a whole lot home for now. i am working both jobs as a trainer and my other job. i still have enough income to pay all our bills but am struggling with gas and food money. i know i am not bringing in enough right now but im working on it. i have applied at hospitals nutrition centers and other places in my field.

 we are going through a rough financial time but when i ask her to help with money she refuses and starts an argument on why she should help when im not a good provider and im not even trying to be a good provider, she tells me that i dont have an income, i dont bring ANY money home and that she shouldnt have to either. i try to reason with her that i do have a n income and i pay the bills , i just had my second interview at a nutrition shop and im waiting for the final call. but she says its not good enough because im not bringing enough home now. she just spent over 300$ shopping online whuich really put us in  a hole. i tried to talk her out of it but she did it anyway. she keeps all her money either at her job or her moms house. i am at my wits end and dont know what to do here, this is one problem there is plenty others that leave me feeling that i should get a marital seperation. she refuses to work as a team during our hard times. a few weeks a go i pulled out some money from the bank for bills because again she was going to spend money on things she wanted but was going to leave us  with out car insurance and food money. she tells me how wrong it was for me to do that etc. can anyone offer advice or some things i can try. she does not want to go to marriage counseling either. Thank you all in advance.

November 1, 2012
1:03 am
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ShiningLight
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She seems not cooperating at all and that is really hard. Maybe it's best to consult a counselor alone first so you can gather some good advice and recommendations for your current situation. If it works then slowly convince your wife to join with the upcoming sessions together. Sooner or later she will realize her own shortcomings. Also, to aid your financial problems you can go ahead and consult a credit/financial coach so you will both have proper ways on how to manage your income and other expenditures.

November 3, 2012
5:55 pm
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dop
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December 20, 2011
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You said you were taking care of her financially for the
three years you had been together before you got married. So we can’t say that
she changed in that respect after you got married. When things took a financial
turn for the worst you saw a side of her you didn’t know existed. Shining Light
gave you some good suggestions. She probably doesn’t want to go to counseling
because she fears being called out. This way she can continue her demands
without a third party interfering. You’re in a tough spot. You got married young
and you maybe mature enough to take on the task but she might not be. You are
right in expecting that you both act as a team. As Shining Light said I think marriage
counseling is the answer. If she doesn’t want to go you’ll have to take a
closer look at what this relationship means to you.

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