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Mamacinnamon....are you around?
October 26, 2006
3:51 pm
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Hi mamacin,

Want to post an email from my sis to you...just in regard to the other posts that I posted a few weeks back. Guess I may just need to vent. But it aggravates me. Will check back shortly. Won't post until you are here..

thanks!!!!

omw

October 26, 2006
6:47 pm
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OMW: I'm here. 5:45pm cst. I'll be poppin in and out a bit but am here.

You go ahead and post and vent all you need to.

October 26, 2006
7:08 pm
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Thanks, hi. Just getting back in here. Here is the email:

"Dad says you're having a tough go with Chris. Just so you know, I do love you and I am always here for you. I told you that when we had our "give me some space" conversation. I've been in NPB since last Thurs. - on my way back today - worried about Mom. She's not sounding good and half the time she doesn't answer her phone.

Call me if you want to talk --- but don't expect any advice - I've given up being the older sister!

Love, D"

You know, I know if I start talking to her again, it will all end up the same way ..... again. I didn't respond. I love my sister, but she is so clueless. I hate broken relationships, but sometimes they just have to be broken to be fixed I guess. But I thought...this is such an email of guilt and basically she wants to know if I have seen my mother or not (eventually) so she can blame me again.....

these are my thoughts anyway...would you mind giving me your perspective?

thanks so much,
hugs...hope you are hangin in!!

October 26, 2006
7:32 pm
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OMW:

Having a sister myself I think I see what's coming...Real quick-like... Growing up my mom was severly depressed which left me to care for my younger sis and 2 younger bros. My mom and I never got along; not till maybe 10 years ago. Still don't sometimes I think. On the other hand my sis was ill as a child. She was epileptic due to menongitis. So mom babied her and NOBODY bothered sis. As an adult mom and I can tolerate each other. But as for my sister, she despises mom and when it comes to doing anything for mom she says "and why am I doing this for mom?" I say coz it's your obligation. lol. That said I'll try to answer unbiasedly.

It looks like your sis wants to help. BUT that she doesn't want to be bothered w/ it in a way. I feel that coz she wants to know what's goin on but will give no advice. Almost reminds me of someone that just has to know everything and then will use it for their own good when profitable for them. Know what I mean?

That "I've given up on being the older sister" comment tells me she has some hurt feelings there. Whether you did it or she just perceives it, she feels it. I think.

Yes, I am sure in the end she'll throw the same ol, same ol up in your face. She's not been in counseling to solve her issues has she? Then don't expect anything different.

I'd just kindly say... don't feel like talking about it now; we'll talk later and blow it off to that. In that way you are not bein a brat or hard to get along w/. If she cannot respect your space then she doesn't deserve your respect.

How's that? 🙂 I hope it helps.

October 26, 2006
7:34 pm
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And, there is no apology, no recognition of how she may have hurt me...which trickled down to my boys, it hurt my father, and if my mother had known this again, it would have hurt her all over again, since the last time she did it. I can forgive her, but how can someone think they can treat someone that way and NOT apologize? Then again, she may never apologize or ever even realize, unless I say something about it and then she will just fly off the handle again. I am clueless on this one.

October 26, 2006
7:34 pm
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I think we posted at the same time!!!! HA! ok will go back and read now...thank you!

October 26, 2006
7:44 pm
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Thanks, good advice. But no matter what I say or if I say anything or not it will be taken wrong. I don't know what she means by that comment being the older sister...she tries to fix everything even when it doesn't need to be fixed. Me fears that this one goes WAY WAY back for her. I now say it is in God's hands, as I truthfully do not have any answers.

thanks for writing back.
hugs to you.

October 26, 2006
7:55 pm
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I think you are right when you say this one goes WAY WAY back for her. My sis is so caught up in the past that she cannot let go of anything and is usually hateful and doesn't realize it in my opinion.

Yes, I am afraid I agree w/ you on this one that it is one for God's hands.

Sometimes it's better to back off and not say anything. You know she will want even harder for you to tell her and she'll ask more. Stand your ground tho.

I know w/ hubby that he'll ask and I KNOW when I tell him how I feel he'll explode. He did ask but he cannot deal w/ my emotions. Although I don't think my emotions are any different than anyone else's would be. And if you say "try to see how I feel" that is not the point and he refuses and I'm just causing problems.... sound like your sister???

October 26, 2006
8:02 pm
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yes it does sound like her somewhat. She asks maybe 2 times per year, and that is enough for her. I am ususally the strong one there for her. Can't handle the emotions...yep sounds familiar, and I just don't get it...I think it goes even for your hubby...my sis...thinks she has to 'fix' every minor detail of everyone's life, and if she can't she hates herself. But she doesn't ever stop to see anything except from her own point of view. ...very narrow minded...and I am here to serve her according to her, and my boys, although out there hustling, are less than my nephew and always have been. I am treated as if I am not valuable. If I beleived her, I would hate myself...but I'll tell you, I beleived her for a long time. Not anymore.

Will think on this more for you and what you feel.

October 26, 2006
8:19 pm
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Damn!! OUCH!!

I hate when life hits you in the face.

Thanks for bein here for me too OMW, honestly. Sometimes things are right there in front of you and yet not quite obtainable. You just hit him right on the mark.

Now I have to go ponder also.

October 26, 2006
8:24 pm
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yep...and the emotional involvement given goes only as far as the self esteem goes, or how effective they may feel...can't handle anything less.

ok..tomorrow.

October 27, 2006
1:26 pm
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Hi Mamacinnamon,

Hope your day is going well. I have NADA else to say about this. No wonder our country is in such a mess, families can't even get along....have been posting on the GOP Satan thread in Libs. Where would we all be if we didn't believe in a purpose for everything??? Faith...it keeps me from making mistakes, but in my own ignorance, sometimes I wonder if it keeps me too safe in my box. geesh!

Keepin' it all in my heart & prayer..
hugs dear one,

me

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