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Making the leap of faith...
May 30, 2005
3:31 pm
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2bfree
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I'm so grateful that I found this site...!
Here's my story--- married almost 9 years to a HEAVY pot smoker (daily use for 23+years). I was a part of the lifestyle as well, but have grown out of it. 2 kids, "nice life", but some big events in the past 2 years. He's been arrested twice for possession, totalled our car while drunk, and also got a separate DUI. The recent arrest/DUI combo was the straw that broke the camel's back. We've been going to counseling together since then, but I'm thinking its time to go our separate ways.

I guess what I'm reaching out for is some words of encouragement. He's one of those guys who is oh so wonderful in every other way, but can be a bastard when I try to discuss his pot use (has been extremely verbally abusive and threatening to the point where I fear his anger), and he's a great dad, but I'm just SO done with waiting for the next disappointment. So, it looks like we're going to split (he doesn't want to) and I"m scared to death.

Scared of it being something I'll regret deeply, scared of the thought that I'm insane or overreactive....

Anyone else out there made the big jump? Thank you...!!!

May 30, 2005
6:29 pm
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Randomwomen2
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i have not made that jump myself i am not ready to. I think you would regret it more if you stay in this relationship. You sound like you have been through a lot with this man. I know about the drug life I had to move out of my moms house when i was 17 cause of her drug use. It is not a good invoronment for anyone to be in yet alone children. You are a strong person for even considering it. I hope you do what is best for you and your children
Love
Julie

May 30, 2005
7:35 pm
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cpt1212
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never been there, but can tell you from experience that staying together for the kids is not such a hot idea. they are always smarter than you think and your unhappiness is evident to them even if you dont think it is good luck!

May 31, 2005
1:35 pm
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2bfree
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It means a lot to me to hear from people.... sometimes its hard to only hear the "only you know what's the right thing..."

I guess I do know what the right thing is, but it still makes it so damn hard. We're meeting with the marriage counselor tonight to finalize some things. He's calling his family today to tell them.

We're going to have to tell the kids soon, which is going to be very hard as well.

May 31, 2005
5:12 pm
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artist 2
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Does your decision have to be absolute? Can you just move out for a while? Someone here a while back cautioned me against seeing things in black and white.

May 31, 2005
7:27 pm
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2bfree
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It doesn't need to be so absolute, but my husband tends to lean heavily toward that way of dealing with it.

It's been hard to him to understand that I can feel both love for him and need to separate from him.

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