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made up??
May 7, 2010
3:52 pm
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innerturmoil
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Hey all... Just curious..
do u think some people get on here and 'make up' stories/lives personas.... just to 'get attention' and get other people involved and payin attention to them????

just wonderin if that has happened or if anyone knows a case of it happening..

just curious...
(i dont think people would.. but i would hope they would not....)

maybe,,, im bein paranoid (just part of my co-dependency) :]

May 7, 2010
4:11 pm
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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I think for me I would prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt...I think the pain it would cause another human being in calling them a liar when they are in the midst of seeking help would be at the very least...cruel.

If they are...its on them and theire conscious...not mine. I do not feel anyone here has the right to judge anyones story...

My take on it....

May 7, 2010
4:34 pm
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sexychoclady
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Wow i hope not. Know time to play make believe,alot of people are hurting on this site..

May 7, 2010
7:01 pm
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innerturmoil
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hi
BFG.. sorry,, im not tryin 2 call anyone a 'liar' on here, i know people come on here in crisis and hurting....
i would just hate 2 think of anyone doin that to the people on here,, cause every1 is so nice and understanding and we all have real problems.. just wonderin ..thats all..
i guess ur right .. it would be on them and their conscious.. :}

hi sxychoc...nice 2 meet u! :}

i was just wonderin,,, ive not run across any1 like that,,
thx

May 7, 2010
7:48 pm
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StronginHim77
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I've been on these threads for nearly 4 years now. During those 4 years, I have seen two threads which I thought might have been "bogus" (made up). Needless to say, I have never had any proof that such was the case...just a sort of gut instinct, by observing how they would "hit" with something catastrophic, then run. Never heard from again.

So, I think it's possible, but definitely rare.

- Ma

May 7, 2010
7:53 pm
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CAMER
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hi inner....i think some "new posters" may do things like that, but they don't stay on these threads too long, just for a few days or a week then "boom" they are gone.

us regulars, nope, i don't think any of us we are true, kind hearted people would never do such a thing.

May 7, 2010
9:41 pm
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_anonymous
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This site is supposed to be anonymous.There is no way of knowing. Everyone is in a different place when it comes to their journey towards healing. Each person is doing whatever they feel they need to do to get whatever they need from this site.

May 8, 2010
1:07 am
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chelonia mydas
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This question has been brought up in the past and in some cases people have been deeply hurt by accusations of this sort.

My take is that the benefits of accepting and being accepted far outweigh the need to know someone else's truth.

Having an anonymous site means I accept that I will never know anyone else here except by the story they share. Its a good trade off from my perspective because I couldn't share what I do here if I thought I would actually meet anyone in real life. If that means that I may on occasion offer support for a fictional story, then so be it. Even if it is fiction, the person on the posting end and the many more people on the reading end have an opportunity to grow from that support.

Many people read these threads that never post. They get their support from identifying with some aspect of someone elses post and getting advice through the support of those that are supporting the other person. So even if there is a fictional story here, the interaction between the liar and the other posters offering support, could very well help others in similar situations to the fictional one.

The support I receive from other posters and provide to other poster helps me on my own healing journey. That growth doesn't change based on the truthfulness on their side. I look at it in this way: if someone is making it up and it helps me its like taking a sugar pill for a headache and the headache goes away. Since the end result is that my headache is gone, am I going to be upset that I took sugar instead of asprin?

If offering support and receiving support helps me through a tough time, do I really need to prove the truth to it?

Yes there is the argument of wasted time/effort/emotions, but that is something the person spending that time should evaluate. We only have control over our story. Everyone else's stories are there's and they need to be responsible for them. Its not our place to assume that responsibility. Us codies especially benefit from this evaluation because we should be practicing worrying about our lives and only helping others after we have helped ourselves and if they want that kind of help. If we are doing the opposite, then it is an opportunity to grow.

The damage that could be done by falsly accusing someone as a liar is just not worth knowing the truth. So many of those abused have been through this experience that if we started doing that on these threads, we would create the possibility that they would be not beleived again. The pain of that would keep many people from posting who have legitimate reasons to be here, who need the support fo the site.

There are probably half truths and some outright lies on these threads. But I'm sure the true stories far out weigh the partly true or not at all true scenarios. The ability to be anonymous, help third party readers and ensure we do not falsly accuse someone of lieing is why seeking the facts behind someone else's story would significantly and negatively change this board and the quality of support offered here.

May 8, 2010
8:20 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Mydas...that was truly a beautiful loving post...thank you.

This hit a nerve with me cause of my horrific past and the fact that a psychistic once said he did not believe me...I thought about smashing my car into a wall on the way cause I could not calm down....later I found a dr who was very upset by his unprofessional response.

I am sorry but this thread hurt me a lot and I know the intention was not directed to me or anyone on here...but I feel its counterproductive to what this site has been intended for...

And just because a person does not stick around does not mean they were lying either...maybe someone died...maybe they had a life crisis or anymore puter access...we never know why...let's not sit here and judge things we will never knOw about.

May 8, 2010
9:20 am
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Mugsie1.0
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Regardless if the story is false, if our words help another, even if it is not the original author, then so be it.

May 8, 2010
9:26 am
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Lanigirl
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Inner,

Haven't heard from you in awhile.

Whatever the case, I know posting here and reading the posts have helped me on my way.

May 8, 2010
9:27 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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I just hope now if someone has a story which is *hard to believe* that person will now feel safe to post it here now....I already do not share things as it is.

I just hope new posters will post now...

May 8, 2010
3:11 pm
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andii
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lol...perhaps BFgirl, perhaps....

May 8, 2010
3:12 pm
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Hi andii:)

May 8, 2010
3:41 pm
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innerturmoil
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Hi,
Chelonia M..
ty for ur post... i love u for that.. u always say things in such a thoughtful/insightful way..
🙂

BFG... i was not directing my original post 2 you or anyone on here...
im sorry for upsetting you..

hi, Lani,, how r You???
hope every1 has a wonderful mother's day..

and sorry if i "offended" anyone...
(((hugs)))

May 8, 2010
4:50 pm
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innerturmoil
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also,
meant 2 say "hi" Camer!! how r you??

BFG... i dont know ur story,, so i am not judging u (or anyone) noone on here 'judges' people.... i was simply wondering if anyone had encountered anything like that.. but i agree with Chelonia..... like even if a post wasnt 'totally truthful' and it helps another person.. well we are better off for that.. 🙂

thank u all for ur input and i hope i havnt made an 'enemy for life' with u BFG.. like i said idk your story...

---do u have a thread on here now--
Please dont let me (or anyone else) stop u from posting.. there are many helpful people on here who have helped me [email protected]!

May 8, 2010
5:59 pm
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Gosh...your not my enemy! I had an differernce of opinion...no ill feelings:)

May 9, 2010
6:40 am
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andii
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Hello back at you BFgirl!

May 9, 2010
9:02 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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(((Andii)))

May 11, 2010
3:44 pm
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curious64
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inner - I'm not going to lie,sometimes I have wondered the same thing. I think it is just because some of what people are going through is so awful we just hate to think it really is happening to another human being.

True or not I think all the comments on a thread can bring help and healing to those reading it. Just wanted to let you know you were not alone in thinking that could be possible.

May 11, 2010
4:03 pm
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Why bring it up again? Has not enouigh pain come out from this thread or is there some reason why you are fanning the flames again?

May 11, 2010
10:18 pm
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_anonymous
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This thread was not directed towards any thread, post, or nick. I believe that the person who started this thread had a legitimate question.

Chelonia had a great response that IMHO put this issue in its proper perspective.

May 11, 2010
10:21 pm
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curious64
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bfg - I am sorry for all of the pain you have endured in your life. I see you in a lot of threads and you have been through more than anyone should have to go through.

I'm sorry that my comment upset you, but this is supposed to be a place for people to be honest and comment where they feel the need. It was not directed at any person and I have reread my comments and I do not apologize for my words. There was nothing hurtful in them or their intent.

I am sorry that your are so deeply wounded and in so much pain. I hope that you are able to find healing and peace. (hugs)

May 11, 2010
10:37 pm
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_anonymous
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BFG. To be honest I felt that the question you asked on another thread about Free had the potential to instigate trouble. I dont think that it is very productive to ask people why they hate someone. Please leave the past in the past.

May 11, 2010
10:38 pm
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_anonymous
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(((andi))). How was your mothers day? Maybe we could get a pet thread going.

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