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Made Apointment to See Counselor
September 21, 2006
4:22 pm
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gracenotes
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I have been in the mode recently of really seeking others' advice. This is not how it has always been for me. I posted elsewhere how a lot of sadness is coming up as no contact goes on, and something regarding this ex situation has been going on for over three years.

On Monday, I was feeling very tearful, had more than I could stand, and I decided to get an additional opinion at the website called elderwisdomcircle.orgwhere I can submit an email and get an answer from an older, experienced person. The response I got was that this writer thinks I had been tramatized by my siuation (talked about in the No Contact --Reveltions postings) and, yes, this has been creating an nightmare situation in my life. This person who responded is a mental health pro and suggested that I seek therapy to deal with the trauma. She said a lot of people over the years were helped by this kind of therapy called EMDR. Wow, I never thought of this as a trauma, but the more I think about it, -- having a person I have admired for years adn finally get to study with personally suddenly dump me for reasons I have yet to undestand, invalidate me, call me names, and then call me a sicko because I want to make amends (amends for what, not sure, but just wanted to make amends) -- the more I think about this, it really is a trauma. I zeroed in on finding a therapist, per her suggestions, who does EMDR, a short-term type of therapy that has been proven in studies to remove or at least lessen the pain of trauma. I could even possibly get results in one session. I can't especially afford this, but I decided to make this a priority anyway.

Am just posting this again, as I think it got buried in another thread with a lot else going on. I think this site is wonderful, and I also think the idea of elder people responding to life's questions with their vast experience is a great idea too.

September 21, 2006
4:39 pm
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lovinglife
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(((Grace)))~ I did that "EMDR" a few years back. Told my therapist I'd give it a try not really believing that it would help- it has something to do with eye movement…it was strange. Anyhow I did it and what I was going through stopped. Told him that after my sessions (think I had a few of them).. "yeah maybe it did worked as I'm feeling is better now..." though I still didn’t believe it had anything to do with the EMDR. And just a side note….I should have continue on with more talk therapy stuff afterwards but didn't. Had a life to get on with : )

And yes, what happened to you is an emotional trauma-I really believe why it's so hard for many of us to let go - we've been deeply wounded-emotionally.

So glad that you found another resource to use and thanks for sharing that here.

LL

September 21, 2006
4:40 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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I think that anyone with experience makes great teachers, even if they don't realize how valuable they are.

that's why these sites are helpful.

I am thankful that you found some answers in another site - and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that this therapy works for you.

September 21, 2006
6:55 pm
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gracenotes
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risingfromtheashes,

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I have my first appointment next Wednesday. Will keep everyone posted.

lovinglife,

I am so glad to hear that EMDR worked well for you. It has worked well for a few others I have talked with. I think this thing about how you had difficultly believing eye movements could so much help this problem is because people aren't used to solving problems this way. It becomes this thing that happened outside the everyday realm of things. I have had a little experience with another method somewhat like this (sadly, person doing this is no longer around), and my experience was that the negative emotional charge (sadness and anger, in that case) of the experience was no longer there, although I still had the memory of what happened. But, then, I could think more clearly about things and put the pieces together. Probably, if you had stayed with the therapist, he or she could have integreted the "why" of what happened better, but, nevertheless, it was still helpful and that is so good to hear. There's a lot of good info on the EMDR website, including referrals to trained therapists, if anyone is interested.

September 22, 2006
1:24 am
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gracenotes
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October 6, 2006
6:57 pm
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gracenotes
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Yesterday I had my first treatment session with my counselor. We did an assessment last week. The focus of this session was to do some work on the traumatic event of my ex-teacher dumping me and my beliefs around this. I went to this counselor specifically for EMDR (see wwww.EMDR.com for more info).

Well, I have to say it was a fantastic session. I wasn't that much about talk, it was about healing in a different way.

For over three years I have felt traumatized by this event that never made any sense to me. Now, today, instead of being able to think about it with a lot of emotion, usually sadness, it is simply an event that existed in the past, but does not have any big emotions attached to it. And, if seems that I more now realize what crazy behavior ex-t had regarding this. Apparently, EMDR can speed up healing. This is short-term therapy. I am going back for at least one more session to work with the therapist on my negative beliefs about my worth and competence as a person. Yes, yes, intellectually I believe I am okay, but, emotionally, that is a different story.

I highly recommend this for anyone who is stuck, traumatized, and/or wants to more quickly heal traumatizing events. Sometimes, as in my case, a problem can be resolved in one session (I'm going back for different concerns). I am tired today, but this has been just wonderful. I am free of something that has ruled my life for over three years. Something I could not will away, talk away, cry away.

Another very important note: If you ever try this, be sure to go to the website above and find a licensed, trained person from the website. EMDR, like many other therapies, is practiced by therapists who have not had thorough training, and treatment from these kinds of therapists can bring no success or more problems. A well-trained therapist will almost guarantee results. A word to the wise, because I know many of us have had terrible therapy experiences, including me.

October 8, 2006
2:53 am
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gracenotes
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Wow, this has been a wonderful day. I feel so free, making new connections. This obsessive stuff I lived with so long is absolutely GONE. I don't even want to think about it. There's something like this calm peaceful space in my mind in place of where all the left-over, unhealed entangled energy of this obsession/addiction was. I had healed a lot of this, done a lot of work on this already, but now it is so much more healed than before. Spent part of the day alone, part with friends, did an online application to a university I would like to attend next fall, took a break today from work and school stuff. Important to do that regularly. Thought about whether I would, should, or could move to a new home, taking more steps in creating a new life for myself in mid-life. Been a good day.

October 8, 2006
4:04 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I am so glad that you are receving help sweetheart. (((Gracenotes))))

October 8, 2006
9:30 pm
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lovinglife
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Grace - I was just writing up a post for another thread and mentioned a little about my experience with EMDR-had to check in with you....Amazing stuff huh?!

October 9, 2006
12:24 pm
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gracenotes
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Randomwomen2,

Thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated.

Lovinglife,

Yes, yes, yes. This is absolutely amazing stuff. Just to think, in one session an unwanted obsession was gone. Still today, there's just this space of peace and acceptance in that place in my mind where there used to be so much gut-wrenching pain, obsession that drained a lot of my time with useless stuff. This weekend was so good and I got things done that I don't think I would have unless I had had this EMDR treatment.

October 9, 2006
1:06 pm
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lovinglife
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its funny but when I first heard about EMDR treatment, I was like *ok, whatever, I'll try it..." but I was desperate. I did not believe or think it could work- and really to this day am still in a little bit of disbelief over it. It may have just been a coincidence but after the treatment I was freed from whatever *heaviness* that was going on in my mind at the time. Today I deal with lingering thoughts/issues about what got me to do the treatment but its nothing that I can't handle and really do feel so much control over it. Who knows, but I’d try it again if need be and would recommend it to others. Oh and as far as dealing with lingering issues- I only went to therapy long enough to find out what was wrong with me and to do the treatment. Didn’t do ANY type of follow up... wished I would have.

October 9, 2006
8:41 pm
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gracenotes
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lovinglife,

You could always go back and deal with lingering issues. I dealt with my major issue in the one session, but my therapist, due to her good assessment abilities, picked up that there were some other things going on with another issue that need to be addressed. I protested a little, but then realized she was right about this. Its kind of like we dealt with the present situation, but there are some past issues associated with this in need of healing. I sure am looking forward to seeing where this next session, next week, will take me.

I have done similar types of healing things, but the lack of a relationship with a person who really knew what he/she was doing was missing. For me, doing this treatment with a real, live person who I know is available, knowledgeable, can call, and that there is a good chance she will be available even in the future makes a big difference. I don't even except to do more than 2-3 more sessions at most, but these factors are important.

October 19, 2006
2:56 pm
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gracenotes
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Had my second treatment session with EMDR therapist. We explored past issues, father issues mainly. I was a great session. Again, this same feeling as with the x person. Things happened, I remember them happening, but they no longer have an emotional charge nor am I obsessively thinking about any of this. I fact, I naturally don't want to think about this.

Wow, only two treatment sessions. I have a few other things I want to work on, maybe another session or two, and this is really changing my life in a positive way.

Nothing is perfect. There have been a few days in the past two weeks, she calls it "detoxing" where all the junk of the past seems to be moving out of my system, more like feeling tired and emotional, but, two days after, I feel so utterly good. I recommend this to anyone that feels traumatized and/or needs to let go of something and is having difficulty. Info is at emdr.com

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