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Mad At Myself
October 17, 2006
7:17 pm
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cyndra820
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I did a backslide. I called him. He immediately sent me to voice mail. I feel like such a failure.

I'm emotional right now. My godson has to have back surgery for scoliosis, he's only 14. His mother is acting like a martyr. While I didn't listen to her whine and plead for sympathy (she could/should have done something sooner) I did reach out to him.

I know his sending me to voice mail isn't a personal rejection, but boy does it feel like it. That's what I get for needing him. I'm calling my mother when she gets home. I need to talk to someone.

October 17, 2006
7:32 pm
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taj64
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Don't worry that feeling of failure will pass. It is not a failure but a signal to tell you not to do it again. The feeling is not worth it. So you learned a lesson. The only person that can reject you is YOU. He didn't reject you. You did. So realize what a good person you are, that you are human, that you are loving, and that you will pick yourself right back up and move on and not call again. To do so, would hurt yourself. And you have to learn to be better to yourself.

October 18, 2006
8:33 pm
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Rasputin
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Cyndra - Honey we all did goofy mistakes in our healing journey and that's how we learn & grow. Forgive yourself and let it be a teachable moment. Develop self-love, keep your self busy with something you love and remember that if you were meant for each other it will eventually work out.

(((Hugs)))

October 18, 2006
8:41 pm
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kirikiri
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lol.tell me about kicking self for calling the ex huh!3 years i spent waiting by the phone and 3 years of money I spent on recharge cards sending messages and calling.
how tragic is that?
but you know,some of us are very emotional beings,lack the control we need when we need it but hey, so what???What makes you a better person is who you are deep inside.
with a lot of love to give.
ok and buckets of tears to shed.
but tears were made for the simple expression to paint love in form.
dont kick yourself today.

October 18, 2006
8:48 pm
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revelation
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Hey I've been there hun. At the end of the day though, its minor, a really minor setback in your journey to heal. Remember you are only human like us all, you make mistakes and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it as there are always enough people around us to do that for us. Please don't be negative on yourself, it really will only make things worse for you. A minor setback and that is all...tomorrow is a new day, try to see it as a day when you are going to be nice and compassionate to yourself (I bet you are the type of person who is nice and compassionate and oh so forgiving to everyone else right? Almost TOO forgiving?? Well, tomorrow, aim to be that way with yourself only. ok?

Make tomorrow "Selfish day" go on, try it, nobody will hate you for it (If they do its their problem).

xx
Rev.

October 19, 2006
4:01 pm
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bumper
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I have been dating this guy for 8years
and we have a five year old together.
We started out in High school and we have had our ups and downs. I don't know why but i get really angery and want to start fighting for sometimes no reason and It has recked my realship with my boyfriend and he just wants to be friends. He also says that i witch too much and act like one too. I just want my anger to stop and I just want to be happy.

October 19, 2006
4:32 pm
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cyndra820
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Thanks everyone for reminding me I'm only human. I have a bit of that dreaded perfectionist streak. LOL

I'm much better now. I was a mess when I wrote that post. Crying and if I was more flexible...

Thanks for being there.

Bumper, what makes you so angry that you want to fight?

October 19, 2006
9:12 pm
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justhinking
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Bumper, I pick fights with my husband too, well when he was here. but is it you picking a fight or is it him making you feel guilty that you picked a fight. because in order to pick a fight with someone dosn't mean your wrong, it just means that you have a lot of built up anger and he is not listening to the fights your picking thats why he wants to be friends because he dont understand. Try sitting down and talking and see where it gets you! And even if its no where well you have another 8 years to enjoy someone elses company but mostly enjoy the years you have to spend with your daughter.

October 19, 2006
9:21 pm
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Hey, sometimes we depend on undependable people. They put themselves first almost always. It seems that the only person we can depend on is ourselves.

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