Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
Lying about his age, and not admitting it.
October 31, 2006
4:13 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Im not trying to be right. I do give you credit. I just want you to see that possibly you are hoping that he calls. Im betting you are correct that it was him, just hope you can let this all go soon. 🙂 Are you trying to get out there to meet a live person? That might help you a bit, if you are ready?

October 31, 2006
8:17 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yes, I have....read my other post called:

Taking the focus of them (liars and unavailable people) and puttin it on me.

I did meet someone this weekend, and had a date last week....and we're going out again this week.

November 3, 2006
1:28 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ok, I just got another call from "Private Caller"...with no message.....

I cant know for sure if it's him....I wanted to answer so bad...but I couldnt do it. And it's killing me not knowing if it was him.....and he's not leaving a message......

Help.

November 3, 2006
1:43 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Is it worth it to be waiting by the phone for a liar to call? Go do something else to distract you. it really is not worth this pain to keep dragging yourself and wondering. It could be him or it just might be a prank call. Either way or no matter who it is calling, it is not a good person for you to be talking to anyway. Change your phone number. Don't make it easy for this person to rattle your cage like this. You're addicted to this drama and really not focused on what is really important in your life. CHANGE the way you do things even if it means changing your phone number. STOP focusing on him. Get on with your life. Send a loud message to him by getting sweet revenge - move on with your life!

November 3, 2006
1:53 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm not waiting really...I'm at work. My phone is near me..that's all. Why should I change my number for one person? I dont want to give him that much power to have to change my number.....trust me I have thought about it...but it's seems extreme...even for me...one who has to usually cut ALL strings with someone to get over it. If I changed my number ever time I got hurt...then I'd be changing numbers all the time.

November 3, 2006
2:02 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It seems to me to be extreme to panic when someone calls and wondering if it is "them" especially since you have not even met the person and you know in fact he is a liar. You are the one giving your power away, by focusing all this attention to a person who in all likelihood is not even him since you said you are at work. It could by anyone. I think you shoud be honest with yourself and realize that you are wishing it could be him. It is not. This guy, has moved on. If he was into you, he would WANT to talk to you and not be hiding. And if he is calling to get his jollies, then it is working caused you are indeed worked up.

November 3, 2006
2:22 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks.

November 3, 2006
2:31 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I hope i did not offend you because it is not my intention. Im trying to get you to be realistic and offering outside point of view. If he really wanted to talk to you, he would. Plain and simple truth. This waiting around is just torturing you and causing you to not be focused on your work. 🙂 you will meet someone else. Someone that will be grown up and call and spend time with you.

November 3, 2006
3:39 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

yeh, I admit I have been wishing it was him. But now I dont know if it was him or not. I guess the next time I have a private call I answer it and find out. Instead of wondering.

November 7, 2006
10:39 am
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

oK, So I gotta another 'private caller' on Sat. I answered it. And it was not him. I asked the person had they tried to contact me before and they said no.....so I still dont know if it was him the first 2 times. I figured it would be better to answer and find out it wasnt him than to wonder...

I am still going to counseling. And but I am still having problems. I'm just angry still. Angry that my heart has been broken by someone that I did not meet in person. How crazy is that? I dont want to carry anger around. I have done this all my life! Carry angry around over someone that did not love me the way I wanted. I cant continue like this. It seems like every single time it happens...like I just CANT be involved with someone on that level because it destroys me.

November 16, 2006
5:35 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HOLY SHIT!

The guy who lied to me about his age, and and who I have not heard from in almost 2 months, just mailed me a shirt! ( I mailed him one a long time ago when we first stated talkin...)

I guess this is his way of saying he's sorry? or he misses me? who knows? but it does make me feel good!

not sure what im goin to do, if anything. I know I will not call. maybe a thank you note in the mail?

whata yall think?

November 16, 2006
5:54 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know it shouldnt make me feel 'good'....because I dont need anyone else to make me feel good. that is codependant thinking.

But this IS what it does. It makes me think that he REGRETS what he's done, and he DOES have a consious.

November 16, 2006
6:01 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

wait a minute..this is wearin off....

I didnt want a SHIRT! I wanted the TRUTH. and he still hasnt given me that.

November 16, 2006
6:04 pm
Avatar
southgoingzax
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 79
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That's fine - you've gotten a small victory. Now, don't let him suck you back in. Celebrate that you got through to him, and then move on. I would either send the shirt back, or keep the shirt but not reply. Why? Because, what, is he trying to buy you back with a "shirt"? Aren't you worth more than that? Remember how hurt and confused you felt? So he wants you to re-engage in the game. Did you ask for the shirt? Maybe send it back with a note saying it was very thoughtful but that you don't have a need for his gift. Don't let him make you feel guilty - you didn't ask for this gift, so whatever you choose to do with it is fine. Just beware he's trying to make contact with you again.

November 16, 2006
6:09 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I didnt ask for it. And I dont feel guilty. If I choose to ignore it and not say thanks, that's my every right.

November 16, 2006
6:12 pm
Avatar
southgoingzax
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 79
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

that's right. you don't OWE him anything. Keep the shirt, if you want, but if he is really sorry and willing to talk, he would have included a note or called, right? He's just trying to get what he wants without giving you what you want.

November 16, 2006
7:52 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

this is true. Sad, but true.

November 16, 2006
7:58 pm
Avatar
chardy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Miss, if you like the shirt then keep it, if not, give it to charity. Your're worth more that a shirt. I wouldn't bother to thank him.

Chardy

November 17, 2006
8:26 am
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am worth more than a shirt.

and now that I've had some time to think about it, it just seems like he's still being avoidant, and tryin to take the easy way.

November 17, 2006
9:15 am
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree, if you like the shirt keep it and I would not bother to thank him either.
I don't think you want to go back there, when you are doing so well with becoming strong.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

November 17, 2006
10:10 am
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This shirt, put it away or get rid of it. THis shirt represents to you more than it is worth. Why bother analyzing the meaning of it? Why put so much effort into figuring out this person? He is weasel, a weasel trying to weasel. He is playing a game, and you are playing the game by continuing to be a player. So get out of the game, get rid of the shirt, and send his token back to the start in the Sorry game. Really do you want to move on from this or not? You are not going to get the truth and even if he decides to come clean, he is not going to give you what you want. You're giving way too much thought to this person who simply lied. People lie, so why do you want to feel good over this person who obviously deceived you this way? You're better off feeling angry than to give credit to this person who makes you feel good. He didn't make you feel good so why settle for a few second of feeling good. You should want to feel good for yourself not because he does something nice like send you a shirt. It is only the contact that he made which was bound to happen that made you feel good. Snakes come out of the grass to feed once and awhile don't they? Come on! it is a game to him and nothing more. And it is just a shirt, nothing more. You've got plenty of shirts.

November 20, 2006
9:07 am
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

And I get an email from him last nite that said, "hey how have you been? i miss talking to you!"

I havent responded. And the only thing I can think of to say is

"why did you stop?"

He stopped because I confronted his lie and he ran.

November 20, 2006
9:10 am
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Miss,
Again you are thinking of walking down the drama trail with this guy. Don't respond, don't engage him because if you do, it's right back down the same path you've already traveled.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

November 20, 2006
4:08 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ask yourself and asked deeply, Did he really miss you? He sounds like a casual acquaintance, where as you are still lingering over being angry to which he probably has no clue that you have put this much effort into his one little lie that he probably always tells. Please give up this person and you can easily block him. It is NOT worth this drama.

November 30, 2006
3:03 pm
Avatar
MissNhimnotWantN2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

well, some of you maybe wondering...

Yes, I did email him back...and he did call me....and he has admitted to lying to me abou this age. It seems he is just so uncomfrotable with getting older....he says he's even convinced his niece that he is younger than his sister....he says he refuses to believe that he is teh same age as some of the people he knows because they look so f*&ckin old.

Kinda shallow and weird I know.

I feel a bit of relief that he can findally admit to me...and not pretend.....and we have talked a about everday for the past week. But I know..the issue still remains.......will we ever really meet in person?

I'm not goin to persue it......
I really liked him......but I realize he has issues. I'm just going to back off.......I was strong and didnt contact him for 2 months...and contacted me......and he told me his missed talking to me......and I told him how it made me feel when he wouldnt tell the truth...then I didnt hear from him...and he said he never saw that I said hey to him online....not sure I believe that...but.....

anyway.....I will keep you all posted and may need advice. I appreciate all the advice I had gotten, from TAJ, and everyone...althought I didnt do what you guys wanted me to.

You wanted me to move on and no talk to him...but I did.....and I dont regret it.....at least not now...and hope I dont. What I hope is for my Higher Power to guide me in a direction that is best for me....even if it is away from him.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
27
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111147
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
mamahanisha, joachimfreunde, Deressamble, Neakey, ronaldcarter, Andrewank
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information