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low self esteem and insecurities
September 14, 2005
2:06 am
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sensitive
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my self esteem is so low lately and i am so insecure but i haven't always been this way. How do i go about bettering myself?? i am so confused and depressed and i just want to be happy with myself.

September 14, 2005
3:19 am
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Lass
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Sensitive: Honey, one of the best things to do in times like this is to be extra gentle with yourself. Turn off the phone. Get a good book. Take a long bath, etc. Eat, nap. Call a friend. Go for a brisk walk for a half hour. Clean the house and get your energy moving.

Then, try to do something kind for someone else without their knowing (NOT the bf).

And last, try something new, and allow yourself to do it badly. This builds confidence. Do one scary thing.

Love,
Lass

September 14, 2005
8:56 am
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CAMER
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hug yourself more, love yourself more...know how good of a person you are!!!! beleive in yourself!!!

As Lass said too, read good books, one good part of the book "Women who love too much" by Melody Beattie, tells you to cultivate your life, which means do something you "don't" want to do....it will get you out in life, and make you do things you think you can't or won't do, and it broadens your well being. Nothing to be afraid of. I need to do this more often, cuz i always "think" that i am afraid of things, until i try it out, and then think "huh, there was nothing to be afraid of".....cultivating is good!!!

September 14, 2005
12:35 pm
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taj64
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Well if you were not always this way, then you simply need to try to get back there and find that little child in you. Pour your inner love on yourself. Pamper yourself a little. Reaffirm and talk gentle to yourself. You are so worthy of love. Try to list all the positive things about yourself and list the ones that are not so positive and see if you can turn the negative things into change and those that you cannot change accept and live with. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all are human and make mistake along the path of like and forgive yourself for your own mistakes. Take time to enjoy other things in life. Know that right now it is hard, hurt, pain but feel it, and let your heart tell you what to do with it. The pain will lesson. You will feel good again. It will take time.

September 14, 2005
1:18 pm
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Rasputin
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Ditto Taj!!!! That was AWESOME ADVICE!!!

Sensitive, go to the top and type in that box self esteem. There is thread I posted in April about Self-esteem entitled "U r unique self-esteem matters" it is very good one to read.

(((Hugs)))

September 14, 2005
4:16 pm
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2bstrong
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Hello sensitive,

Good advice from all...I think it helps me to do something nice for someone--like just smiling or going out of my way to say hello to a coworker. It helps me to feel a part of the quilt of humanity.

Write yourself a little note telling you how proud you are of something you have done. Sometimes that's all of the affirmation it takes--to self, from self.

Here's one for myself right now:

Dear 2b, That was so good of you to take a walk at break instead of working through it. You inspire other people to get out and get some fresh air, when they see you walking, and how much energy you have when you come inside, it is contagious, and makes them want to be a part of the same kind of energy!

September 14, 2005
4:47 pm
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sensitive
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thank you all! it is such good advice. i know i am a good person but lately i notice that i want other people to see it. i have found that when i do things i sort of look around to see who is looking and i hope they see the good in me...it may sound somewhat pathetic but i also talk louder when i am giving advice so that the people that are close to me can be proud but when they act like they dont notice it hurts me..why do i need so much attention...it's like me knowing i am a good person is not enough.

September 15, 2005
6:57 am
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MissBaker
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Women who love too much is by Robin Norwood,

Co-dependent no more is Melody Beaty,

The first book was a better choice for me.

September 15, 2005
10:27 am
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taj64
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Hi. When you are feeling good about yourself, that is when other people will notice. Like attract like. A smile goes along way. try to smile at people even if you don't feel like it. It might help with self esteem to act friendly even if you aren't feeling this way. Seems strange at first, but part of moving on with life.

September 15, 2005
10:29 am
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Randomwomen2
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ok what do you do if you have always had lowself esteem even when i was like 5 years old myself esteem was low

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