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Love
August 20, 2001
10:39 am
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michele
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September 24, 2010
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I met this guy about 5 months ago, we talked became good friends and seems like now I could just talk to him about anything. He seems to be very interested in me and I am very much interested in having a relationship with him. The reason, I feel that he is very interested is that he calls me all the time and wants to take me out. We go out and we have a good time. I really care very much for this guy and I think about him all the time. Sometime, I lay awake in my bed at night thinking about him. But, we have not been intimate yet. The real problems that I am having is the fact that I have 2 kids in which he does not care about that, but my kids father is harrassing me to the maximum and I do not know what to do about. I have told him that I have filed a restraining order against him and that he has to stay away from me and my home. It seems like everytime I met this guy that I am interested in we end up talking about my kids father and what he is putting me through. I do not want to bore this guy nor do I want to bore myself. But, I do want him to be aware of the issues I am having with my kids father. What do you suggest that I do in these situations?????

August 21, 2001
5:20 pm
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ssshh
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August 21, 2001
5:47 pm
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Cracker
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September 30, 2010
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Dude likes you Michele. Otherwise he wouldn't be wasting his time investing the foundation in this relationship. Can't actually believe I'm sayin this, but better that you kids stay "friends" for now anyway. You got a lot on the plate right now. As Kung Fu Master says, Patience, grasshoppa! And think of it this way - could it be any effing better?! I mean, my scorecard reads: (1) Dude ain't rushing it, (2) Dude's been understanding to your situation, and most importantly, (3) Dude's still calling you all the time. This is like when the extreme dudes on Everest want to summit and there's nothing but clear skies and light winds forecasted for the next month. This one is just a walk in the park, baby.

August 21, 2001
6:09 pm
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Ladeska
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September 27, 2010
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Sometimes we do rain on our parade, ya know? Enjoy yourself with this guy. Have a good time. Your problems with the ex - are your problems for now. I'd keep them separate and if acts like an ass and comes into your space with this new guy present - he will either be a man and take care of business or he won't. Either way - you'll see what he's made of. For now, the relationship is so new - you don't want to weight it down, take it slow, get to know each other, take it easy.

August 24, 2001
9:34 am
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sighe
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August 24, 2001
4:33 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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Michele, I have a totally different take on all of this, my divorce attourney gave me the best advice ever, and of course I ignored it, but wish I hadn't. He had 8 daughters, and I guess, with over 40 years practice as a divorce attny,knew what he was talking about, but we think we know what we are doing right? By the way he never was divorced either.
I say just say no to the new fellow. Some guys like to be rescuers, love to listen, pump you full of how could you put up with all of that, I would never do that to my woman, a father huh, yada yada yada, the last guy was the worst in the world, but honey I am here for you, tell me your troubles, and I will make you feel better, and they do, butt...........
The truth is we usually go for the same type of guy, sure they look different, act different, talk different, but after a while we get beyoned the wrapping paper, and figure it out. I say finish up the divorce from the one you now must have a restraining order on, and get with your kids, who need extra parenting since dad is a flake, and put the spare time into you.Get strong, learn about you get independent, save your money, save your energy finish the war with the ex, and give your attention to the kids, who really need it, and trust me, there are all kinds of guys waiting for you when the time is right. You need to heal from the last relationship, and so do the kids. I don't care how great this guy is and if he is really grate, he will wait. He wants you the kids need you, which is most important right now? I made the mistake of falling for the guy that referred me to the attourney, I made a mistake, the brady bunch we never became, and my daughters I know now suffered for it, needless to say, I went through hell as well with the torment between the man and the kids, who wins, no one. So, think about them, the difficulty of a new man around getting things settled with the ex, and focus on serenity.

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