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Love shouldn't hurt like this!
November 15, 1999
10:16 pm
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kimberlyraymondmanuel
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September 29, 2010
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It's wonderful to be in love, it's exciting, romantic, and fun, and you feel like nothing can go wrong. Sure, like the love songs say, love hurt sometimes. You
worry, you wonder if the person you love really loves you, or if he or she is cheating you. But knowing that love hurts doesn't mean you should expect to
get hurt… to be put down, slapped, embarrassed in front of your friends, pushed, yelled at, forced to have sex if you don't want it, controlled by, or afraid
of the person you're going out with.

Getting hurt like that isn't love. It's dangerous. It's violence. It can happen to anybody, even if you're smart or popular or strong or sophisticated. And it
doesn't matter who you're seeing. It happens to girls and boys. It happens in same-sex relationships.

At first, if it happens to you or a friend, you might not get what's going on. You're thinking I can handle this. I can make it stop. Or there's no black eye;
I'm not getting pushed down a stairway. Or I shouldn't take put-down so seriously. Maybe you're thinking he only get jealous because he loves me. Or
she only slapped me to show attitude. Or she won't love me if I don't do everything she wants, when she want it. Or to show my love, I should want to
spend every spare moment with him.

Or maybe you do get it. You know thing aren't right. But you feel alone. You're ashamed to tell your friends. You're afraid the explosions and jealousy will
get worse if you tell anyone. You're afraid to tell your parents because they might make you break up. Maybe you also are afraid of losing your boyfriend
or girlfriend. Maybe you think it's worth it to put up with anything just to have someone special in your life.

Every relationship has problems and upsets. That's just part of life. But if you see patterns of uncontrolled anger, jealousy, or possessiveness, or there is
shoving, slapping, forced sex, of other physical violence - ever once - it's time to find help. Think about this. Imagine that your best friend is going with
someone who thinks and acts that way. Would it seem okay? Would you want them to stop hurting each other? Would you treat your best friend this
way?

You have the right to be treated with respect. Violence and abuse is not acceptable in any relationship. Love shouldn't hurt like this.

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