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Love dilema
October 27, 2000
11:44 am
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nino
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I been strugling for the last couple of months with a decision whether to separate from my girlfriend or endure her infidelity. I been living with my girlfriend for over a year and recently I found out she was seeing someone from work. This revelation devistated me because as it turns out I Love her, and continue to Love her. They say Love conquers all, but her betrayal was such that I don't feel I can ever forgive her, yet at the age of 37 she is the only women I have ever Love. My dilema is huge since I find that I'm misireble without her because I Love her so much, and in the other hand I'm misireble when I'm with her since she is a constant reminder of how much hurt she enflicted on me. What is the answer?

October 27, 2000
12:45 pm
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jcl
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#1 you need to define you boundaries. What are you willing to live with? Personally I would not put up with that because she obviously does not love you or respect you. You deserved to be loved and respected. I know it is hard but there are many couples that have worked these problems out but both of you are going to have to want to. I would talk to her and ask her to stop seeing him and tell her how you feel. If she refuses then you know where you stand with her. At this point I would leave because you deserve better.

October 27, 2000
3:19 pm
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nino
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Is my fault that I was not more clear. After I found out what was going on I ask my girl friend to leave and that I never wanted to see her againg. And she in fact did leave only to return the very next day. She beg for my forgiveness and she asure me she would never have anything to do with this person. That's when I strted struglin with this situation, because in the one hand I want her back, but in the other what she did hurt me like I have never been hurt before. Right now I have no will power to make a decision either way, and not being able to make a decision makes me feel worst. The botton line is that I Love her but I do not think I'll ever be able to forgive her.

October 27, 2000
3:56 pm
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grafxman
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nino,
If you can't forgive a person, you can't very well live with that person. You will always have the feeling in your gut as to weather you can trust her or not. Every time she works late, goes to the store, goes out with friends, etc... This does not produce a happy, fruitful relationship. It would end in divorce. Take some time, seperate your self from her, think about if you can forgive her or not. If you can, try your relationship slowly. Maybe living together for awile is not a good idea. Go back to dating and talking. See if the walls can come down and build the foundation again. Good Luck!

November 3, 2000
9:01 pm
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Ash
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Your on the right path, and I can relate to what you're experiencing going through it myself 8 months ago. The act of infidelity and the emotions the betrayed spouse feels is the most powerful thing you'll ever feel in your lifetime. Nothing else comes close to comparable. You will have a hard time forgiving and forgetting, rebuilding trust while trying to determine the relationship and any future it might hold. Take each day as it comes, and try to find a little bit of happiness in each. She's already agreed to total separation from the other and that's a great start. Try to leave the past in the past and concentrate on moving forward.

November 14, 2000
3:30 pm
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VMELLY
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ARE YOU ON LINE NOW? SO WE CAN TALK?

November 29, 2000
10:48 am
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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love is the greatest experience.. but sometimes it is better not to fall blindly in love... i've been told that "if you love someone.. then you should accept them for whatever they do and whatever they are" which i think is utterly ridiculous.. becuase there are guidlines and rules in life that can only make love work.. otherwise.. there will be constant conflicts.. i've experienced something similar not too long ago and it was just emotionally chaotic..which leads to alot of feelings of distrust..
i say that if she cheats on you once.. forgive her.. if she cheats on you twice.. forget her.. the feeling of love that you gave her should not be taken lightly.. so let's hope she learns from this becuase it's only human for us to make errors.. all bad things in life is forgivable ... only if she can prove to you that she is fully aware of what she did was wrong and promise to herself and you ....that will never happen again..

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