Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Love & Codependency
October 19, 2001
10:25 am
Avatar
stick
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How does one know the difference between love and codependency?

October 19, 2001
10:36 am
Avatar
pill
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

If you read my post, you'll think I don't know. BUT I think love is not expecting anything in return, and being free (independent) from the other person. Also, the other person being free to live their lives the way they want. Of course, without being neglectful to you

October 19, 2001
10:48 am
Avatar
stick
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't know the cause of my codependency, and its cliche, but I have to be true to myself before I can someone else. Meaning, I have to discover why I am this way.

October 25, 2001
2:21 pm
Avatar
pheneke
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am writing because I just broke up woth my fiance, over something stupid. And suddenly he has to think about whether or not he wants to be with me anymore. I feel sick to my stomach, frantic, anxiouse, worried, stressed. I feel lost... what do I do?

October 25, 2001
3:56 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Pheneke, go to the gym, go to the bookstore, get some books on relationship, read, get your hair done, and think about it your self, there are reasons you broke up.

Love is trust, respect, comfort,loyalty,mutual independence and it takes time lots of time.
Co-dependency is urgency, fear,paranoia, temporary relief,pain,dependency a roller coaster ride, feels like a drug, a rush, and withdrawl.

October 26, 2001
1:50 am
Avatar
amymarie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

What can I do to regain my own dreams and goals? I've spent so much time worrying that he pursues his that I forgot what mine are. I am lost! I forgot the meaning of 'fun' and I really don't remember what my dreams ever were or how to go about learning what they are now!

October 26, 2001
12:46 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Amymarie, just start writing, make a list, and COMMIT. Nothing can get in your way if you commit. Baby steps first, get into the swing of it, then there is no stopping you.

October 26, 2001
1:13 pm
Avatar
Diogenees-2000
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How can I break free of dependance on my end as apposed to my wive's?
We have shared our portion of threats to devorce eachother, on behalf of our children, for the reason that we fight way too much. our "togetherness," as a whole, has lasted for 7 years; however, this war has lasted for 4 years. For this amount of time I have exusted all posiblities of preventing the idia of devorce:
We have gone to marriage couseling;it failed because of accusations of being a liar. I have taken anger managment. That started to work; however, she seemed threatened by the progress and put my ability to manage anger to the test, thats a long story. I have taken personal counseling; conversly, the counselor encourages devorce. Now, I am frustrated again; thus, I am back in anger managment, getting nowhere in my marriage.
I need oppinions.

October 26, 2001
5:23 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Its really really hard to change the dynamics in a marriage, trust me I have been fighting them my self, just like two alcoholics that come together and one finds sobriety, the other will put the sober partner down, and sabbotage the growth process, the sobor one usually must leave, or relapse. Human behavior is so simple yet so difficult. When you live in those conditions, it does turn to rage, and ya just have to find a different way to work it out, and she can't sit back and blame you either. My first option I have given for the last few years is Relational Rescue By Phil McGraw, it makes you look at you in the relationship, and assess the relationship according to some questions he asks, keep it to your self, then offer it to her. There are so many dynamics to address in a counseling session, it usually turns into he said, she said, and there you go the same walls you ran into at home. Try to be cool for the sake of the kids, remember it takes to , and if you don't jump into the sand box with her, she will have to go to her room and sulk. Divorce is a no win for the kids, but its no good if there are to many games at home, see Ranmar's threads....... I have always tried to honor and support commitment, so I commend you for your endurance, but if it is making you sick, what's the point. Give the book a try, Its on tenth the cost of a counseling session, and makes you see some things, it would be great if you guys can work it out, but you don't want to teach the kids that marriage is war.

October 31, 2001
11:59 am
Avatar
stick
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I love my wife, but she loves to play victim and there's always some problem she has that I have to deal with. I'm drained. I feel no desire for her.

I feel I need to detach. While there are no kids, I can't let go of what has become the norm and routine.

November 1, 2001
10:12 pm
Avatar
emily
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am going to have a baby with a man I am very much in love with. Yet I cannot bring myself to trust him or belive that he loves me back, even when he tells me all the time that he does. When I was young I would feel the same way with my father every little thing he did I would become suspicius that he was cheating on my mother. Then after years of feeling like this I actually caught him with another women. I never told my mother or dicussed it with him. And now I feel the same way with this guy, always wondering, worried, I would give anything not to feel this way, its tearing me apart, as well as our realationship. Please let me know what you think I should do.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
37
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714214
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer