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Lost my sweet little dog yesterday....
November 3, 2006
11:42 pm
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veggiemom
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Thank you Bel. It is getting better. In some ways I want another pet right now so badly but I don't think I am ready. It almost feels like a betrayal if that makes sense?? I know I will get past that though. I look forward to getting to that point and bringing another little love into my life.

November 4, 2006
12:22 am
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clownface
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Dear veggiemom:

Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We had to put our dog down when she was 19 yrs old~like a family member, you know. In time, you will feel better and be in a place that you can open your heart and home to another furry critter. We actually adopted a 'rescue' this summer not to take Muffin's place (no dog ever could) but to give another helpless creature a loving home. It does get better, it just takes a little time. Again, my thoughts are with you.

November 4, 2006
4:34 pm
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veggiemom
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hi clownface...Thank you. When I do start looking for a new dog I know I want to find a rescue also. There are so many out there who need good homes.

What kind of dog was Muffin? 19 years old!! I had a little pekingese/poodle who lived to 17 and I thought that was amazing!!

November 5, 2006
10:19 am
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hopeful for change
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Sorry to hear about your loss. I am a huge dog lover, and understand I have four and they are like my babies. I have three labs and a mastiff...all living inside taking over my bed and house.

A few years ago someone poisoned one of my dogs...and at the time I only had one other. I was devastated, I couldn't quit crying or thinking about it. After the second week, I went out and got a puppy. I had guilt of replacing him, but it wasn't. Dogs are like people, no two are alike. But...I then had this cute puppy to occupy my time, and it made me smile alot. I was still sad about loosing my dog, and still am 4 years later.

Have you ever watched the movie, What dreams may come with Robin Williams? I love that movie...he gets to heaven and the first thing he see is his dog (that had died) jumping on him and licking him in the face. To me thats what it will be like in heaven, except I am gonna have a pack of dogs jumpin on me lol.

Keep your spirits up. And remember there are so many dogs that would love to have this kind of love.

hopeful

November 5, 2006
9:07 pm
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veggiemom
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I have not seen that movie...but just the thought of my dogs waiting for me in heaven makes me cry!!! I like to think that is how it will be...

I came across the little guy's little sweaters and his collar today. Didn't know what to do with them, with all of his stuff. So I just put it away to deal with later. Ouch...

Thanks to all of you who keep responding...I feel kind of silly keeping this thread going when it's been almost 2 weeks, but reading everybody's wisdom, ideas, stories...it's really helping me get through this painful time.

XOXO

November 5, 2006
10:00 pm
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lolli
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hi veggiemom,

I am so sorry for your loss. I have learned so much from all of the animals I've encountered in life. They have so much to teach us!

Unconditional love and forgiveness, playfulness and joy, loyalty and courage... I bet your little guy had all of these and more:)

I'm sure he's in a wonderful and warm place right now getting all the doggie treats and belly rubs he can handle. I know you will see him again.

hugs

((veggiemom))

November 5, 2006
11:36 pm
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southgoingzax
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hi veggiemom,

I lost my seal-point siamese cat five years ago - I left the door open by accident and she got out and hit by a car. I still get so sad and guilty when I think about it....She was a great cat, like a dog in her affection and need to be with me, she would follow me around and slept in my bed under the covers with me...

Anyway, four weeks after her death I went to the humane society just to look and I ended up adopting a blue-point himalayan. I didn't feel ready to have another cat, but I couldn't seem to stop myself - she was matted and stinky and sick - sneezing all the time, but for some reason I just acted - I couldn't reationalize my behavior. They told me she was declawed and fixed, so I took her home...turns out, she wasn't fixed, she was pregnant. Two months later she had three GUESS WHAT? Seal Point siamese babies!!! It was as if my dear siamese was giving me a final gift - three adorable babies to ease my guilt and soothe my hurt. Members of my family adopted them, so I can see them whenever I want. And the himalayan? She sometimes (when it's cold enough) sleeps under the covers with me.

Pets are irreplaceable. But sometimes, they can let you know just how much they care through some other animal in need. When you're ready, you'll know. And it's not an insult to their memory to get another pet - it can be a tribute to just how wonderful a pet they really were, to go and get another one.

I hope you are healing from your loss,

zax

November 6, 2006
2:29 am
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Daeja
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Veggiemom
My mom and I had to put my dog of 13 years to sleep(multiple illness and incontinent)I got her as a gift for being an excellent patient when I broke my middle finger in 10 places and had to have in under the skin of my stomach for 2 weeks (skin graft)and 2 surgeries. I was 9 years old. My aunt gave us a mixed terrier and dashun.Pepi-full of it 🙂
I wanted to go with her so she would have a familar face for her last moments. It tore me up... Our house cried for 3 days. One day my niece was in the family room across from my room, downstairs. We both hear her feet gallop across over our heads. We both ran out our rooms and went to look for her. My mom and her boyfriend were in the kitchen. They hear nothing. I knew from that point on she was going to always be with us.
My mom got another dog(Yorkie) 3 years later. Cody sweeties personality you ever met. He had a growth on his back that caused seizures. I also acompany him to his final moments. That one really messed me up because I saw his body go limp. He was standing. I had nightmares for 2 weeks. I would awaken with tears. My mom told me to just be strong he's not hurting but I can't watch anymore family members die in my arms. I so understand, and know that I am praying for you. Just like people, they never stop loving us...

November 6, 2006
4:22 am
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(((veggiemom)))

When our pets pass we never believe we gave them a good enough life... you sounded like you were very hard on yourself. Puppyhood is a difficult time, please don't punish yourself about the small frustrations that are natural when you are tired and dealing with the messes and destruction that go along with raising a new pup. My heart goes out to you, I meant to post the first time I saw your thread... and I still am at a loss for words. As a "single" dog mom, I know how hard it is, so please don't judge yourself so harshly- you can be sure your puppy didn't. His curiosity just got the best of him. My dog is six years old, we live in a city, and she still doesn't know enough to be afraid of cars. It is not your fault.

I know you are going to think "that is not the same as a dog" but I had a hamster a few years before I got my dog and I was being really careless... I was messing around rearanging her carrier and playing with her and I put her on the bed in my bf's messy apartment... and I even remember thinking "God, wouldn't it be awful if she crawled off the bed when I wasn't looking?" ...and still, I TURNED AROUND to get some food for her, and wouldn't you know it... she was on the floor running in and out between things and I couldn't get at her...You don't know how awful I still feel about that, but at the time, I'm sure I didn't really think she would crawl off the bed that fast. Then my bf came home and made some noise trying to help (which you are not supposed to do.. you should be quiet) and she ran into a crack in the floorboards. We looked down with a flash light could see her trying to get up to us, but she couldn't climb out. She looked frantic. I was hysterical crying. I cried for WEEKS, and I don't think I truly got over it. But I had to love something... I got some mice, before I realized I really wanted a dog as bad as some women want to give birth. I'm sorry you had to go through that loss, and have those feelings of blaming yourself, but a lot of this is hindsight just making everything look like it should have been easier. You were doing the best you could.

The loss is another thing. It's not so easy to talk away. But your heart is not going to shrivel up. It's true what Zax says, you are not being disloyal if you get another pet. If you are not ready, the time might come where one choses you and you will now you are right for each other.

There are endless numbers of dogs out there that would love to love you when you are ready. But allow yourself the time you need to grieve. As a dog lover I am in touch with the fact that they are as unique as human beings. Don't let anyone trivialize your loss either. Not everyone understands. You are in my thoughts, and I hope that you someday find a loving little companion to greet you at the door.

-ella

November 7, 2006
2:47 am
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veggiemom
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You all have no idea how comforting it is to hear your personal stories about your own pets. Some of the stories are so sad but in every one I can just feel the love you all had/have for your special pets.

For some reason this has been very healing for me. Your warmth and understanding is priceless. I am so glad I posted about losing Chazie. I did not realize so many people would share their experiences.

I am feeling better each day, yet trying not to feel guilty for feeling better!! Yes I am hard on myself!

Thank you, thank you all so very much!!!

Veg

November 7, 2006
8:07 pm
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clownface
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Veggiemom:

My Muffin, was a Shitzhu. Cutest little thing you'd ever wanna see. Brown, black and white. She brought such joy to our lives. Several years ago when I was going through chemo for Breast Ca, she would not leave my side. I'd be so sick, but there she was, my faithful companion. I'm fine now, but I will never forget the love of that little animal!

Someday i would like to get another Shitzhu. Too busy with rescues to get a AKC dog right now!!

November 7, 2006
8:09 pm
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needtoheal
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Hi veggiemom--- and CLownface

Just wanted to let you both know that

I have been thinking of you both..

Pets are wonderful.. and once again

I am so sorry for your loss, veggiemom..

love,
NEED

November 8, 2006
11:32 am
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veggiemom
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hi Clownface...a shitzu! Yes, they are sooo cute! It is amazing how animals can sense when we need them and are right there with their unconditional love.

Thank you NEED...I appreciate your thoughts so much!!

XO Veg

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