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Lost and Wondering.....
February 8, 2004
1:24 pm
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laughingrl22
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September 27, 2010
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I wrote on here a few days ago. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. Right after I turned 18 I jumped in it and I left him when I was 21. The relationship was very codependent. The relationship also consisted of non-stop abuse in every form. It was almost like I was addicted to the pain of being in the relationship and how he wanted to make everything better the next day. So after I broke it off with him I started dating my current partner who I am also codependent with. My partner has never hit me, but he does have a temper. He will scream at me and get in my face-(most of the time because I will follow him when we fight so he doesn't leave.) We have been together for almost a year and a half. But everytime we fight I want him to hit me. Does this make sense? I hated my ex boyfriend, but with this guy it's almost like I want to feel like I did before...even though i know that i don't. Everytime I am feeling bad or depressed I call my ex-boyfriend. He has a new girlfriend and I don't even care about that. I just call him. I hate it. I don't know if I am making since at all. Does anyone have any answers for me? do i need counseling for this?

February 8, 2004
5:22 pm
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laughingrl22
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September 27, 2010
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It's not like i want him to hit me....but i was used to being treated that way for so long. I call my ex-boyfriend because i still feel somehow like i am codependent on him even though we aren't together anymore.

February 8, 2004
6:27 pm
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gingerleigh
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September 30, 2010
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Hm, maybe you need a different person to call, or a new habit to replace it with. We all need support when we're feeling down. Could you call someone else like family or a good girlfriend? Or maybe come post here? Or if you don't feel comfortable opening up to another person, what about subsituting another "feel good" ritual, like exercise or a bubble bath or some yoga?

February 8, 2004
8:54 pm
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Juanita
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September 27, 2010
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I think that you need to build some faith in yourself. You don't deserve to be beaten or abused. Keep telling yourself positive things. Maybe my trick may help you... I love Shaina Twain's song "Juanita"... get the connection? Find the woman within, she rides on the wind, she can do anything. Believe in yourself. By believing in yourself, you will gain strength, and have patience with yourself... it will take a while for it took you a while to become this way. You'll have some days of doubt. That is normal. I do. When I get that way, I put my CD in and crank it up. I also recently started exercising, and that helps too. Try to find something that makes you feel good about yourself... Treat yourself, you deserve it. Just make sure it is a positive thing - not a Devil Dog or Twinkie. The people here are great too. We all need someone to lean on once in a while.
You can do it. You want to do it & it shows because your communicating with us. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

February 9, 2004
12:32 am
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sol y luna
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September 30, 2010
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I know what it is like to be abused. Sad, because the longer you are abused, the more stuff you have to try to get over.

M.

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